"Dump your Puppygirl" has one of the worst conclusions I've read in an essay. I think there's a lot wrong with the essay, but the conclusion doesn't fit with the evidence presented. Throughout the essay, Knight bemoans how the puppygirl doesn't do the dishes, doesn't work, doesn't contribute materially to the polycule. Then, at the end, she presents a labor analysis of the polycule. The actual numbers do not matter; the words used do not matter. What matters is the reason why the author and you should leave: Knight says you should leave to reclaim your 'labor'. That the puppygirl does not return the investment you have given her. Maybe that is true. It is still not the reason why you need to leave her. The reason why you need to leave the puppygirl is that you can't say 'no' to her.
As mentioned earlier, much of the essay focuses on more petty grievances the author had with the puppygirl. This weakens the author's point immensely. Opening with the small things she does wrong was meant to set the scene, emphasize the stacking of weight. What it actually does is make the author seem resentful and bitter, someone who treats relationships as a series of tallies to hold over your partner's head. It takes until after the comparisons to four different men (which are some wildly inappropriate metaphors to use for a transwoman, but besides the point) to get to the actual issue. Puppygirl is emotionally manipulative. She posts for reassurance, she apologizes for reassurance, she has sex for reassurance. When the author tries to say 'no' to the last one, puppygirl responds by treating it as a personal attack. The question being asked is not 'do you want to have sex?', but 'do you love me?'
After this revelation, the essay wastes more time on pettiness. Having a bad memory is not a moral issue. The issue is what happens when you try to confront the puppygirl. You cannot ask anything of the puppygirl without the her breaking down. She can't ask for help with the rent or dishes and she can't ask for sexual boundaries. Any confrontation in the relationship ends with the puppygirl needing to be comforted and the actual problem remaining unsolved.
You can have a healthy, functioning relationship with someone who can't do the dishes, who can't remember things well, who can't hold down a job. You can't have a healthy relationship with someone that you can't say no to, can't ask for help, can't have a difficult conversation with.
gummygunk
prguitarman
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
