trash👌🏻

She cannot help but breathe a sigh of relief when she realizes he is only severely depleted of chakra. Not ideal. But not immediately life threatening.

Sakura half considers leaving him there for making her blood run cold, for making her mind stray to dark places. But the logical part of her concludes that it would be detrimental to his recovery, so she hoists him over her shoulder as she unlocks the door to her empty apartment.

As she sets him onto her couch, there is something that bothers her about him she just cannot place. Something different. Something wrong.

But Sakura cannot find herself caring about what ifs and possibilities right now. All she knows is the comfort of the steady beat of his heart.

When her hands finally stop trembling, Sakura steels herself to perform a proper physical exam.

Sakura gently lifts his chin and listens to the faint puffs of his breathing. She watches his chest rise and fall. Placing her hand on his cheek, she feels for the heat flowing through his veins.

She can’t afford to miss anything.

As she unclasps his heavy cape and lets it fall away from his still form, Sakura finally realizes what was bothering her.

Sasuke is missing an arm.

--

Sakura moves him to her bed. Sasuke is too cold for her liking, so she wraps him in her comforter. When she is sure he is situated, she lies next to him. Not close enough to touch, but not far enough to miss his warmth.

Thankfully and surprisingly, his phantom limb is already well healed and well taken care of. The bandages are wrapped professionally and carefully. He smells like smoke and healing herbs instead of rosewater and sweat.

Even though she is glad Sasuke is not in any immediate danger, a small part of her burns with a not-so-foreign feeling.

How dare he show up on her doorstep weeks after he leaves for an escort mission only to return to her like this? More broken than when he left and smelling like another woman?

Sometimes she doesn't know why she tries. Sakura will always be the girl that everyone leaves behind. It is only a matter of time before this boy who smiles like flowers wilts away at her touch too.

But tonight, just for now, she pretends that everything is okay.

--

Sasuke does not wake the next morning or the day after. And Sakura stays by his side the entire time.

She holds his remaining hand as if it were an anchor.

Honestly, she should have taken him to the hospital. Or even to the Uchiha residence. But she deludes herself that the best place for him to be is right here. Sakura is a selfish woman after all. Hasn’t Sasuke always been well aware of that?

Perhaps that is why whenever he presents a flower for anyone other than her, an ugly indescribable rage bubbles up within her.

That gesture should be hers and hers alone.

--

When the gravity of her parents never coming home finally hit her, she realized how alone she was.

The village council decided that the daughter of the heroes of the village shouldn’t stay at a common-place orphanage, instead placing her in her own apartment room, away from the fox’s wreckage.

Occasionally a caretaker would come and take care of some household chores and made sure she wasn’t starving but otherwise, she was left to her own devices. There was much to rebuild after all, extra manpower should not have been allocated to just one of the newly made orphans. The fourth Hokage wouldn’t have wanted that of course.

During those early days Sakura doesn’t want to be a burden.

She found a way to reach the high-top stove with a wooden stool and three pillows stacked on top of each other so the lady who brings her meals does not have the come as often. She learned how to budget her measly allowance so she doesn’t have to ask for more funds when the village coffers were being emptied for restoration. Sakura even acquired the ability to swallow her overwhelming grief whenever it was just too too quiet.

Sakura is after all, as the progeny of the saviors of the village, she cannot dishonor their name by being useless and selfish when so many more people are less fortunate than her and lost so much more.

And because she was such a good child, an example of a true loyal shinobi, soon the village deems her basically self-sufficient.

Soon they just left her to herself entirely.

--

On the third morning since Sasuke arrived on her doorstep, Sakura has to go back to work. She almost wants to call in sick but her strict work ethic prevents her from using her accumulated PTO when she does not really need it.

Sasuke’s breathing is steady now and the color is returning to his cheeks. She can even tell the thurm of his charka gain strength with each passing minute. Discounting his now missing arm, Sasuke probably just needs rest. Whether she is here by his side or in the hospital mattered very little.

With on last fleeting glance, Sakura leaves.

The hospital has a steady trickling of patients by the time she arrives. Sakura is quickly recruited to clinic to help with the incoming ninja for their routine check-ups.

While most of the time, a routine check- up before or after a mission was not out of the ordinary, but ninja are naturally skittish in hospitals. Besides the stench of blood etched into the walls and the screams that echoed down the hallways, most shinobi just hated being poked and probed, especially the ones with significant bloodlines. As a result, only certain high-ranking medical ninja or doctors were allow to examine them.

Sakura just happened to fit both criteria.

Her schedule is seemingly endless.

An Aburame clan member with his insects that were eating his intestines. A Yamanaka now hearing too many voices. A Hyuuga branch member with a splitting headache and a pulsing sealing mark. Several mauled Inuzuka with infected bites and torn limbs.

There is never a time for Sakura to even sit for lunch, let alone think about her house guest.

As the sun begins to set over the horizon, the nurse hands her a chart for the last patient of the day who had finally arrived after their escort mission. Before Sakura can even open the file, the patient saunters in like the world is his oyster.

“Hello Kitten, did you miss me?”

Sakura’s heart stops.

In one hand is a fresh cut single rose, dew still glistening on its petals. Sasuke uses his other hand to brace himself on the doorframe as he tries to lean seductively against it.

His other hand.

She suddenly feels very dizzy. From across the room, Sasuke watches her go pale.

“Sakura! Hey, are you ok?” He reaches for her but she flinches away as if he were a ghost. The hurt in his eyes is palpable.

Sasuke’s patient files fall from her hands. She stumbles backwards and Sakura all but collapses on the floor, no longer able to stand. Sasuke rushes to her side, his arms catching her before she can hit her head on the tile, encircling her in a warm protective embrace. His worried words increase in volume, drawing the clinic staff into the room. But Sakura can’t really hear anything.

Her thoughts are racing.

Because Sasuke is in front of her, alive and well. Uninjured. Perfect and whole.

Then who was the Sasuke she spent worrying about for the last three days? The one that is broken and lying in her bed like a corpse?

She isn’t sure what’s real anymore.

But the faint scent of rosewater keeps her from the brink of insanity.

Eventually, Sakura is able calm her breathing, brushing off Sasuke’s anxious embrace, and stands. She reassures the staff that she is fine, just a bit of hypoglycemia. Nothing to worry about.

Although it is enough to placate her subordinates, Sasuke is not convinced. He flutters around her like a worried hen, insisting that she sit down and eat something. Even digging up a melted candy bar and a few solider pills from his pockets to offer to her.

“I’m fine,” she reassures him, “Really.” Seeing him now, lively like this, warms her heart. “Don’t worry, I’m fine now.” She looks into his eyes, he softens.

“Ah, okay.” Sasuke gives her a half smile, so full of affection it makes her heart ache. He extends his hand to help her up, Sakura takes it.

A knock on the door causes them both to look up. The nurse at the door, pretty and blushing, glances at Sasuke shyly. “Dr. Haruno, Lady Tsunade wants you to take the rest of the day off. She can see the last patient if needed,” the nurse then looks to Sasuke batting her eyelashes, “Sir, if you would follow me.”

“No need my little kitten, I can reschedule. Besides this way I can see you lovely ladies again.”

Sasuke winks and the nurse giggles. His megawatt smile causes the young girl to blush even more.

Abruptly, that ugly sensation that Sakura knows all too well returns. It burns her to the core causing her to grind her teeth. Her fists clench, her nails bite into her flesh drawing blood.

Without a word to either Sasuke or the nurse, she gathers her things and brushes past them to the exit.

“Hey wait for me!” Sasuke is already scrambling after her down the hallway.

Sakura spins around, surprising him mid step. Her glare could kill a lesser man, but he receives it so often that Sasuke is only mildly disoriented. “Go back inside. You are already here, go find Lady Tsunade and finish your physical.”

“But Kitten, you are not feeling well!” there is a slight tremble in his voice, an emotion she cannot really place. “Let me walk you home at least.”

She shakes her head. “Leave me alone.”

Because at the at the end of the day, Sasuke always does.

--

There is a certain spot behind the academy training grounds and further down the path, underneath the shrubbery and pine trees, that Sakura goes to cry.

When she first started school, the teachers all praised her for being so well behaved and well read. An excellent example of a model student. But when it came to the practical exercises, she struggled.

Unlike many of her classmates who had clans and bloodlines and secret techniques more ancient than the village, Sakura was just painfully average.

Her parents did not pass on to her any impressive justus before their untimely demise. Nor did they teach her much besides the basics. From the corners of the schoolhouse, her once-beloved teachers whispered that indeed the only child of the Hokage, despite her efforts, was quite the disappointment.

And the children were crueler.

They did not like the nepotism bestowed on her position as village darling, despite being products of it themselves, and they made sure she knew it. How her efforts amounted to nothing even if her parents were heroes. How no one would look at her if Sakura had not been born under a lucky star.

Her ugliness, her weakness, her uselessness; the reasons that her parents would rather die than come home to her.

Sakura never gaves them the satisfaction. In fact, it just drove her to prove them wrong. She studied harder than anyone else. She practiced longer than her peers. She is a flower that blooms regardless of adversary.

Yet at the end of the day, nothing really filled her emptiness. So she returned to certain spot behind the academy training grounds and further down the path, underneath the shrubbery and pine trees where the ugly, weak, useless girl does not have to hold up a world of expectations.

And then on that fateful day, a little boy the same age as her, stumbled across her hiding spot. Sakura still had tears in eyes and snot streaming down her nose. Her hair was a bird’s nest and her fingers bloodied from holding kunai.

The child was descended from a large influential clan and the epitome of everything she is not. His mother the head of his clan, his father the chief of police, his brother the once in a generation genius. Handsome, strong, and gifted. He was Uchiha Sasuke, the boy in her class who is all smiles and laughter.

But his expression was the one that Izanagi wore when witnessing the horrors and ugliness of Yomi.

Sakura whose fragile perfect facade that she worked fruitlessly to obtain was stripped away in a second by the one person who was her antithesis.

The anger boiled to the surface.

“GO AWAY!” But she was the one that runs away.

Sakura retreated back to her lonely apartment, she hid under the covers, where none of the dying daylight could reach her.

She must have fallen asleep because Sakura was awoken by a light tap on her window. A silhouette outside her balcony was illuminated by the fading twilight. Even though she continued to ignore him, the tapping continued until she finally acknowledged him.

And it was Sasuke Uchiha, the boy who has never lost anything. An outstretched hand held a single rose in full bloom, hurriedly cut from his mother’s prized rose bushes. The thorns had been carefully picked away, though in haste, so Sasuke’s hands match her bloodied ones.

She was flabbergasted. “Wha..?”

“For you!” he was flushed and red and very very sweaty, as if he ran the entire way to meet her. “When my mom is sad, my dad always gives her flowers. So here, take it!”

Gingerly she took the flower from his trembling hands. Sakura felt just as red as him now. “And if you are still sad, I’ll get you more! I’ll get you all the flowers in the village! No, the world!”

Sakura smiled then, then laughter bubbled up in her. He was so silly. So ridiculous. But yet her heart has not been this light in years.

“Thank you, Sasuke.”

Perhaps that’s when her world shifted on its axis.

--

Her neighborhood is quiet when she returns to her complex. As Sakura treads up the stairs, she can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, the last three days were just a dream. A figment of her selfish desires and exhausted mind.

But as she unlocks the door to her unit, the faint smell of cooking rice and miso soup wafts past the entry way.

It is almost surreal.

Pinpricks of tears gather in her eyes. She has not come back to a home cooked meal in years.

Sakura takes a deep breath and rounds the corner to greet this imposter.

She has seen Sasuke in the kitchen multiple times; he often helps his mother when he comes home early from the station and especially when Mikoto invites her over for teatime. But it is just jarring to see another version of him in her pink frilly apron stirring a pot of soup.

He faces her uttering a quiet “welcome home”, setting some plates on the table. The dead ringer gestures to her with his single arm to sit and eat. But all Sakura can do is stare.

This man is just as handsome but now seeing him awake the differences are obvious. His hair is slightly longer and a fringe covers the left side of his face. He does not hold himself with the brash confidence that she is used to. Rather his posture is a subdued sort of arrogance, like a beast staring down its prey.

Sasuke has always been strong, but this man was dangerous.

And his eyes. One of them the nostalgic gaze she is used to. The other, an endless lavender spiral-the pattern is something only spoken of in forgotten legends, is staring into her soul.

“Who are you?”

Without missing a beat, “Uchiha Sasuke.”

“From when?”

The man, Sasuke, spots a calendar on the wall. “A few years from now.”

She needs to calm down and think.

Time travel is not unheard of, there are even few forbidden Justus that are sealed away in the Hokage’s office that Sakura has researched. Space- time Justus are notoriously hard to replicate though, especially without a bloodline limit. But the greatest danger with those techniques are creating paradoxes. One simple singularity could destroy everything she cares about.

Two Sasukes existing at the same time surely would break the universe. Sakura clenches her fists.

She cannot the Sasuke she lo-…her Sasuke, be overwritten.

However, the planet continues to journey around its star. This man had been in their world for several days at this point. Both Sasuke and this alter ego did not seem to have any side effects of existing at the same time.

And perhaps most of all, she cannot think of any timeline where Sasuke would become like this; stoic, muted, and filled with what seems to be an overwhelming sorrow.

In the back of her mind, Sakura recalls a time where she was lost in an alternate world. She had been amnesia at the time, and even now it still seems like a midsummer dream. But Sakura still remembers it fondly despite it all.

A place where her parents are alive. The place where she, her other self, lives.

“From where?” He smiles then. Soft and gentle, so fragile. It leaves her breathless.

“Far away from here.”

--

Dinner is a mostly silent affair with only the clinking of utensils against porcelain as accompaniment. Occasionally he would refill her plate when she would be close to devouring everything. Strangely he must have known that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

Once he deems that she had enough to eat, Sasuke clears his throat awkwardly. “I assume you have many questions but before you start, I want to apologize for imposing.” He appears a bit lost, “I did not realize I was on so low chakra, so thank you for helping me.”

“It’s alright,” Now that she has something in her stomach, the anxiety has ebbed. Sakura does not know where to start but regardless of how or when or why, there is one question that she needs to be answered above all else; “Are you okay?”

On the surface, her words are very broad. Her line of sight however is focused on the man’s missing limb. This Sasuke understands her intention though. “Yes, I’m fine now. These are old wounds.”

Sakura lets out a sigh of relief that she didn’t even realize she was holding. No matter the universe, she hates seeing Sasuke in any sort of pain. “I’m glad,”

“Will you be staying long?” Even if they are not at risk for the universe imploding, having two Sasuke’s in close vicinity to each other might still prove perilous. After all, when Menma’s doppelganger had appeared, her wayward teammate caused a major terrorist incident.

“Just long enough for my reserves to recover.” Sakura nods, understanding that would mean soon.

She hesitates, but only for a fleeting second. “You can stay here… if you would like…until you recover” Sakura wants to think this offer is in the name of Konoha’s security and not her own selfish desire.

“Ah thank you, if you would have me.”

--

“Do you travel to different worlds often?” The are eating breakfast the next day at her tiny dining table. Sakura calls in sick today so she has the leisure of asking the other Sasuke everything that has been plaguing her mind.

“In a sense,” he pauses to pick out the bones from his grilled mackerel, carefully placing them in a small pile at the corner of his plate. Once he completes the task, he trades plates with her and removes the bones from her fish too. “There is threat I’m investigating; I’m just following leads.”

“Should we be worried?”

He shakes his head, “No, this world seems to exist in a different plane from what I can see. It’s probably why things are so different here.”

“Different how?”

“Like…” he contemplates, “like how my counterpart has two hands.” She snorts.

“What else?” He glances over to the picture on her book shelf, the team 7 photo. Where Kakashi looks half asleep, Menma scowling in a bad mood, her; rim rod straight trying to emulate perfect posture, and Sasuke who is winking into the camera.

“We call ours ‘Naruto’.”

“So Ms. Kushina really likes ramen in both worlds.”

He chuckles, “I suppose.”

“It seems like a fun place.”

“Ah.” The other Sasuke has that look again. The one that clouds over is otherwise statuesque face, one of yearning.

“Then why are you here? Why didn’t you go back there to begin with?” When she was somehow transported to the other world, Sasuke’s whereabouts were unknown. The other Ino, her alternate classmates, even Lady Tsunade avoided speaking about him as if he were a taboo subject. Back then, once she had regained her memories, her only thought was how her other self was so fortunate to live in the world where her parents were alive and she was so loved.

But now, Sakura isn’t so sure how wonderful that world is if it could make Sasuke, her definition of happiness, have such a sad face.

His gaze is far off and his voice barely a whisper, “…I wanted to see someone… but I’m not sure I should, she is happier without me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Another thing different about your world is that your version of Uchiha Sasuke, could make her…you… happy.

I’m just not…worthy of her.”

Sakura startles him out of his pathetic monologue by slamming his hands on the table and standing up angrily.

“That’s bullshit and you know it! In no world would any Sasuke be unworthy! You are just being a coward!”

Deep down she knows she is a hypocrite. She is the coward. But she even if she cannot have her parents or her Sasuke, she needs to make she that her other self doesn’t end up like her. Acrimonious and bitter. So ugly and hideous.

Because she finally realizes the look in his eye; the entire time he was looking for a fragment of his Sakura in her.

Hot tears threaten to run down her cheeks, because what she wouldn’t give to be in her other self’s place.

They eat the rest of the meal in silence.

-- By noontime, his charka is back to a healthy level.

Sakura knows that her time is up.

There were so many things left unsaid between her and her parents. Even if this was not her Sasuke, she doesn’t want it to end like this.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” She crosses her arms awkwardly and looks at an interesting spot on the drywall. “I don’t know your circumstances and it was not my place to say that.”

“It’s alright, you were right.” Sakura tilts her head at him, his expression is gentle. “Thank you for everything.”

His strange purple eye begins to dance and a dark mist swirls behind him.

His portal to home.

To her.

As Sasuke turns around to leave, “And I think you should be kinder to yourself too. You and her are similar. In that case, he and I are as well.”

With those last words, his presence is swallowed by the abyss.

--

There is a tapping on her balcony window. A silhouette framed by fading twilight stands silently, nervously on her terrace. Sakura sighs, the turbulent emotions still swirling within her.

She opens her screen door to unsurprisingly find Sasuke there. She gestures for him to enter as the evening chill has already begun to settle in.

“How are you feeling?” In one hand is bouquet of daffodils, the other a packed bentou. He hands her the flowers which Sakura accepts with trembling hand. He sets the food on her table and begins to unload everything.

“When my mom heard you took off work, well you know how she gets,” he unpacks rice balls with umeboshi, karage, tamgoyaki, watercress, pickled vegetables…a seemingly endless spread. “Once you feel better, she wanted to have tea with you. Not that you have to, of course. I think she just likes having another girl around chat about girl stuff…”

He’s rambling now. Sakura grabs his hand, holding it like an anchor intertwining their fingers, halting Sasuke’s anxious chatter.

“You really scared me you know,” he confesses. The expression he makes now, is so similar to the one that another version of him made; one of longing.

“I’m fine now, I promise.” She squeezes their linked fingers, “thank you.”

And Sasuke’s smile, the one at this moment just for her and her alone, is all that she needs.

“What are you doing here?” Naruto all but sobs. 

“Uh…there was a lecture series on cellular therapy?” And also there was always really good catering. Sakura tightens her grip on her bounty. 

“But…but…” 

Now Naruto really does look like he is about to cry. 

“Naruto, what happened? Are you okay?” She tries to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder without dropping all the free food in her purse. 

“I…I asked Sasuke…if he wanted to get ramen and drinks,” she could barely make out the words in between his tears, “and he said no because he was on a date!” 

—

If she had less confidence in their relationship, Sakura would have probably immediately been plunged into the pits of despair that their mutual friend was currently wallowing in. 

But Sakura and Sasuke had been going steady for the last year and a half. Or as Sasuke likes to point out, “we’ve been together for 2 years Sakura.” 

In that time, Sakura likes to believe that she has gotten a good handle on how her boyfriend (of a year and a half Sasuke-kun!) communicates. 

Sasuke is a man of few words but his blunt way of speaking and grunts have their own nuances. 

She knows that to him, efficiency and brevity are key and he doesn’t say more than he needs to. After all, he is a man who expresses himself with his actions. 

Perhaps that’s why she loves him so much.

And also why she is so annoyed she always has to pick up after him when his lack of communication gets him in trouble. 

After all, Sasuke had been under the impression that their anniversary was a full 6 months earlier than it actually is!

And despite Naruto’s claims that Sasuke was indeed doing something shady and salacious with an unknown party, Sakura had been receiving cat memes from the so-called adulter the entire time she was in the auditorium. 

When she gets back home, she of course finds Sasuke lying on her couch watching cat videos on his phone. 

Like where she thought he would be. 

“Welcome back,” He mumbles. She hears her phone chime, no doubt Sasuke sending her another cat video. “Do you need help?” 

Although he asks her, Sasuke is already taking her bag out of her hands and unpacking all the food she took from her lecture.

“Hey, we need to talk.”

Sasuke’s head snaps up. He knows that tone, it’s the one she uses when he has done something she doesn’t particularly like.

“About what.”  Is this because he didn’t go to that talk with her? Or because he sent her a funny cat meme every five minutes so that she couldn’t concentrate? Or?…

“Sasuke-kun,” Sakura pauses trying to find the words. Sasuke tries not to allow the panic show in his face. “Did you tell Naruto that you were on a date tonight?” 

“Oh that.” 

“Yes that! You should have seen him! He was distraught!” 

Sasuke doesn’t seem too concerned. He is already reaching for the food. “Don’t mind him.”

“He thought you were cheating on me!” 

“He is an idiot.” 

Which in its own way, the tone of that last comment is very reassuring to Sakura. But she still has to at least make sure that Sasuke does not cause any other unsavory misunderstandings! 

She sighs, “You should just tell him you don’t want to hang out with him today. You are going to cause Naruto so much stress when he assumes stuff wrong.” 

Sasuke gives her a look. 

“I’m sure he would have understood if you just wanted to spend some time alone.” 

“Sakura,” his eyes are piercing, “he would have kept asking.”

She rolls her eyes, but Sakura still finds a comfortable spot on the couch to cuddle up next to him. 

“Plus the dumbass is much more scared of you than me.” 

—  

It is 8 pm on a Friday night before Sakura gets home. All she wants to do is shower and curl up in bed and watch true crime documentaries. 

She is about a 3rd of a way through her to-do list when her phone rings. 

Of course, it’s Ino. She glances at the time and knows that there is only one thing her best friend wants at this hour. 

“Girl! Let’s go!” Ino is likely already downtown if the pulsing club music wasn’t already a give away. “Let’s get DRUNK!”

No, how about Sakura take an 8 hour nap?

“Sorry Ino, I’m out with Sasuke right now. Maybe next time!” 

“What? UGH! Boo!” And with that Ino hangs up. 

Relieved, Sakura burrows under her covers. Sasuke, who had been in her bed since she got into the shower, curls up beside her. 

As Sakura reaches for her laptop, Sasuke rolls over to face her, propping himself up with one arm and asks “So you want to do it?” 

The way he smiles smugly at her antics and similar tactics makes Sakura want to mess with him a little. 

“Sex? Now?”

Sasuke’s ears immediately heat up. 

“What? No! I mean yes…I mean,” Sakura giggles at his flustered reaction as he continues, “do you want to go on these dates?” 

“I do.” the way Sasuke looks at her makes her warm, “but maybe later.” 

She wraps her arms around him and tucks her head underneath his chin. Sasuke responds with a peck on the forehead. “I like it here too.”

Shikamaru had been over to Ino's a few times before, just never in a setting where there wasn't a party involved. 

He unlocks the door gingerly with his spare key that he hadn't ever used before today. The apartment looks so different when it’s not crowded with people and smelling of stale beer.

As he takes off his shoes at the entrance, he hears someone washing the dishes in the kitchen. 

He is about to call out to Ino to ask her where she put the report exactly, when he remembers that Ino is the one who sent him to the apartment.

This is Mr. Inochi's worst nightmare. 

As far as he knew, Sakura had been on campus since 8AM because she is an overachiever like that and Ino is the one who sent him to the apartment. 

Quickly he runs through who could possibly also have a key;

Him. Check.

Choji. On campus.

Possibly Sai? 

Wait, were they that serious yet? And if they were, why was Sai doing the dishes and not running across campus to deliver Ino's report?!

He turns the corner, fully intending to tell Sai to get his shit together.

Instead he finds Sasuke at the sink drying a plate. 

They stare at each other blankly before Sasuke looks away to dry another dish, ignoring Shikamaru completely. 

“Uh…” Shikamaru really does know what to say. 

Sasuke the cryptid of their friend group. The friend of a friend really. 

He had transferred to some fancy boarding school when they were kids and just recently reconnected with Naruto and Sakura. But even then he is still a pretty mysterious figure. 

In fact, he only ever begrudgingly shows up to parties with Naruto or makes an appearance when Sakura is around. Otherwise, he is just the shadow in the corner. He keeps to himself and otherwise only communicates in biting remarks and glares. 

Shikamaru isn’t even sure if he goes to the same university as them. 

So the fact that Sasuke is standing in Ino and Sakura’s kitchen, carefully placing the mugs on the drying rack, makes Shikamaru wonder if the weed he got from Kiba was stronger than advertised. 

“I’m just going to go grab Ino’s report…” 

“Sure.”

Shikamaru makes a mad dash to Ino’s room. 

Sasuke continues to arrange the spoons in the cutlery drawer. 

Once he has the report in hand and is exiting the apartment, he dials Chouji’s number in panic. Because he has tea!

—

Ino: we have leftovers from yesterday u want?

Chouji: YES

Chouji knows he shouldn’t abuse the powers of the spare key to Ino’s place but hey isn’t free food always an emergency? 

Plus Sakura was supposed home so really it wasn’t like he was just coming for the leftover pizza from yesterday’s party. He was also socializing!

After he opens the door Chouji makes a beeline to the fridge. Piling the pizza boxes in his arms, he turns to the living room to see if Sakura is there and to ask her if missed any other morsels. 

Chouji stops in his tracks.

Sasuke is on the couch folding shirts.

Blouse-y shirts.

Shirts that he is pretty sure he saw Sakura wearing last week.

“How did you get in?”

Chouji had heard about the whole awkward encounter from Shikamaru, but to be honest he thought that his best friend had been stoned and hallucinated the entire exchange. 

But now, seeing the man in the flesh, Chouji owes his buddy an apology. And needs a drink

Sasuke briefly looks up before returning to the laundry, “Sakura.” 

Chouji laughs nervously because Sasuke is still intimidating in lounge wear. “And where’s Sakura? I should say hi….” 

“Napping.” Sasuke answers without even looking up. 

Chouji wants to leave, pizza or no pizza. No free food is worth this. 

— 

“So Sasuke, how are you?” Sai asks the other man who is making two cups of tea in the kitchen.

“Fine,” Sasuke answers the other man who is waiting for his girlfriend to finish getting ready for their date. 

“I see.” 

A moment of silence. 

“And Sakura?” Sai continues, thinking that more conversation will help him befriend the other man. Ino had always said she wanted to go on a double date with Sakura.

“Studying. Big exam is coming up.” Sasuke adds some honey to one cup. 

Another moment of silence.

Ino sure is taking a long time to get beautiful. 

In a last ditch effort, “Do you like sports?”

Thankfully for both of them, Ino comes bursting out of the bathroom. “I’m ready! Let’s go!”

She ushers Sai out the door, “Don’t wait up!” she calls out to Sakura who no doubt has noise canceling headphones on. 

“Bye Sasuke,” Sai tells the other man cheerfully as the door closes. 

—

Three months later on the rare afternoon that Sasuke isn’t bumming on their couch or goddamn vacuuming their entire apartment, Ino sits Sakura down at their dining table for a much needed heart-to-heart.

“I need you to give it to me straight,” Ino takes a deep calming breath, “Are you two a thing?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Sasuke!” Ino practically screeches. 

Immediately Sakura turns completely red and begins sputtering like a dying fish, “What?! No! NOOOO! We’re friends! Just friends!” 

“Then are you two fucking?”

“NO!” Sakura denies even louder. 

Ino wants to strangle her roommate. 

“You. Can’t. Be. Serious!? He practically lives here!” 

“No he doesn’t! He just comes over to hang out!” Sakura says, digging herself into an even deeper hole. 

“Sakura. Girl. Please.  Sasuke has been doing our dishes for months.”

“He is just being nice!” 

“And your laundry! Just yours!”

“He’s a good guy!” 

Ino screams in frustration. “I swear if you are not at least sucking his-”

Sakura’s phone chimes loudly. 

Ino narrows her eyes at the interruption. “Who’s that?”

Sakura reads the message then turns her phone over to hide the screen, “I don’t want to say.”

— 

These days, Itachi only ever sees his brother in passing. 

Between their busy schedules it’s to be expected, the brothers are like ships in the night. In fact Sasuke the past few months seem to disappear for days on end. 

Today is one of the rare days that Itachi and Sasuke cross paths in their shared apartment. And Itachi is absolutely mystified as to why his brother is packing a small cooler with tupperware. Like enough food for the weekend. 

“Where are you going?”

Sasuke sends a text. “My girlfriend’s.”

----

Sarada has faint memories of her father; more often than not her father is sent to the battlefield and only returns a few days to weeks at a time between campaigns. 

The Uchiha clan is one of the important noble families of the Konoha and known for its long history of bloodthirsty warriors. Her father is no exception. 

Whenever he returns home, Sarada hides behind her mother’s skirt. Her father is an imposing demon-like man, larger than life, and taller than a mountain. Someone more suited for stories and legends than real life. 

They call him a man more fearsome than Susanoo-no-Mikoto itself. So violent, so blood crazed, it is a wonder that Sakura lived as long as she did when a male heir had yet to be born. 

Thankfully, it seems that as a daughter, her father pays very little attention to her. Whenever he returns from the borderlands between here and Oto, he barely spares her a glance. 

However, whenever his eyes meet her mother’s through his helmet, he beckons her over. 

“Sakura,” he commands, voice deep and low, “bring some tea to my quarters.”

Sarada always remembers her mother looking angry but determined then. Sakura dutifully follows her husband into the inner chambers. She doesn’t emerge until late morning.

Sarada is usually having lessons during this time, but one day she sneaks out of her etiquette classes to find her mother. 

She searches almost the entire unusually empty manor before finding Sakura in the kitchen brewing tea. Her mother’s clothes are covered in blood and her hands are covering her tears. 

Sarada has never seen her mother sob so terribly before.

From then on, she decides that her father must be an especially cruel man. 

---- 

Whenever her father returns from war, her Papa also comes home. 

Today she finds him on the engawa overlooking the gardens. He is sipping some tea while looking over some scrolls. He appears injured, bandages wrapped around his torso, but otherwise in good health. 

If her father is the devil incarnate, then Sarada’s papa is a handsome devil. 

No wonder her Mama is so taken with him. Sometimes when she is supposed to be asleep, she can hear her Mama fuss over Papa. They hold hands when no one is looking and share secrets no other soul knows. 

Despite the cold manor they reside in, Mama is an affectionate woman at her core and her Papa is receptive to all she has to give. 

And Papa must be someone important too; after all he is allowed to leave and enter from the inner quarters that a normal Uchiha foot soldier could not. 

Sarada pads over to him, he looks up and beckons her closer. 

“Have you been a good girl, little peanut?” 

Sarada scoffs. “ I’m not a nut.” But she holds out her hands anyways. 

Her Papa chuckles and pulls out some dried persimmons from his sleeves. “Don’t tell Sakura.” 

Sarada smiles at their little secret before taking a bite. “What are you reading?” Her Papa allows her to climb onto his lap and drapes the scroll over her. Sarada squints, only understanding a fraction of the words on the paper. She points and reads aloud the characters she recognizes.

“Good girl.” He slips her another dried persimmon.

That is when her mother finds them. 

“Sasuke-kun!” her mama enters the scene in a huff, “I told you to stop that, you’ll ruin her dinner.”

Sarada quickly shoves both persimmons into her mouth. Her papa has the decency to look sheepish. 

“You can’t keep spoiling her like that! She is going to get an upset stomach!” Sakura continues.

“Do you want me to spoil you too?” 

Her mama sputters, all red and flustered. Her hands move to cover her flaming cheeks.

Sarada meanwhile uses the distraction to hold out her hands for another treat. Her gentle papa instead leans down and kisses her forehead.

---

For the past year, her father and his retainers had been defending the borders between Oto and Konoha. After the dissenters were finally defeated, a grand celebration is held in her father’s honor. 

She remembers that her father was hailed as the second coming of Madara, the legendary clan head from the distant past. The comparison is uncanny, both bloodthirsty and merciless but dauntless in the face of adversary. Soon it becomes her father’s mantle; Lord Uchiha no Madara, the slayer of the Orochi. 

Sarada hadn't been invited to the banquet due to her age but that night she is much too excited to sleep. She has never seen so many people gathered in one place in her life. And even though her father’s presence makes her nervous, she loves the tales about his exploits. 

The banquet hall is rowdy and the envoy’s drunken singing could be heard from down the halls. The fuzzy silhouettes of her father’s soldiers line the banquet hall, she has a hard time making out who is who. Everything is quite blurry even with the multiple lanterns.

The only one Sarada could identify for sure is her mother. Sakura’s features are distinct, like a lone flower against the night sky. Her mother sits obediently at the head of the table beside the man that is her father. 

He has forsaken armor this time, but there is still a sword at his side. From the distance, her father doesn’t look particularly like he was enjoying the festivities. 

He appears bored. Perhaps his blood is not used to peace, after all a beast belonged in the wild and a warrior to the battlefield. 

Sakura every once and a while would refill her father’s sake cup or serve him more of the feast in front of him. Occasionally, when her mother would lean over and her father would whisper something into her ear. 

Her mama would stiffen and her face would become strained. At first Sarada can’t make out the expression, until a small smile blooms on her mama’s visage. 

Sarada goes to bed soon after, not quite understanding their interactions. 

---

Her earliest memory of Papa is halfway past her fourth year. 

Father had been back for a few days now, not that she had really seen him. And to be perfectly honest, her father is a scary man and she would rather not run into him. 

But Sarada is also curious so she puts on a brave face and finds herself outside her mother’s quarters.

Peering through the crack in the paper screen door, Sarada spots her mother’s figure and a man she doesn’t recognize. 

Her mama is leaning on the man’s shoulder while he serves her sake with his free hand. Back then, Sarada found it a strange role reversal that a man dressed in such luxurious robes was pouring her mama a drink. 

Sarada has seen some men in her father’s army throw a tantrum when a pretty lady wouldn’t attend to them. Even Sakura during official functions knows to serve her father first before anyone else can even eat.

But this man sat with her mama so nonchalantly and closely, breaking tradition as if it was nothing!

Her shock was audible to where her mother and the man turned to see her crouched by the entryway. 

Sarada felt as if she interrupted a private moment, but man’s expression morphed into something soft and Sakura giddily rushes over to pick her up. 

“Sarada! Come, come! Papa is here, see?” Sakura hands her over the stranger’s awaiting arms. She doesn’t want to leave her mama’s embrace but the man’s is just as warm. 

“Hello little peanut, have you been good while I was away?” 

How is she supposed to answer him? She opts for a nod and reaches for the familiarity of her mother.

“Sasuke-kun…” 

“It’s alright, she probably isn’t used to my face.” He leans over regardless and kisses her mother’s forehead. Then he looks Sarada straight in the eye. “I am you papa.” 

Sarada thinks she likes this ‘Sasuke-kun,’ this Papa. Someone so kind to her mother can’t be a bad man. 

----

As she gets older, Sarada becomes privy to the rumors about the current acting head of the Yamanaka clan. How her son looks nothing like her deceased husband but has the same eyes as the court painter. 

And Sarada has her own theories about her mama and the man that is her papa.

She just hopes that her father never finds out. 

---

Even though her mother is essentially the lady of the house, Sarada still hears whispers of her lineage. Even more so now that Sarada begins wearing glasses. 

Before her father leaves for his next campaign, he gives Sakura his inkan. 

As the wife of the lord, Sakura officially acts as his surrogate in any official business even if some of the family retainers aren’t happy about it. 

Fortunately, many would rather swallow their pride that incur her father’s wrath. 

All except one. 

Uchiha no Shin, a rather minor branch clan member, always disapproved of her father and even more so now that he left his wife in charge of the estate in his absence. 

It all comes to a head when Sakura denies him funding for a rather ill thought out building project. 

“You dirty wench! ” 

Sarada can hear the screams from her room. She rushes to the scene. Sakura is still standing her ground when she arrives. 

“I don’t see any benefit in this strategy and I doubt my dear lord husband would either.” 

“What do you know?! You are nothing but a plaything you stupid bitch, I’ll teach you some manners!” Shin chooses that moment to raise his hand at her mother. 

Sarada feels the anger seep into her bones but her mother chooses that moment to retaliate and punch Shin square in the face herself. 

Shin falls back unceremoniously. Sarada is slack jawed. 

“How dare you!” he seethes. Shin tries to get up only for another person to rush to her mother’s aid. 

Shin’s screams are agonizing and it takes Sarada a moment to realize that not only had her father returned, but he had drawn his sword and stabbed it clean through Shin’s arm, effectively pinning it to the tatami. 

“Sasuke-kun!” 

Sarada blinks once. Twice. 

“Are you alright Sakura?” Her father, her papa asks, completely ignoring their screaming relative. 

Sakura nods and he turns to her as well “Are you okay Sarada?” his voice deep and low but the same kind cadence up close as her beloved papa.

Suddenly her father’s mysterious and distant features that were always hazy to her meld with the papa in front of her now.  

Sarada adjusts her glasses. She feels really stupid in that moment. 

---

This time, Sarada is invited to the banquet. 

It’s an annual harvest festival and her father is the guest of honor. The local leaders once again announce him as ‘Lord Uchiha no Madara’ much to his chagrin. 

“I really hate when they call me that.” Sasuke tells them later when the food is being served and drinks are flowing freely. Sakura is on one side while Sarada is on the other. Habitually he is discreetly putting any sweets that make it his way and the tenderest pieces of meat onto their plates. 

“Anata,” with time Sarada notices that her mother only ever uses this term in public when her father needed more placating than usual, “they are just just in awe of how great you are!”

“I wish they had chosen something different, Madara was such a pain in the ass.” 

“Sasuke-kun!” Her mother tries to be scandalized but can’t help but devolve into a fit of giggles. 

As her father continues to look on adoringly at his wife, Sarada can’t help but agree with him. 

A name like that is unfitting of her gentle papa. 

A/N: Happy Sasusaku month 2021! My brain is mush right now so excuse the multitude of grammatical errors. Thank you for reading!

And just to note in historical Japan, men tended to change their names depending on significant life events. For example, Minamoto no Yoshitsune's childhood name was Ushiwakamaru.

---

They don’t hold hands. Not really. 

Sasuke has never been a proponent of public displays of affection and Naruto finds it to be a great insult on her behalf. 

“You two are acting the same as always,” Naruto berates Sasuke one day as they all are having dinner. “How are we all even supposed to know you two are dating?

Taking offense to the comment, Sasuke hisses back “We’re not dating. We are courting.”

“What’s the difference?! It’s the same thing!”

“You’re an idiot.” 

“And you don’t know how to romance a lady!”

The two continue to argue loudly until Sai informs them that management is unhappy with the noise level and considering kicking them out. Hero status notwithstanding

---

When they were younger, Sakura took great pride in being one of the few allowed to touch her beloved Sasuke-kun. Normally he rejects any shows of affection and comfort, especially if they involve hugs and hand holding and touching of any kind. 

Although he never did quite look happy when she wraps her arms around his middle or hooks their arms together or when she cries over him when she thinks she lost him, Sasuke doesn’t quite shake her off either. 

In fact, there are even times when Sakura thinks those stray touches have a deeper meaning. Their intertwined hands in a dark forest. The desperate embrace during his descent into madness. His arm catching her before she falls. 

Things are different now. Sakura doesn’t quite love him like she used to and Sasuke doesn’t really hate her as much as he claimed. And they are so weak for each other. 

Now when Sakura grasps his hand, threading their fingers like a promise, he smiles so softly at her. It makes Sakura fall a little more. 

---

Except there are times, more often than not, she notices that Sasuke isn’t at ease as he seems. 

He grits his teeth when they shop hand in hand at the market. Sweat drips from his brow, his breathing quickens, and his grip on her hand tightens whenever someone approaches too close. There is a slight trembling in their clasped hands whenever someone stops to talk with them on the streets.

He accepts her hand and her arms and her affection, but Sakura knows he is uncomfortable. He always has been a private man and she feels guilty for forcing him out of his comfort zone. She worries that due to his never ending penitence, he feels he has to indulge her.

So Sakura tries to reduce the amount of times they touch each other in public. She makes sure to stand at a respectable distance, hoping to ease his anxiety even just a bit.

Perhaps that’s why Naruto complains about Sasuke’s aloofness. Or why Ino wonders how he is still so cold to her. Or why Kakashi sometimes looks at them with pity. 

To the outside world, that’s what it must look like. A foolish girl in love with a heartless man. 

It hurts to not be able to express her love, but she loves him enough to compromise her desires for his comfort. 

Yet, away from prying eyes, Sasuke is more receptive. He actively seeks out her embrace. Her hands, her lips, her love. He holds her closer and closer still.

So when he asks if she would leave with him, Sakura knows it will be good for them. Things will be different. 

---

Sasuke is not much better even with the scenery change. 

When they are on the road, Sasuke is still on edge. He tenses when she reaches for him. He jumps when she extends her arm.  He clutches his sword a bit tighter when she draws near. 

Yet sometimes, when the night is so quiet it seems like they are only ones in the universe, he inches closer and closer still until they are one. 

She finds herself feeling disappointed hoping that being away, from Konoha, from expectation, from everyone, would change things. 

Sakura does not understand. And all she ever wanted was to understand him. 

---

The ambush had been a surprise but hardly a battle for their combined skill. A few thieves on the road are nothing compared to what they have already seen. The highwaymen are quickly apprehended and left with the nearest officials. 

Despite this Sasuke throws himself forward as vanguard, first to engage. Afterwards he brushes her off, never meeting her eyes or responding to her concerned inquiries. When she reaches for his only hand, he all but snatches it away, horrified. 

“You know I could have taken them.” she tells him after they make camp as he methodically wipes the blood from his sword. “I am perfectly capable of fighting, you don’t have to jump in front every time.” 

Sasuke continues cleaning his weapon, “It’s not like that.” 

“Then what? Why are you acting like this?”

Sakura is frustrated. It’s one thing to be protected, it’s another thing to not be trusted to protect herself. And the weeks and weeks of his hot and cold attitude, she finally reaches her limit. 

She sits down across from him seething and does not speak to him the rest of the day. 

----

As they settle in for the night, she senses Sasuke lying down next to her in their makeshift tent. She is facing away from him and he turns to her. Sakura is aware of the heat radiating from him like an imploding sun.

Then slowly, ever so softly, he reaches for her. 

His fingertips barely brush against the back of her shirt before he clutches the fabric between the tips of his fingers. Sakura almost believes she is imagining it if not for the slight trembling of his only hand.

For a long time they are still. The only sound permeating the tent is the night outside and the synchronization of their breathing. 

Eventually Sakura turns to face him, the only man she’s ever loved. She brushes his hand away from her shirt. Sasuke is startled by her sudden movement, but when she intertwines their fingers he relaxes. He brings their connected hands to lips as a silent token of gratitude. 

Sakura notices that the trembling still hasn’t subsided. 

This time she reaches for him. Her other hand cups his cheek and brings him close until their foreheads touch.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Sasuke-kun, it’s…” but he cuts her off. 

“I trust you, I do. I just...” There is a faraway look in his eyes. “I have only one.” He squeezes their clasped hands. 

She already knows about his qualms about a prosthetic arm. He had told her once upon a time ago that he didn’t deserve it. It is both a reminder of his sins and a testament to his atonement. 

“If I couldn’t protect you because I was…” she follows his gaze to the shape of their connected palms, “Distracted.”

There is a long silence, “If something were to happen to you, I don’t think I could forgive myself.”

---

The next morning when they set off, Sakura grabs his empty sleeve. She wraps it loosely around her wrist as if they are bound together. 

This is her new oath

Sasuke is surprised but does not try to shake her off. Sakura raises her opposite hand and clenches it into a fist. 

“If something happens, I’m sure we can take them one hand behind our backs! Together” 

And the way he smiles afterwards is so gentle makes her fall for him a bit more. 

--- 

Sarada unsurprisingly starts to learn to walk much quicker than her parents  initially anticipated. 

Sakura watches with amusement as their daughter attempts to stand using Sasuke’s pant leg as purchase. Her husband is very patient and always carefully helps Sarada back up when she loses balance. He murmurs words of encouragement that Sarada doesn’t understand but nevertheless welcomes. 

Eventually, Sarada grows tired of just standing and attempts to take her first step. Unfortunately she overestimates her gross motor control and starts to topple forward. Her father catches her before she falls. 

Not deterred, Sarada tries again. This time with her using her father’s hand for balance. 

As she takes another step, Sakura takes her daughter’s other hand. Sarada takes another step. Her husband glances over at her, but she finds instead of a tense gaze it is one of contentment. 

And the Uchiha family walk together hand in hand, one small step at a time.

He grabs the nearest thing he can get his hands on. The darkness of the house makes it difficult to see, but whatever he grasps in his hands is hard and solid. 

He quietly descends until he can see the shadowy intruder in between the panes of moonlight filtering through the windows.

And he swings. 

Sasuke feels a satisfying crack as his makeshift weapon makes contact. 

And he continues to smash whoever or whatever it is until it stops moving. 

---

Sasuke is very proud of his house. 

It is built on old Uchiha lands on the outskirts of Konoha. Originally, the old dilapidated Uchiha manor was torn down to make room for urban development but for some reason the plans fell through. 

When he hears that the plot was back on the market, he knows it’s a sign.

He builds the new house from the ground up, a testament to new beginnings and fresh starts.

It is modest but spacious. Sakura berates him; there is too much room for a family of almost three. Sasuke assures her that the plethora of rooms is an investment for their future children. Sakura lightly smacks his arm, telling him that they should wait for the birth of their first before worrying about others. 

He doesn’t have too many memories about his ancestral home; there are vague recollections of his mother singing in the kitchen, of quiet days with his father on the lakeshore, of his brother before everything went wrong. 

Sasuke wants his new family to also experience those halcyon days that still remain so fondly in his heart, only if it is partly to relive those nostalgic days,

---

Sasuke awakens to the sound of glass breaking. 

It is midday. He must have dozed off while waiting for Sakura and Sarada to return from their impromptu trip to the park. Or was it the grocery store. He cannot quite remember. 

There is an indescribable rage when he sees the glass shards littering the carpet of the den. His head is pounding. What if Sarada had been home? What if Sakura had been in the room?

He stalks to the front door and throws it open, slamming it against the brickwork splintering the eggshell paint he had so carefully picked out with his wife. 

From the distance, two teenagers are aiming rocks at his home. 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?”

To their credit the two teenagers do look shocked and somewhat frightened, but neither of them put down the stones in their hands. 

Perhaps his reaction is a bit much, but he has to protect his family. 

Seeing red, Sasuke picks up one of the flower pots on their porch and hurls it as hard as he can at the teens. 

They scream and scatter. 

He cannot help but feel satisfied at their retreating figures. 

---

Sasuke is roused from his sleep by the heavy footsteps outside.

He rolls out of bed with an annoying headache which does not help his mood. Descending downstairs, Sasuke checks each window in the house, trying to locate the source of the noise he heard. 

Finally from the large living room window, he spots what appears to be a handyman inspecting the pipes in the backyard. 

This could be just a routine scheduled inspection. Or perhaps Sakura had called a plumber or something while he was sleeping. He does not remember if she told him about it, but he is never that coherent after waking up. 

Regardless, Sasuke does not want to lose sight of this man, so he stands by the window watching. Sarada is sleeping and his wife must be tired from being up all night, so he needs to make sure this handyman does make too much noise. 

After a few minutes, the man outside seems to realize that there is something watching him. When he looks up, the man spots Sasuke at the window and immediately freezes. 

Sasuke waves so the man knows that he is there, making sure he does try anything funny. After all, the rest of his family is resting. He doesn’t not want to disturb them. He needs to make sure this man is not a threat. 

Surprisingly, the handyman screams. He bolts out of the yard. 

Sasuke moves from the living room to the hall to observe the man running for his truck. The handy man takes one last look back, however still seeing Sasuke at the window, all but scrambles into the vehicle before peeling out of the driveway. 

Sasuke is annoyed at the noise but a bit of pride wells up in his chest for expelling an interloper. 

---

Sasuke groggily opens his eyes. 

Someone is weeping. 

Slowly he gets up, bones creaking from the stiff position he was napping in and follows the sounds of the sobbing. When he rounds the corner, he finds Sakura standing by the coffee table. 

A chill runs through him when he realizes she is the one crying. He hates when she cries. Sakura is clutching a framed photograph. Their wedding picture. 

Her tears are flowing freely and falling onto the table top. He notices the wood has become a bit damaged, as if something heavy had fallen on it with great force. Sasuke makes a mental note to have it fixed later.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. He places his hands on her shoulders to comfort her which only causes her to sob harder. 

Sakura is saying something, but he cannot make out gargled words between her tears. It sounds almost like halfway between an apology and a question.

“What’s wrong Sakura?” he tries again. Sasuke needs to know what he did wrong. 

Sasuke waits patiently for her answer.

But Sakura continues to mourn.

---

The sound of Sakura’s voice wakes him up. 

Venturing downstairs, he is surprised to see another person at that doorway. She is dressed in a suit with a shiny realtor badge. 

Sakura looks reluctant, but his wife is also kind so she lets this woman inside anyways. Sakura gives the woman a tour, making sure to point out the highlights of the house. 

The realtor is impressed, as she should be. “Mrs. Uchiha, this house would fetch quite a price on the market, you would make a small fortune! No time like the present!”

Sakura laughs nervously, obviously uncomfortable. 

When Sakura rushes upstairs to grab something, he decides it is time to make his presence known. 

“Get out.”

The woman flinches, terrified. 

“This house is not for sale.” 

He smiles when the woman runs for the door. 

---

Sakura returns this time with another person he does not recognize. 

She really needs to start warning him about potential guests. Sasuke knows he can be pretty unapproachable, especially after just waking up, but for his wife he tries to be on his best behavior. 

The new woman is younger than the last person Sakura brought; on the cusp of adulthood but still a bit of baby fat in her cheeks. She wears red glasses and has her dark hair styled in a short bob, not unlike his wife’s. 

The young woman and Sakura are chatting in the living room. Sakura is happily pointing at dusty knick knacks around the house. The young woman nods along, occasionally adding a comment which makes Sakura laugh.

The young woman doesn’t seem like a threat. Sasuke figures he should at least be a good host. Perhaps he should get refreshments? Or should he introduce himself first? He was never really good with pleasantries and socializing. 

While deep in thought, Sakura and the young woman have now moved to the hallway near the staircase where he stands. They don’t seem to have noticed him yet. 

Sasuke is about to greet them when the young woman asks. “Mama, why are there so many rooms in this house?” 

He is confused. 

Sakura chuckles softly, sadly “Well your papa, told me it was an investment.”

“Was he planning on having an entire soccer team?” She wriggles her eyebrows and Sakura giggles. 

“No, I think he was just so excited to start a family, he went a bit overboard.” 

“I’ll say, this place has 5 more bathrooms!”

“That is just how he is. Always going overboard!”

 Lost by the conversation, Sasuke unknowingly takes a step back. The old staircase creaks, causing Sakura and Sarada to look up. 

“What was that?” 

“Well they did say this place is haunted.” 

“Sarada.” Sasuke can tell even from this distance that his wife is about to cry. He wants to comfort her, but she is looking right past him. 

“Sorry,” there is still a guilty look on Sarada’s face, “I’m sure it was nothing.”

---

He remembers now. 

There was something in the house. His singular goal; to protect his wife and child no matter what. A struggle. Pain and darkness. 

Yet, how long has it been since that night? Why is he unable to piece together the details of today? His head feels like it is about to split.

But Sakura and Sarada are okay. They are alive, well, and healthy; that’s all that matters. He can rest now. Sakura can answer his questions in the morning. He can catch up with Sarada when he wakes up.

As he falls back asleep, he can’t help but feel victorious.

After all it is one thing to forget his child’s face, but another to forget his wife. Even though it hurts to think that she mattered very little, Sasuke Uchiha hasn’t seen his daughter in years so the logical part of her understands if he cannot place the girl she is now with the small child he left behind. 

Sarada decides forgetting his wife is much more unforgivable. Mama still speaks of her estranged husband with so much affection whereas his own were supposedly subjective at best. Her mama shouldn’t be kept waiting for a man who would never return. 

It is as if leaving never affected him. As if in the grand scheme of things, his little family barely registered. 

Yet, when Sarada watches her father gently help her mama up after her battle, her clenches for a different reason. 

---

Upon her father’s return, there is noticeable change to her mama. 

Suddenly there is a bit more spring in her step. Mama smiles more readily. Her laugh is a bit more carefree. 

Mama flutters around. Always blushing, always flustered, and spoiling her husband rotten. She gets tongue-tied when her husband addresses her softly and glows with a faint radiance when he clasps her hand. 

To be honest, Sarada thinks it is kind of cute how her mother is still acting like a maiden in love rather than a woman who had been married for years. As if everyday her mama is falling in love all over again. 

Although Sarada does not know her father as well as she would have liked, there is an obvious difference in his behavior at home compared to the man she met on the road. 

He is still just as aloof and just as reserved, but a bit more relaxed. He lets mama lean on his shoulder and brushes the hair out her face and dotes on her mother quietly. Her father even listens with rapt attention as her mama chatters away about this and that and gossip he has no interest in. 

Her papa is much softer when he is with her mother. And Sarada can see just how much Mama means to him.

At that moment Sarada does not want her papa to leave again. 

There is just something beautiful about her parent’s relationship. How despite distance and time and everything in between, their love never wavers. 

And it angers her that her mama and her papa have to be satisfied only with these small moments.

Yet in these stolen moments, where her papa and her mama sit side by side and the world around them melts away, her heart clenches. 

She cannot help but smile. 

--- 

It turns out, no one in the Uchiha household is a morning person. 

When Sarada shuffles into the kitchen much too early to be humanly awake, she is surprised to find her father equally as bleary-eyed already in the kitchen. 

He is standing in front of the coffee pot, glaring at the machine as if personally offended by the contraption. When the bubbling stops, he pulls a thermos out of the cupboard and empties the entire pot.

Sarada watches as he adds cream and an unhealthy amount of sugar. Her papa takes a small sip and before screwing on the lid. She isn’t sure if it’s because it’s too early or just a trick of light but Papa winces in disgust 

Papa then moves to the rice cooker and begins to make packed lunches.

Mama comes stumbling a few minutes later. “Oh my gosh, I’m so late!” She scrambles to find her ID badge and stethoscope.

“I’ll see you two later!” Her Mama kisses her forehead and pecks her husband’s cheek before rushing to the door. 

Papa catches her at the entryway as she is on her way out. He hands her a piece of toast, the bento he had just finished making, and the thermos on the counter. 

Her mama’s cheeks flush and she stutters a quiet thank you. Papa wishes her a nice day and ushers her out the door. 

When Papa returns to the kitchen, he finds Sarada is sitting at the table smiling coyly. 

“What.”

“Oh nothing Papa.” His reddening ears only make her smile wider.

---

When he pulls his hand out of Naruto’s chest, he can’t help but feel a solemn sadness enveloping him. Watching his only friend, almost brother, bleeding out and fading away. 

But he is also giddy. He wants to smile. He wants to laugh. It bubbles up from the depths of his heart.  Because the color on his hands is the same as Itachi’s.

There is power crackling beneath the curses he now bears. There is a chance for vengeance. 

And soon, it will be his brother’s blood between his fingers. 

---

His eyes remember everything. 

So the memory of his brother, falling to the ground painted in the colors of his family, are burned into Sasuke’s weary spirit.

He remembers later that even his tears are dyed in crimson. 

----

In place of his arm is a splatter broken bones and muscle fibers and torn sinew. He wonders if after all of Naruto’s efforts he will die here anyways. 

It is a fitting end for a lost man whose vision has always been shrouded in a violent rage.  

But Sakura is here and she does not let him die. 

Her chakra is calming. Her eyes, so different from his own, are green green green. Like a place he barely remembers. Like a feeling he cannot describe. Like the times he tried to forget. The hues of a kind girl who cries for him even now. 

Sasuke supposes that after a lifetime of bloodshed and carnage and red, the complement of her eyes are a welcome change. 

---

His hospital room is bleached, empty and devoid. Perfect.

Sasuke wants to be a blank canvas. Free from his own gory past that has defined him. Someone who is still pure and untainted like boy Sakura once said she loved. 

Because when Sakura visits, she is the calming greens of a long lost home and the soft pinks of new beginnings. It is blinding and humiliating how he never wants to look away. 

And desperately, Sasuke wants to be reborn as someone who can stand with her. Be with her.  

Because he knows if he reaches out as he is now, his dirty and stained self will just muddy her radiance. 

---

When he leaves for a second time, it is not for vengeance. Not for hatred. Not for fidelity.

Sasuke leaves to become a better person. One who is no longer blinded by wrath and can see the world as it is. Both beautiful and cruel but something worth protecting.  

And when he departs, he cannot help but notice how Sakura’s eyes perfectly complement her rosy cheeks. And Sasuke hopes one day the clan symbol on his back will also be accompanied by the soft pinks of her hair. 

---

His wife and daughter both ironically favor red. His wife’s red is a burning passion. His daughter’s red is an indomitable spirit. 

And his hands are covered in it. 

There is a fear that always grips his heart, how one day they too will be painted in a shade he knows far too well. How that rusty tinge is the perfect companion to the uchiwa on their backs. 

But his wife is a healer. The blood on her hands are from the lives she has saved and will save. The gentle green of her aura and the forest in her eyes soothe the little pieces of his leftover heart.

And although that ugly color lingers on, when his wife intertwines her fingers with his, it is nothing but a memory.

“Mother!”  But she raises her hand to silence him. 

“Sasuke, this is a good opportunity for you and the clan.” 

“What about Aniki?” 

His mother’s face adopts a sour look, not pleased to be interrupted. “Your brother has his own duties. You should only concern yourself with your own.” 

Sasuke tries to protest once again but his mother’s stony features leave no room for argument.

“I’d expect you not to embarrass yourself or the clan,” Her expression is one of usual exasperation at his antics. “Sasuke, it is time for you to grow up.” 

---

Sasuke has always been quite bitter that his brother is allowed to gallivant around the countryside with his band of questionable acquaintances while the responsibilities of their clan are dumped onto him.

And it’s not that he doesn’t want to get married either! Having spent so much of his life devoted to his family’s whims, Sasuke at least wants to choose who he wants to spend his life with. 

Secretly, he quite enjoys the daydreams where he comes home to have a quiet night with the love of his life and what he is sure to be their small squadron of children. 

So Sasuke comes up with a plan.

He supposes if he makes himself an utter unmarriageable fool, this nonsense would be over. Even a name as prestigious as Uchiha would not be enough to secure an engagement if he is the most undesirable human being in the world.

So the day of the marriage interview, he tries to look like the failure his family assumes he is. Sasuke puts on a sweat suit he wore out to training two days ago paired with his sandals and mismatched fuzzy socks. He doesn’t brush his teeth and doesn’t even style his hair. He even spends a few days trying to grow a beard.

Sasuke looks like an absolute disaster. Which is quite a hard thing to do he might add; curse his beautiful face!

He arrives at the casual diner he had chosen feeling confident and clever, because what could be more disappointing to start off a potential marriage than a place he knows has more health violations than he has fingers?

That is until he realizes who his mother managed to set him up with. 

Sakura-chan, beautiful as ever, is sitting in the sticky booth the hostess leads him to with a cup of what he is sure is black coffee. 

Sasuke immediately regrets every life choice he has ever made. He wonders whether activating the Izanami right now would save him from dying of embarrassment. 

A thousand thoughts are running through his head all at once. Is this a joke? What is Sakura-chan doing here? What about Menma? Should he turn around and walk out like nothing happened?

However she glances up at him with those lovely eyes of hers and Sasuke cannot help but blurt out the most pressing thing tumbling around in his short-circuiting brain. 

“I thought you wanted to get married for love?!”

 Not missing a beat, “Good morning to you too, Sasuke. I see you know how to impress a lady.”

Sasuke wonders if he can throw himself out the window.

But his pride dictates that he cannot embarrass himself anymore in front of Konoha’s fairest, so he squares up, grits his teeth, and slides into the booth. 

“Don’t change the subject,” taking in her own outfit. White coat and business casual. So it must be clinic day. “Why are you here Sakura-chan?” 

He cannot think of any reason why Sakura would suddenly want to marry him; Sasuke has always considered the greatest tragedy and irony in his life is the fact that the love of his life does not feel the same way. So he waits for her explanation. 

Sakura, to her credit, always is cool and collected and is logical to a fault. She does not shy away from his questioning facing him directly to answer. 

“Your mother asked me to consider a marriage into the Uchiha clan.” 

Sasuke rolls his eyes, “Just because you two get along doesn’t mean you have to humor her, especially when it comes to getting married!”  

She takes a sip of her coffee, now not quite looking at him. Almost guilty. “She told me that if I married either you or Itachi-san, your clan would back my bid for Hokage.”

Anger bubbles in his stomach. Envy burns down his throat. Betrayal is bitter on his tongue. It is one thing for his mother to meddle in his life, it’s another for Sakura to be so callous as to use his love for power. 

“Why are you meeting me then?”  His brother might be a flighty vagabond, but Itachi is the heir and he is the spare. 

She seems to understand what he is truly asking. “Sasuke, you are a rising star in the Konoha. The people of this village trust you greatly.”

“You can’t stand me.”

“You’re annoying but I don’t hate you.” She smiles sadly, as if enjoying a particularly cruel joke. “I don’t think I could hate you, truly.”

“Sakura-chan, with all due respect, between your father and the Fifth’s recommendation, I don’t think you need my family at all.”  

Sasuke takes a deep calming breath to hide his frustration, trying to act nonchalant, “But if you still want to get hitched Kitten, I’m all for it.” He even throws in a lighthearted wink. 

She ignores his last comment. “My father and Tsunade-shishou are popular with the people, but the council is not fond of either of them. Too peace loving apparently.”

“My family isn’t very popular with the council either.” 

“But the Uchiha clan is one of the oldest clans in Konoha, its influence is enough to convince other families. Enough to over rule the council.” Sakura smiles wryly, “In return, the Uchiha clan will have ties with the Hokage office. Think of it as a strategic alliance.”

This is just like Sakura, cold and calculating. Sasuke does not hate it; her ambitions are part of her charm.

“What’s in it for me then?”

“If you do accept, your parents would be satisfied you are an upstanding, successful citizen and will no longer have any right prying in your affairs.” 

He doubts that it would stop them but allows her to continue, “I also don’t plan to…interfere with your extramarital activities.” Sasuke begins to feel a sense of dread as Sakura continues, “A marriage of convenience if you will.” 

This is his boiling point and he finds himself shouting. 

“No, it’s a sham! How you could have completely given up on love?!” 

Sakura is a woman who has always been loved shallowly and one can only be the object of admiration for long before realizing  it’s only empty reverence. The one thing she always craved is the unconditional love she lost so long ago along when her parents passed.  Sasuke cannot believe Sakura can give up that so easily. 

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand anything Charasuke!” She is now equally angry, “Do you think I want to use my husband’s name to get the Hokage’s seat!? How everything I’ve spent my life working for amounts to nothing in the eyes of the council?! ”

“It doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own happiness for this!” Because even now, even though his affections for her are unyielding and painful and true, he just wants her to be happy. 

To find love and be loved, even if it isn’t with him.

“I’m running out of time!” She is shaking now, in anger, in frustration, in a hopelessness Sasuke has never seen. “Tsunade -shishou told me that the council is considering making Menma the Hokage after she retires.”

“Menma? What? He can barely carry conversation!” And he is impulsive. Just as likely to start a war as he is to end it. 

Sakura looks sick, “Menma has a strong shinobi, but that’s all he is. He is not suited for politics. He only knows how to end conflicts with shows of strength.”

“Do you really think that Menma will actually accept the position?” Because regardless of their disagreements, Menma is still his best friend. Menma isn’t the type to seek power wantonly. 

“Maybe, maybe not. But he is now married to the Hyuuga family. And you know how easily he can be influenced.”

Sasuke wants to defend his friend’s honor but he admits she has a point.

“So when your mother came to me about this...I don’t know I just thought this might be my only chance. 

I know this is unfair to you, which is why we can just pretend to be a married couple in name only. You are under no obligation to change your ways Sasuke.”  

Sakura is resigned to her fate to a supposedly loveless marriage and Sasuke hates it. 

“But I cannot let Menma and the council turn this village into a battlefield. I cannot let them ruin my parent’s legacy.” 

This is insane. It’s not right. She may be the logical one, but he has always been the romantic. 

This is not at all how he imagines their life together would be. 

Sakura takes in his uncharacteristic silence as the end of the conversation and gathers her things. 

“You don’t have to answer me right now, just think about it.” And with that she departs, leaving him alone in the booth. 

---

Sasuke has always pretended that his family’s obvious favoritism and Sakura’s indifference towards him, never bothered him. 

He distracts himself with pretty girls and pretty flowers. But really, he just does not have the courage to face the reality of being the fallback and second place. 

That no matter what he does or how hard he works, he will never measure up to the Uchiha’s prodigal son or even his best friend. 

He just wants someone to look at him and only him.

And maybe that's why he has always been so drawn to Sakura, the daughter of fallen heroes. 

Because maybe she just also wanted someone to see her tears. To realize what was underneath her facade. 

The pretty girl who cries when she is alone so she doesn’t bother anyone else, yet in front of the rest of the world is the image of stunning grace and confidence. Who heals him when he bleeds and listens to him when he cannot bear the expectations of his family anymore. 

He admires her bravery. He falls for her kindness. 

Sasuke loves her, he has for a long time. 

He wonders if she knows this. 

And so that’s why he is waiting outside the clinic later that afternoon, in his best clothes, clean shaven, with a bouquet of lavender flowers. 

No more pretenses. 

He will give her his name, the world, and their marriage will be anything but loveless. He will make sure of it.