teehee :3

is that a gun to the back of my head or are you just happy to see the back of my head?

shirt that says "its not gonna suck itself", but instead of pointing downwards at my penis, it points to the left and slightly up, leaving everyone a little confused on what exactly needs to be sucked

Turning dog gravity off so they all get whisked away

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

an atom is about the size of a pea btw. maybe a little bigger.

[deeply concerned] whose pussy is this?

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

every so often I come across a kink post about like being kidnapped and tortured or held at gunpoint or begging for ones life for sexual purposes and I understand its going for a very haggard frail thing being taken advantage of vibe but in my mental image it really just comes off the same as that picture of wolverine strapped to a nuke

This is the funniest image I’ve seen in years like this is probably the very worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone ever and the artist somehow perfectly conveyed the correct level of emotion he’d be feeling like dude it’s over but what else are you supposed to do

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

is anyone imagining a dog with a propeller hat on

when men get too jacked they start looking like crash bandicoot