nomi

*dreamy sigh* fruit juice :]

*pulling my gay vampire lover away from my neck* the fuck did you just call my blood

This post is going to make me sound like a total assole and I preemptively apologize. This is not directed at anyone in particular. Giving music recs to people feels awesome and listening to music recs from people is a miserable experience 85% of the time. I’ll mention a classic song I like and someone will be like “Have you heard The Breadsticks cover of that? It is so good!” and you pull it up and give it a try and it is hot garbage. It is coworker music. It is music you find on a playlist created for a popular YA ship. It is worse than the original by every conceivable metric and you sit back and realize someone thinks this is really good and you don’t want to hurt their feelings so you have no clue how to respond. We all know the phrase ‘you can’t eat at everybody’s house’ but you really cannot listen to everyone’s music recommendations. Especially if it is unprompted. People are just rearing to tell you to listen to some bullshit. And it has nothing to do with how cool the person is, there are some very cool and chill people in this world who unironically listen to Imagine Dragons in their free time. You cannot possibly know if their taste in music is good or horrendous until it is too late and your ears have been subjected to some torment.

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with her. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The queen of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send her a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yuri, my liege

I shall name him Zero, after the number of times he has died!

used the bathroom the other day during play intermission but the line was blocking the hand dryers so i just left w my wet wet hands and as i returned to my seat an old man dropped his cane into the aisle and i bent down to grab it and got my wet wet hands all over the cane and i handed his wet wet cane back to him and i said its wet

anatine

wherewithal

grotto

umstroke

posthaste

superlative

beastmode

fuck OFF. WHO ASKED FOR THY OPINION

crepuscular

peripatetic

apropos

effervescent

taciturn

”all language is approximation” believers when my autistic ass finally weaves together the exact right linguistic phrase that conveys pure information and shatters qualia as we know it

this is such a profoundly stupid thing to be mad about but. i periodically think about how banksy made one of my single favorite pieces of art of all time, and everything else he's ever done has sucked. man, how did you nail it once

Winter is a cruel mistress. Spring is a seductive temptress. Summer is a lovely woman but her dick is a bit too large to fit comfortably unless you put in some work. Fall is pretty chill if you have a high THC tolerance.

my four girlfriends. and yes, they smoke weed

You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw

same but it's black people

That's right