Wow Cute

What's cheaper than a cock? A onion.

An* 😌

What's cheaper than An 😌cock? A onion.

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

I feel like zombie settings could do more to make slow zombies scarier in quiet, creeping ways. Zombies facing away from people. Walking backwards. Only moving if they're not seen. Holding a survivor but not hurting them. Motionless but their eyes follow you. Soundless horde.

Zombies sitting at tables, doing nothing for days, just staring silently while you search for food. Zombies walking endlessly through the same trails they did in real life. Zombies sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to move. It never will. Zombies that are not mindless drones, they're beings whose sanity is lingering in darkened secluded places of their self, ready to burst forth in unsuspected ways. Humane in absolute cryptid ways and inhumane in the most human way possible.

Medication is so annoying. I don’t want to get up so I can take more ibuprofen because the cramps are starting up. I want to take 100 pills of Tylenol and 100 pills of Motrin at the beginning of any given cycle and then be good for like three months. Or one month! Or one week! It doesn’t have to be an efficient usage of the medication if it means I don’t have to think about it at all for a bit. That would be nice. But unfortunately this kills you. Yet another example of how the science engages in a constant conspiracy to make you get up out of bed just when the nap was getting good.