Accidental Killjoys

through pottery we domesticated rocks

The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.

First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

The last part was kind of insane, honestly. When we started changing platforms for the donor database, I kept telling them that yes I was aware we already had an account for the volunteer database, and no that could not be connected to the donor database. And they said yes fine sure and then connected them anyway. And I called them back and said, excuse me, I'm confused, I can see both databases. And they said, well, yeah, but it's only you, someone has to be able to see both databases to give other users access. The other users can't see both. And I said, no, we have been asking for a completely separate database. I should not be able to see both. And they said, you are one organization, one organization can't have two databases. And I said, last year someone used our volunteer email list to commit approximately one thousand felonies. Please feel free to imagine how much worse it could have been had they had a way to use volunteers' email addresses to get their legal names. We do not want this to be something anyone can do no matter how much we trust them. Let me describe those felonies to you in more detail. And they emailed me two hours later and said, you can have two separate databases.

This post feels like watching an iceberg go by in clear water. The amount of stuff going on beneath the surface of AO3 just astonishes.

Approximately one THOUSAND felonies

what the fuck

post tlg some random asshole defenseman makes a shitty comment about shane taking it up the ass and shane looks at him, then at the scoreboard that shows the centaurs winning 6-1, then back down at him like "i dunno man i think one of us is getting fucked in the ass right now and it isn't me." and then that guy tries to fight him

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

I finally got around to reading Not Easily Conquered and I'm just about as okay as you'd expect after that

this is one of the fics they're talking about when people say stucky fandom in 2014 was writing beautiful poetry and academic papers in their fanfictions

favorite part of hockey rpf edits is when there’s a clip of them staring into each other’s eyes or something during a game but there’s a fuckass graphic in the corner that’s like “TRIVIA FACT sponsored by BASKIN ROBBINS: neither of these teams have scored a goal in Seventy Years”