you literally couldn't be a bigger mess

churches, I’m begging you, please run all your sign ideas by a thirteen-year-old

Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for 1,987 slutty, slutty years

pen pals with benefits

I cannot believe that the Handbook for Mortals scandal got so bad that Tara Gilespie herself came back from the ether of the internet underworld to deny she wrote the damn thing!

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY FUCKIN LIFE

AAAHHHHHH YOU GUUYYSS

I SHOULD TELL I BLEW THE CANDLE OUT JUST TO GET BACK IN

I Was Always On Green Because My Mama Didn’t Play That Shit.

I got a Red for the first time ever cause I launched a basketball at this girls face 😭😭 it was an accident tho I swear lmao

This traumatized so many kids. I knew someone who had no memory of this until I said the phrase “go flip your card” and suddenly they remembered everything

I went from green straight to red because I gave my friend a piggyback ride for like five seconds

America are y'all okay..?

just bc i like to know: what does ur phone case & lock screen look like?

What you should all be impressed by is Alexander Hamilton’s ability to limbo right under the super low bar Eliza set for him as a husband…

“Just stay alive, that would be enough”