Jack from Online

you know apparently you're not supposed to give kittens and cats saucers of milk? yeah what you're actually supposed to give them is 1-2 Modelo tall boys. easy mistake to make, happens to the best of us.

I just felt someone Z-target me

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

no internet interaction will ever again reach the high of chaos of the “does germany still exist?” officialgermangovernment: “Yes” “thanks” 

notice my skin is clearing up -> think "I'm becoming normal" -> think "detroit become normal"

detroit become human has ruined me, it's fused itself to the word "become" in my mind. it's been eight years since it came out. eight years. this still happens every day. I never even played the game.

Butch won’t be my companion. He’s like you’re too intense. You must’ve turned on that computer like 50 times in a row last time.

What’s really funny about lowering your karma this way is that after you do a major good Karma action and listen to the radio, the radio DJ Three Dog will be like this horrible fucker from vault 101 we all hate him so much you know that guy? He did another fucking thing. He saved a thousand orphans.

when tiger met dragon

crouching harry hidden sally

no, actually, i can’t be friends with someone who has opposing political views. this is mostly due to the fact my views are “people deserve rights”