C'mon Babe We're Gonna Paint The Town

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

fat butch is genuinely the staple . when u say butch i think of a fat butch and it hasn't crossed my mind that this is a new thought for some people

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

[seeing a cis woman upset after a cis man called her a hysterical bitch] omg why are cis people always infighting?? gender norms oppress all of them, they should be fighting together :3 cis women need to stop making such a fuss and be kind to their brothers

"Why are they fighting when they could be kissing instead!"

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974