Open Borders🕊

My first conversation about PCOS with my new endocrine/OBGYN was about weight management and how that could improve my fertility when I eventually wanted kids. It wasn't asked what my goals were for my health or if I wanted kids, just assumed.

I was a hormonal, depressed mess. I hated my body. My body dysmorphia was so bad that I cloistered myself away from so much. I wore hoodies and jeans in the 90°F, 80% humidity summers. This was considered fine. I was given metformin and birth control pills and told this was all that could be done. That PCOS wouldn't affect my life until I wanted to be pregnant. I wasn't asked if I wanted to be pregnant, just assumed.

I don't know how many PCOS groups I joined on my early 20s hoping to find community and commonality for body dysmorphia and symptom management, only to be bombarded with fertility treatments and tips and 'inspirational conception' anecdotes. They never asked if I was attempting to conceive, just assumed.

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PBS: Language as Prejudice - Myth #6: Women Talk Too Much (via misandry-mermaid)

Every EVERY women’s studies class I’ve been in has had this problem and failed to address it. 

The thing is, I have photographs of my place when I live alone. I have lived with plenty of women in share house/roommate situations and they never had this problem. In all such living arrangements everything was very organised and clean.

I realised when women and men inhabit the same space and there is an equal share of cleaning, society and men tend to view this arrangement as “the man picking up after the woman, the woman slacking.” If the woman does most of the cleaning and takes up significantly less space, this is viewed as “an equal share of duties”. It was bizarre because many times while accusing me of filth, the man would point at a vague spots in the house, separate and shared, that was his mess and accuse me that I was not cleaning up “my mess,” it was almost like he genuinely didn’t see the amount of mess he was making. He would point at a closet that was divided equally with my boxes and his and claim that I was “hogging and taking over”.

I have always cleaned up after myself, and half of the shared spaces, but I always made it a point not to clean up after male partners, because i didn’t think they were entitled to my free labour and i didn’t want to encourage them to view me as their servant. And I think, all of these other women who don’t get called filthy by their male partners, they must be cleaning up after themselves AND their male partners, not so that they could be esteemed as resourceful or remarkably compassionate, but just to NOT be slandered as filthy. And they wonder why they are drained all the time.