I want Lil Nas X to do a cover of Santa Baby. He’d make it as suggestive as Eartha Kitt intended
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I want Lil Nas X to do a cover of Santa Baby. He’d make it as suggestive as Eartha Kitt intended

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reblog my post boy
in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday
the following events ensued:
1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?
2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes
3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes
4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke
5. this absolute masterpiece:

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good morning to the beaten and the damned only
penny is such a good name. hello my name is dollar bill
you think im petting you but actually i a,m takig you away
FOR THE LOVW OF GOD HELP ME
these are getting weird
if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this
No one seems to be acknowledging the far funnier element of this, which is, that when you go to the commenter’s account, you find out they are actually fucking roleplaying as a sexually repressed skeleton and jjst really committed to the bit while everyone in the reblogs is talking about how much they hate minors or whatever. thank you kharak the skeleton servant of the almighty lich king
if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

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kinda bullshit the English language doesn't have a discrete word for an unlit campfire. you light a campfire, but what is it before you light it? also a campfire, I guess. I need to invent a word that can be intuitively understood as "the arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire"
well "an arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire" sounds like it's just a bundle of sticks and I think there is a collective word for that maybe
pre-ecampsia
i’m waking up, to fazbear frights. i go to work and i spend five nights
incredibly good addition
Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway
the second radish is 29 feet away
World Heritage Post
Average nonusamerican [tumblr] experience be like:
- poll
1. seemingly obvious answer 35%
2. not obvious answer 12%
4. I'm bald 54%
- reblog
I can't believe you guys. This is taught in every AMERICAN school. It's literally part of the AMERICAN syllabus. You must've been a bad person and slept in class or skiving off when your AMERICAN teacher was going through this. If you didn't know this you are a bad person and should be ashamed of yourself
- poll What Continent is this?
Africa 12%
I dont knowwwwwwww 75%
im bald 13%
- reblog
its not our freaking fault the US school system is so bad it failed us all so bad you dont even realise how bads it is here we dont know anything its not oiur fault its not my falts its not my fault

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this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye
these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name
his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?
i am wrong, what the fuck
world heritage post
How did it get up there
It’s difficult to tell - typically light fixtures are installed using some combination of screws and brackets to affix them to the wall, but in this case the actual point of connection is obscured by a cat.