Yeowch

age regressing to 2 years old but i was an especially erudite and articulate baby so you don't even notice

Dogs serve as a kind of virtue eater for Americans to pour all of their kindness into without the risk of improving society or being nice to someone with any agency

in zis sense, we arr all little timmy, down hiz well

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

ive thrown out that morbid talisman that keeps my bestial nature at bay so basically you'd better watch out is all im saying

I think it would be really wonderful if seagulls were constructed more like bottles with a mystery inside. What I'm imagining is that were you to catch one, you could then unscrew its face and there would be a glowing gem nestled in some sort of socket. The Core of the Gull so to speak. Then you could swap that around with other seagulls, and after screwing the faces back on they would fly off as if nothing happened. Hm... Is this too esoteric, or do some of you see what I am getting at?

so awesome how there's an animal called a gooey duck & it's spelled geoduck for some reason & it's a humongous clam for some reason

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

My doctor insists i cant eat clown food and that its bad for me

What even is clown food?

The food that they feed clowns to keep them docile and colorful

lana del rey shld make an anti anorexia song but in the most problematic way possible yk tge chorus shld say fatten me up daddy or smth