CONK CREET

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

this and a blunt

this and a blunt

I just watched a man release every Pokemon he caught except for a level 5 Magikarp, waste all of his money and throw away all of his items at the Pokemon center just before the elite four in Pokemon red in order to trap himself in an unwinnable game. He couldn’t beat the elite 4 with a level 5 magikarp, and it couldn’t learn the hm moves necessary to leave victory road, and Magikarp only knew splash and had absolutely no chance of beating the level 40ish Pokemon there so… This guy wanders around victory road hoping a Geodude or Graveler would use selfdestruct or explosion in the first turn of an encounter and miss his Magikarp, which is technically possible because even moves with a 100% hitrate have a 1/256 chance to still miss. It happened eventually, and he beat the elite four with a level 100 gyarados

What the actual fuck

For some context, this is from a video series called “SoftLockPicking” where a guy’s followers come up with challenges to get him stuck in an unwinnable game and he tries to see if he can get out of them. Sort of a video game escape artist.

seeing this image in 2026 is like seeing an old friend who I've dearly missed

This comic is 25 YEARS OLD. This doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

This was one of the worse black mirror episodes tbh and YET HERE WE ARE

guys please stop joking about ringo starr having the elf stones. an important cultural artifact of elvenkind ending up in the hands of a human percussionist is not funny.

this ISNT A JOKE the elf stones have spent TWELVE YEARS in the hands of an ENGLISHMAN how do you think they ended up at auction? they conveniently went missing after the dwarven kingdom of Stonekeep invaded and vandalized the Silverwood. WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CROWN A NEW ELF PRINCE FOR A DECADE.

i could not BEGIN to discuss the significance of elfstones being in possession of a musician to you people. and don't even get me started on Ringo's stance on the Deepfolk Treaty of the Third Age.

ID / TL;DW: young Black man explains the history of voodoo dolls: they originated in England, where Black people where prohibited from learning to read or write, to help witches keep track of what ailed their patients. Eg., person goes to witch and laments headache, they treat their headache and make a small doll (called "poppet"), trying to represent them as good as possible, stick a needle in its head and put it up a shelf. When they return next week, the witch takes their poppet and asks about their headache. If it's gone, they remove the needle, otherwise they know they have to treat a rather persistent headache.

Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people

I would also like to mention that Banda has significantly higher humidity than Death Valley even during the dry season so if those numbers aren't heat index adjusted, it probably felt even hotter than that.