do not percieve me

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

most tragic thing about wanting to see more stuff of your oc is that the c is o and YOU have to make the stuff. devastating. why can’t art of my beautiful baby just appear in my hands. just materialize under my pillow, like from the tooth fairy

Official silly bumper sticker

you create Miette? you fold her like the paper football? oh! oh! papercuts for mother! papercuts for mother one thousand years!!!

I have too many questions to ask a vampire that I think they’d kill me if I get to my fifth question.

the sewing machine is a delicate breed of horse

update: i’ve made it through the user manual and have sewn myself a cravat. the sewing machine is a delicate breed of horse with anger in its motion and spite in its heart.

Fingerless gloves are the thigh highs of hands. I will not elaborate

wrong. ballroom gloves are the thigh highs of hands. fingerless gloves are the booty shorts of hands.

shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

i like when i put a little emoticon at the end of my parentheticals (like this ^_^) because it turns it into a messageworm