nomi

*dreamy sigh* fruit juice :]

*pulling my gay vampire lover away from my neck* the fuck did you just call my blood

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?

There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.

Why does your post have lingerie on

God forbid a bitch be feeling herself while mentally ill in this economy 😢

fake fans will forget he said this

i loved this poem so much that i memorized it and to this day i sometimes mutter it under my breath to keep my welding tempo even

@i-scan-your-poems

Here!

i loved this poem so much that i memorized it and to this day i sometimes mutter it under my breath to keep my welding tempo even

@i-scan-your-poems

Here!

love when people misquote pangrams in ways that make them no longer pangrams. "a quick brown fox jumped over a lazy dog" is so fun

black quartz sphynx judge my vow

surprisingly few discotheques provide jukeboxes

it's like it disconnects the pangram from its function and just presents it as a Concept. you have to consider what the words actually mean. waltz job vexes a quick frog nymph. imagine it...

yuck

The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.

I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because “You guys kept flirting” but I was like “We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do.” I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was

This might be a good time for Ms. Psych degree here to step in and let ye all know that People Are Unable To Identify Flirting. There are double-blind studies to support this, if you instruct participants to flirt or not flirt with another participant, neither the second participant nor onlookers are able to accurately tell which instruction the first participant was given. Even if you get the flirting participant to rate their attraction to the person they’re flirting with, and only count trials where people are either flirting with people they find attractive, or not flirting with people they don’t find attractive NO ONE CAN TELL WHO IS FLIRTING OR WHO ISN’T.

I’ve heard that people actually have a *less than 50% chance* of guess whether someone is flirting or not.

Thank fuck this isn’t just me failing at humanity

SagePub has one such study here, dated 2014. There might be more recent work, however.

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴