a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”
#MyFly

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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Love Begins
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@shrekingcrew
a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”
#MyFly

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I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.
What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.
Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?
Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.
Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

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i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol
You get a Spinner Shark
Carcharhinus brevipinna
The zoo in my hometown posted this picture of one of their cheetah cubs and I'm obsessed
HIS NAME IS YAM ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDINF ME
seriously awesome
That thang naked

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Who deserved to live more?
The Romanovs (entire royal family circa 1917 including the kids)
Harambe the gorilla
A polling group that never read accounts of of the children were executed.
oh my god Harambe had kids?
mutuals if you were a video game character I would do every step of your questline and get your good ending
What would you do with non mutuals? Cause speedrunners are always killing me for my crystal scythe before doing my quest
Well now that I know you have a crystal scythe I'm definitely killing you for your crystal scythe
hey loser, 2001 just called, apparently something awesome happened
Hold on I need to Google something
Oh my god
Sonic Adventure 2!?
i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead
i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on
she transitioned

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Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago
Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.
THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????