oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

Guy who’s only been in two relationships: "There are two types of women"

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

hey do you mind grabbing joseph's coat for him? yeah its the red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and blue one

tshirt that says I viscerally hate your boyfriend

mind you before sinners we didn’t have definitive proof that it was possible to successfully make a movie in 2025

Have you seen the new movie? It's on library. It's literally on the library. It's on library without ads. It's literally on your local public library. You can probably ask for it on your library. Dude it's on your library. It's in the original case too. It's on library. You can watch it at the library. You can go to your local library and watch it. Register onto your local library right now. Go to your library. Dive into your library. You can watch it. It's on there. Your library has it for you. Your library has it for you.

oh my GOSH wow... I'm on Library...

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

This is the first time in my life when it's actually fair to criticize the President for gas prices. I've spent so many years explaining to people that Presidents have pretty limited influence over the price of oil and that they do not have a magical lower-gas-prices button on their desk, I almost forgot that the President does actually have a raise-gas-prices button on their desk called "start a war with Iran for no reason"