because i've never tried not looking at the rock

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

"Whats your favorite bird?" "Oh, chickens" "Those aren't birds haha" ??????????????????????????????????????

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

being friends with english majors is so fun you'll send a text like hey are you free for brunch and they'll respond with some shit like "haven't the faintest clue, my schedule is utterly fucked"

english majors so used to talking like 19th century british aristocracy they think this is a joke about busy schedules

my couchsona

check this out i'm playing bad apple in your imagination

reblog to play bad apple on your mutuals

lifetime ban from the boba shop for ordering a kiki tea

wdym for no apparent reason it's because it's awesome

thinking fondly of the time that my girlfriend heard the opening bars of holding out for a hero at the gay bar and asked "is this touhou music?"

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro

i wanna do brofist when you are around

you are the best yo. my sweet smile friend bro