"Are you more of a family or career oriented person?" Babygirl im a bed oriented person. Snork mimimi

i made a grindr and in under 24 hours i got the most insane unsolicited nude to ever exist. hes fully nude on the beach and in his right hand is a black tipped reef shark i could not make this shit up if i tried

actually fuck do you guys think i ghosted Poseidon on grindr be honest its hurricane season and im on the gulf i mean did you SEE what that guy did to odysseus

Imagine fumbling a 40 year old nudist shark freak this bad

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

This websites hatemail game is insane

Lol

Just slipped on a banana peel, this day couldn't get any fucking worse

Save humanity from the tyranny of Linkedin. The human mind can only take so much preformative professionalism before it finds comfort in the clockwork and undergoes metamorphosis into a cog.

Still remember when a homo- and transphobic acquaintance tried to bring up JKR’s views on trans people in conversation and I shut it down with «oh yeah she’s been saying a lot of dumb shit on Twitter after she finished writing Harry Potter, like when she claimed Dumbledore was gay, just to be politically correct», which made it absolutely impossible for him to admit that he agreed with anything JKR had ever said. Sometimes you just have to weaponise people’s homophobia against their transphobia.

The point is that I’ve used all of these in various contexts and they’ve saved a good number of dinner table conversations from derailing into pointless debating. You don’t de-radicalise friends and family members by entering into political discussions they initiate just to stir up shit. You de-radicalise them by shifting the focus away from their shitty opinions and onto the things you have in common and the practical everyday stuff that exists outside their internet echo chambers.

sat on the toilet too long now im walking like house md

mr sandman was playing in this gas station and the cashier and i both sang “man me a sand” at the same fucking time without hesitation

finally….feminem

aight what human rights violation have they committed now

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

so who’s on first?

That’s right 👍🏻

that’s strange

No, he’s on second.

Well how’s he on second if he’s on first?

No no no, House is on third. Second base is Strange.

Well this whole darn thing is strange but what I’m asking is who’s on first?

Naturally.

Who?

Naturally.

So Naturally is the first baseman?

No. The first baseman is Who.

Well I don’t know that so how’s about you tell me?

House is on Third.

I’m not asking you about third base I’m asking you about first base.

Who’s on first!

This is horrible

Dr Horrible is the pitcher, not first base

That’s not what I’m asking about! No!