A Random Encounter

New friend made an appearance on my railing in Missouri. Presumably some type of jumping spider but I can’t narrow my ID more than that.

But I think it’s very cute.

Paxon: Spider ID - MO, USA

Hello, yes, hello, this is definitely a jumping spider. It looks to me very much like a male Hart's Jumping Spider (Tutelina harti), family Salticidae.

Tutelina harti - Wikipedia

hi there it's princess/nova back again, i'm really sorry i have to come here like this but me and my wife are still struggling abandoned by our families and unable to reach any of our friends. we've been trying to survive without me being exposed to harassment but at this point we're going hungry. we don't have any income and need help affording food for ourselves and our kitties please if you can, donate. I would be so truly thankful

v3nm0: @Crow-Forgemaster , @Prince-Nova

c@sh@pp: $dragonforgedbutch , $StrayNova

very familiar with this game. when my wife first moved in with me, I spent like two months laying awake every night in sheer terror that the roof was going to fall in. there was in fact zero chance of that happening, I knew that and yet I was still afraid.

the truest cure for this was time paired with material improvements to my life, but what really helped in the meantime was coming to understand why it was happening. for the first time in my life, I had something that I was afraid to lose and no real reason to believe that I would lose it. if I'd had a valid reason to be afraid, it would have been easier to deal with, but because I didn't my brain manufactured an irrational fear.

as for what to do in-the-moment, distracting yourself is a viable option, but not really conducive to sleep. you can try standing up and making yourself physically large, spread your arms and legs wide and just occupy as much space as possible. do stupid poses. I do that in elevators before interviews, it helps a lot (tho make sure you're facing the door, lil awkward to get walked in on like that lol)

speaking out loud is another good trick, thinking anxious thoughts is a very different mental process than saying them out loud. that's why we ask people, "do you hear yourself?" if you thought or said something ridiculous, hearing yourself talk can give you enough distance to matter a lot. ever had the experience of telling someone you're afraid of something and finding that you're a lot less scared of it than you thought?

i need to update it. we still are looking for housing in Portland but now we have medicaid to tide us over and that will be easy to switch to OHP once there. our current housing is no longer safe and we need out asap.