#ssm20d30

---

They don’t hold hands. Not really. 

Sasuke has never been a proponent of public displays of affection and Naruto finds it to be a great insult on her behalf. 

“You two are acting the same as always,” Naruto berates Sasuke one day as they all are having dinner. “How are we all even supposed to know you two are dating?

Taking offense to the comment, Sasuke hisses back “We’re not dating. We are courting.”

“What’s the difference?! It’s the same thing!”

“You’re an idiot.” 

“And you don’t know how to romance a lady!”

The two continue to argue loudly until Sai informs them that management is unhappy with the noise level and considering kicking them out. Hero status notwithstanding

---

When they were younger, Sakura took great pride in being one of the few allowed to touch her beloved Sasuke-kun. Normally he rejects any shows of affection and comfort, especially if they involve hugs and hand holding and touching of any kind. 

Although he never did quite look happy when she wraps her arms around his middle or hooks their arms together or when she cries over him when she thinks she lost him, Sasuke doesn’t quite shake her off either. 

In fact, there are even times when Sakura thinks those stray touches have a deeper meaning. Their intertwined hands in a dark forest. The desperate embrace during his descent into madness. His arm catching her before she falls. 

Things are different now. Sakura doesn’t quite love him like she used to and Sasuke doesn’t really hate her as much as he claimed. And they are so weak for each other. 

Now when Sakura grasps his hand, threading their fingers like a promise, he smiles so softly at her. It makes Sakura fall a little more. 

---

Except there are times, more often than not, she notices that Sasuke isn’t at ease as he seems. 

He grits his teeth when they shop hand in hand at the market. Sweat drips from his brow, his breathing quickens, and his grip on her hand tightens whenever someone approaches too close. There is a slight trembling in their clasped hands whenever someone stops to talk with them on the streets.

He accepts her hand and her arms and her affection, but Sakura knows he is uncomfortable. He always has been a private man and she feels guilty for forcing him out of his comfort zone. She worries that due to his never ending penitence, he feels he has to indulge her.

So Sakura tries to reduce the amount of times they touch each other in public. She makes sure to stand at a respectable distance, hoping to ease his anxiety even just a bit.

Perhaps that’s why Naruto complains about Sasuke’s aloofness. Or why Ino wonders how he is still so cold to her. Or why Kakashi sometimes looks at them with pity. 

To the outside world, that’s what it must look like. A foolish girl in love with a heartless man. 

It hurts to not be able to express her love, but she loves him enough to compromise her desires for his comfort. 

Yet, away from prying eyes, Sasuke is more receptive. He actively seeks out her embrace. Her hands, her lips, her love. He holds her closer and closer still.

So when he asks if she would leave with him, Sakura knows it will be good for them. Things will be different. 

---

Sasuke is not much better even with the scenery change. 

When they are on the road, Sasuke is still on edge. He tenses when she reaches for him. He jumps when she extends her arm.  He clutches his sword a bit tighter when she draws near. 

Yet sometimes, when the night is so quiet it seems like they are only ones in the universe, he inches closer and closer still until they are one. 

She finds herself feeling disappointed hoping that being away, from Konoha, from expectation, from everyone, would change things. 

Sakura does not understand. And all she ever wanted was to understand him. 

---

The ambush had been a surprise but hardly a battle for their combined skill. A few thieves on the road are nothing compared to what they have already seen. The highwaymen are quickly apprehended and left with the nearest officials. 

Despite this Sasuke throws himself forward as vanguard, first to engage. Afterwards he brushes her off, never meeting her eyes or responding to her concerned inquiries. When she reaches for his only hand, he all but snatches it away, horrified. 

“You know I could have taken them.” she tells him after they make camp as he methodically wipes the blood from his sword. “I am perfectly capable of fighting, you don’t have to jump in front every time.” 

Sasuke continues cleaning his weapon, “It’s not like that.” 

“Then what? Why are you acting like this?”

Sakura is frustrated. It’s one thing to be protected, it’s another thing to not be trusted to protect herself. And the weeks and weeks of his hot and cold attitude, she finally reaches her limit. 

She sits down across from him seething and does not speak to him the rest of the day. 

----

As they settle in for the night, she senses Sasuke lying down next to her in their makeshift tent. She is facing away from him and he turns to her. Sakura is aware of the heat radiating from him like an imploding sun.

Then slowly, ever so softly, he reaches for her. 

His fingertips barely brush against the back of her shirt before he clutches the fabric between the tips of his fingers. Sakura almost believes she is imagining it if not for the slight trembling of his only hand.

For a long time they are still. The only sound permeating the tent is the night outside and the synchronization of their breathing. 

Eventually Sakura turns to face him, the only man she’s ever loved. She brushes his hand away from her shirt. Sasuke is startled by her sudden movement, but when she intertwines their fingers he relaxes. He brings their connected hands to lips as a silent token of gratitude. 

Sakura notices that the trembling still hasn’t subsided. 

This time she reaches for him. Her other hand cups his cheek and brings him close until their foreheads touch.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Sasuke-kun, it’s…” but he cuts her off. 

“I trust you, I do. I just...” There is a faraway look in his eyes. “I have only one.” He squeezes their clasped hands. 

She already knows about his qualms about a prosthetic arm. He had told her once upon a time ago that he didn’t deserve it. It is both a reminder of his sins and a testament to his atonement. 

“If I couldn’t protect you because I was…” she follows his gaze to the shape of their connected palms, “Distracted.”

There is a long silence, “If something were to happen to you, I don’t think I could forgive myself.”

---

The next morning when they set off, Sakura grabs his empty sleeve. She wraps it loosely around her wrist as if they are bound together. 

This is her new oath

Sasuke is surprised but does not try to shake her off. Sakura raises her opposite hand and clenches it into a fist. 

“If something happens, I’m sure we can take them one hand behind our backs! Together” 

And the way he smiles afterwards is so gentle makes her fall for him a bit more. 

--- 

Sarada unsurprisingly starts to learn to walk much quicker than her parents  initially anticipated. 

Sakura watches with amusement as their daughter attempts to stand using Sasuke’s pant leg as purchase. Her husband is very patient and always carefully helps Sarada back up when she loses balance. He murmurs words of encouragement that Sarada doesn’t understand but nevertheless welcomes. 

Eventually, Sarada grows tired of just standing and attempts to take her first step. Unfortunately she overestimates her gross motor control and starts to topple forward. Her father catches her before she falls. 

Not deterred, Sarada tries again. This time with her using her father’s hand for balance. 

As she takes another step, Sakura takes her daughter’s other hand. Sarada takes another step. Her husband glances over at her, but she finds instead of a tense gaze it is one of contentment. 

And the Uchiha family walk together hand in hand, one small step at a time.