Welp.

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY

usamericans did you know you can get into national parks for free (FOR LIFE) if you have a disability? last time i was at one they mentioned it and they said ADHD counted on their list of disabilities so thats pretty cool i got a card and now can enter those parks for free for the rest of my life

there was a cloud shaped like bart simpson in 1852 and nobody recognized it

that’s buffalo bill like actually

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs