Optimal Cryptid

Forcing myself to believe this is a bit on 916 days left

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

Thank you for posting without the fucking destiel meme

Oh my fucking god.

JESUS CHRIST

I’m still amazed at how they got a “noot noot” to sound so much like a “fuck you”

“Media can be factually made with a child/family audience in mind” and “media for children/family audiences can be well made and engaging pieces of art” and “if you are an adult you should have a more diverse media diet than what exists to target an audience of primary middle and grade schoolers” and “it’s okay to watch a cartoon as an adult and enjoy it” can coexist.

best sleeping conditions: freezing fucking cold room but layers and layers of blankets 

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly