[Nice Dream]

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

It's crazy that I used to live without the saluting emoji

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old

If I'm elected as your president in 2028 I promise to bring back the Western Interior Seaway.

imo the pov character should be lying to themselves and concealing shit from themselves constantly

‎ ‎

exactly, bestie. Exactly

taking T has informed my opinion of the strength gap stuff, because I definitely build extra muscle just lying about doing jack shit, and my arms feels harder and more full, BUT I am still 90% weaker than my girl friend who has random cantelope biceps for no reason. so it's kinda like, testosterone will give you a little stool to stand on, but there are ladies out there born with full on ladders. and that's so great.

We should popularize more hispanized phonetic spellings of classic character names like we did with esnupi

don't shave your legs this summer HOLD THE FUCKING LINE

youve been a bad *remembers youre plural* people