Grnnnng

Shit fuckin hurt coming out

nods serenely

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

my friendship gland is black and shriveled

thank god. i mean thank something else

I've learned the hard way that you need to make sure everybody present is familiar with this tweet before attempting to quote it or else everyone is going to recreate that photo of those college students holding solo cups staring at you with disgust

one of the tweets of all time to me

mustard snob canon

Hey,.. if you were thinking about having sex today, I'm nonbinary fortnite.

got eaten up with 3 words

2009

do u like mine

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

This post blindsided me so bad I spent a full minute staring at it in shock

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke