A Song to the Sea

hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that

Raise your hand if you have also been personally victimized by the barometric pressure changes 🥲

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

Finally, I can stop thinking about Sherlock when I plug in my phone charger.

Listen I don't what he did to get cancelled, because I can't be bothered to care, but surely there are worse people you know

weird as fuck living in a culture where it's considered more impolite to speak up and defend yourself against someone treating you unfairly than it is for someone to be rude to you in the first place

older family members, coworkers, customers, and strangers in general can say the most batshit insane things to your face and somehow you're considered to be the "rude" one if you say "hey that wasn't cool of you to say"

The worst thing about speaking a language natively is that your brain will insist on applying the Rules™ even when there's nothing to go on. You can look at a damn keysmash and some chthonic gremlin in a little professor hat living in the back of your skull will go "I think that one's a verb".

In the interest of full disclosure, this post was prompted by overthinking why some variations of the "she eben on my nezer til I scrooge" template meme work and others don't, and how sometimes it's because it just doesn't seem plausible that a given piece of gibberish could be a sex act.

Bro wake up 116 new genders just dropped

never gets old.

rick astley did a cover of pink pony club and i loved him singing about having fun on stage in his heels

is this a set up

hehehe only one way to find out

yeah okay ill reblog that

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"