I am Duz

crinkle ball my beloved

Never thought I’d find the word “spring” to be so funny

TT: This literally changes the entire game.

scandalous

 i will reblog this as many times as it takes me to stop finding this funny

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

Why is this back on my dash in the year of our tormentor 2021?

real tumblr veterans know this isnt even the ORIGINAL crave that mineral post, it’s a repost by the randy your sticks person because the OP of the true original supported child slavery and practiced therapy without a license

This isn’t even parody it’s just how conservatives sound.

(op uses he/they pronouns!)

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

50 First Doses