After all it is one thing to forget his child’s face, but another to forget his wife. Even though it hurts to think that she mattered very little, Sasuke Uchiha hasn’t seen his daughter in years so the logical part of her understands if he cannot place the girl she is now with the small child he left behind. 

Sarada decides forgetting his wife is much more unforgivable. Mama still speaks of her estranged husband with so much affection whereas his own were supposedly subjective at best. Her mama shouldn’t be kept waiting for a man who would never return. 

It is as if leaving never affected him. As if in the grand scheme of things, his little family barely registered. 

Yet, when Sarada watches her father gently help her mama up after her battle, her clenches for a different reason. 

---

Upon her father’s return, there is noticeable change to her mama. 

Suddenly there is a bit more spring in her step. Mama smiles more readily. Her laugh is a bit more carefree. 

Mama flutters around. Always blushing, always flustered, and spoiling her husband rotten. She gets tongue-tied when her husband addresses her softly and glows with a faint radiance when he clasps her hand. 

To be honest, Sarada thinks it is kind of cute how her mother is still acting like a maiden in love rather than a woman who had been married for years. As if everyday her mama is falling in love all over again. 

Although Sarada does not know her father as well as she would have liked, there is an obvious difference in his behavior at home compared to the man she met on the road. 

He is still just as aloof and just as reserved, but a bit more relaxed. He lets mama lean on his shoulder and brushes the hair out her face and dotes on her mother quietly. Her father even listens with rapt attention as her mama chatters away about this and that and gossip he has no interest in. 

Her papa is much softer when he is with her mother. And Sarada can see just how much Mama means to him.

At that moment Sarada does not want her papa to leave again. 

There is just something beautiful about her parent’s relationship. How despite distance and time and everything in between, their love never wavers. 

And it angers her that her mama and her papa have to be satisfied only with these small moments.

Yet in these stolen moments, where her papa and her mama sit side by side and the world around them melts away, her heart clenches. 

She cannot help but smile. 

--- 

It turns out, no one in the Uchiha household is a morning person. 

When Sarada shuffles into the kitchen much too early to be humanly awake, she is surprised to find her father equally as bleary-eyed already in the kitchen. 

He is standing in front of the coffee pot, glaring at the machine as if personally offended by the contraption. When the bubbling stops, he pulls a thermos out of the cupboard and empties the entire pot.

Sarada watches as he adds cream and an unhealthy amount of sugar. Her papa takes a small sip and before screwing on the lid. She isn’t sure if it’s because it’s too early or just a trick of light but Papa winces in disgust 

Papa then moves to the rice cooker and begins to make packed lunches.

Mama comes stumbling a few minutes later. “Oh my gosh, I’m so late!” She scrambles to find her ID badge and stethoscope.

“I’ll see you two later!” Her Mama kisses her forehead and pecks her husband’s cheek before rushing to the door. 

Papa catches her at the entryway as she is on her way out. He hands her a piece of toast, the bento he had just finished making, and the thermos on the counter. 

Her mama’s cheeks flush and she stutters a quiet thank you. Papa wishes her a nice day and ushers her out the door. 

When Papa returns to the kitchen, he finds Sarada is sitting at the table smiling coyly. 

“What.”

“Oh nothing Papa.” His reddening ears only make her smile wider.

“Mother!”  But she raises her hand to silence him. 

“Sasuke, this is a good opportunity for you and the clan.” 

“What about Aniki?” 

His mother’s face adopts a sour look, not pleased to be interrupted. “Your brother has his own duties. You should only concern yourself with your own.” 

Sasuke tries to protest once again but his mother’s stony features leave no room for argument.

“I’d expect you not to embarrass yourself or the clan,” Her expression is one of usual exasperation at his antics. “Sasuke, it is time for you to grow up.” 

---

Sasuke has always been quite bitter that his brother is allowed to gallivant around the countryside with his band of questionable acquaintances while the responsibilities of their clan are dumped onto him.

And it’s not that he doesn’t want to get married either! Having spent so much of his life devoted to his family’s whims, Sasuke at least wants to choose who he wants to spend his life with. 

Secretly, he quite enjoys the daydreams where he comes home to have a quiet night with the love of his life and what he is sure to be their small squadron of children. 

So Sasuke comes up with a plan.

He supposes if he makes himself an utter unmarriageable fool, this nonsense would be over. Even a name as prestigious as Uchiha would not be enough to secure an engagement if he is the most undesirable human being in the world.

So the day of the marriage interview, he tries to look like the failure his family assumes he is. Sasuke puts on a sweat suit he wore out to training two days ago paired with his sandals and mismatched fuzzy socks. He doesn’t brush his teeth and doesn’t even style his hair. He even spends a few days trying to grow a beard.

Sasuke looks like an absolute disaster. Which is quite a hard thing to do he might add; curse his beautiful face!

He arrives at the casual diner he had chosen feeling confident and clever, because what could be more disappointing to start off a potential marriage than a place he knows has more health violations than he has fingers?

That is until he realizes who his mother managed to set him up with. 

Sakura-chan, beautiful as ever, is sitting in the sticky booth the hostess leads him to with a cup of what he is sure is black coffee. 

Sasuke immediately regrets every life choice he has ever made. He wonders whether activating the Izanami right now would save him from dying of embarrassment. 

A thousand thoughts are running through his head all at once. Is this a joke? What is Sakura-chan doing here? What about Menma? Should he turn around and walk out like nothing happened?

However she glances up at him with those lovely eyes of hers and Sasuke cannot help but blurt out the most pressing thing tumbling around in his short-circuiting brain. 

“I thought you wanted to get married for love?!”

 Not missing a beat, “Good morning to you too, Sasuke. I see you know how to impress a lady.”

Sasuke wonders if he can throw himself out the window.

But his pride dictates that he cannot embarrass himself anymore in front of Konoha’s fairest, so he squares up, grits his teeth, and slides into the booth. 

“Don’t change the subject,” taking in her own outfit. White coat and business casual. So it must be clinic day. “Why are you here Sakura-chan?” 

He cannot think of any reason why Sakura would suddenly want to marry him; Sasuke has always considered the greatest tragedy and irony in his life is the fact that the love of his life does not feel the same way. So he waits for her explanation. 

Sakura, to her credit, always is cool and collected and is logical to a fault. She does not shy away from his questioning facing him directly to answer. 

“Your mother asked me to consider a marriage into the Uchiha clan.” 

Sasuke rolls his eyes, “Just because you two get along doesn’t mean you have to humor her, especially when it comes to getting married!”  

She takes a sip of her coffee, now not quite looking at him. Almost guilty. “She told me that if I married either you or Itachi-san, your clan would back my bid for Hokage.”

Anger bubbles in his stomach. Envy burns down his throat. Betrayal is bitter on his tongue. It is one thing for his mother to meddle in his life, it’s another for Sakura to be so callous as to use his love for power. 

“Why are you meeting me then?”  His brother might be a flighty vagabond, but Itachi is the heir and he is the spare. 

She seems to understand what he is truly asking. “Sasuke, you are a rising star in the Konoha. The people of this village trust you greatly.”

“You can’t stand me.”

“You’re annoying but I don’t hate you.” She smiles sadly, as if enjoying a particularly cruel joke. “I don’t think I could hate you, truly.”

“Sakura-chan, with all due respect, between your father and the Fifth’s recommendation, I don’t think you need my family at all.”  

Sasuke takes a deep calming breath to hide his frustration, trying to act nonchalant, “But if you still want to get hitched Kitten, I’m all for it.” He even throws in a lighthearted wink. 

She ignores his last comment. “My father and Tsunade-shishou are popular with the people, but the council is not fond of either of them. Too peace loving apparently.”

“My family isn’t very popular with the council either.” 

“But the Uchiha clan is one of the oldest clans in Konoha, its influence is enough to convince other families. Enough to over rule the council.” Sakura smiles wryly, “In return, the Uchiha clan will have ties with the Hokage office. Think of it as a strategic alliance.”

This is just like Sakura, cold and calculating. Sasuke does not hate it; her ambitions are part of her charm.

“What’s in it for me then?”

“If you do accept, your parents would be satisfied you are an upstanding, successful citizen and will no longer have any right prying in your affairs.” 

He doubts that it would stop them but allows her to continue, “I also don’t plan to…interfere with your extramarital activities.” Sasuke begins to feel a sense of dread as Sakura continues, “A marriage of convenience if you will.” 

This is his boiling point and he finds himself shouting. 

“No, it’s a sham! How you could have completely given up on love?!” 

Sakura is a woman who has always been loved shallowly and one can only be the object of admiration for long before realizing  it’s only empty reverence. The one thing she always craved is the unconditional love she lost so long ago along when her parents passed.  Sasuke cannot believe Sakura can give up that so easily. 

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand anything Charasuke!” She is now equally angry, “Do you think I want to use my husband’s name to get the Hokage’s seat!? How everything I’ve spent my life working for amounts to nothing in the eyes of the council?! ”

“It doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own happiness for this!” Because even now, even though his affections for her are unyielding and painful and true, he just wants her to be happy. 

To find love and be loved, even if it isn’t with him.

“I’m running out of time!” She is shaking now, in anger, in frustration, in a hopelessness Sasuke has never seen. “Tsunade -shishou told me that the council is considering making Menma the Hokage after she retires.”

“Menma? What? He can barely carry conversation!” And he is impulsive. Just as likely to start a war as he is to end it. 

Sakura looks sick, “Menma has a strong shinobi, but that’s all he is. He is not suited for politics. He only knows how to end conflicts with shows of strength.”

“Do you really think that Menma will actually accept the position?” Because regardless of their disagreements, Menma is still his best friend. Menma isn’t the type to seek power wantonly. 

“Maybe, maybe not. But he is now married to the Hyuuga family. And you know how easily he can be influenced.”

Sasuke wants to defend his friend’s honor but he admits she has a point.

“So when your mother came to me about this...I don’t know I just thought this might be my only chance. 

I know this is unfair to you, which is why we can just pretend to be a married couple in name only. You are under no obligation to change your ways Sasuke.”  

Sakura is resigned to her fate to a supposedly loveless marriage and Sasuke hates it. 

“But I cannot let Menma and the council turn this village into a battlefield. I cannot let them ruin my parent’s legacy.” 

This is insane. It’s not right. She may be the logical one, but he has always been the romantic. 

This is not at all how he imagines their life together would be. 

Sakura takes in his uncharacteristic silence as the end of the conversation and gathers her things. 

“You don’t have to answer me right now, just think about it.” And with that she departs, leaving him alone in the booth. 

---

Sasuke has always pretended that his family’s obvious favoritism and Sakura’s indifference towards him, never bothered him. 

He distracts himself with pretty girls and pretty flowers. But really, he just does not have the courage to face the reality of being the fallback and second place. 

That no matter what he does or how hard he works, he will never measure up to the Uchiha’s prodigal son or even his best friend. 

He just wants someone to look at him and only him.

And maybe that's why he has always been so drawn to Sakura, the daughter of fallen heroes. 

Because maybe she just also wanted someone to see her tears. To realize what was underneath her facade. 

The pretty girl who cries when she is alone so she doesn’t bother anyone else, yet in front of the rest of the world is the image of stunning grace and confidence. Who heals him when he bleeds and listens to him when he cannot bear the expectations of his family anymore. 

He admires her bravery. He falls for her kindness. 

Sasuke loves her, he has for a long time. 

He wonders if she knows this. 

And so that’s why he is waiting outside the clinic later that afternoon, in his best clothes, clean shaven, with a bouquet of lavender flowers. 

No more pretenses. 

He will give her his name, the world, and their marriage will be anything but loveless. He will make sure of it.

He grabs the nearest thing he can get his hands on. The darkness of the house makes it difficult to see, but whatever he grasps in his hands is hard and solid. 

He quietly descends until he can see the shadowy intruder in between the panes of moonlight filtering through the windows.

And he swings. 

Sasuke feels a satisfying crack as his makeshift weapon makes contact. 

And he continues to smash whoever or whatever it is until it stops moving. 

---

Sasuke is very proud of his house. 

It is built on old Uchiha lands on the outskirts of Konoha. Originally, the old dilapidated Uchiha manor was torn down to make room for urban development but for some reason the plans fell through. 

When he hears that the plot was back on the market, he knows it’s a sign.

He builds the new house from the ground up, a testament to new beginnings and fresh starts.

It is modest but spacious. Sakura berates him; there is too much room for a family of almost three. Sasuke assures her that the plethora of rooms is an investment for their future children. Sakura lightly smacks his arm, telling him that they should wait for the birth of their first before worrying about others. 

He doesn’t have too many memories about his ancestral home; there are vague recollections of his mother singing in the kitchen, of quiet days with his father on the lakeshore, of his brother before everything went wrong. 

Sasuke wants his new family to also experience those halcyon days that still remain so fondly in his heart, only if it is partly to relive those nostalgic days,

---

Sasuke awakens to the sound of glass breaking. 

It is midday. He must have dozed off while waiting for Sakura and Sarada to return from their impromptu trip to the park. Or was it the grocery store. He cannot quite remember. 

There is an indescribable rage when he sees the glass shards littering the carpet of the den. His head is pounding. What if Sarada had been home? What if Sakura had been in the room?

He stalks to the front door and throws it open, slamming it against the brickwork splintering the eggshell paint he had so carefully picked out with his wife. 

From the distance, two teenagers are aiming rocks at his home. 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?”

To their credit the two teenagers do look shocked and somewhat frightened, but neither of them put down the stones in their hands. 

Perhaps his reaction is a bit much, but he has to protect his family. 

Seeing red, Sasuke picks up one of the flower pots on their porch and hurls it as hard as he can at the teens. 

They scream and scatter. 

He cannot help but feel satisfied at their retreating figures. 

---

Sasuke is roused from his sleep by the heavy footsteps outside.

He rolls out of bed with an annoying headache which does not help his mood. Descending downstairs, Sasuke checks each window in the house, trying to locate the source of the noise he heard. 

Finally from the large living room window, he spots what appears to be a handyman inspecting the pipes in the backyard. 

This could be just a routine scheduled inspection. Or perhaps Sakura had called a plumber or something while he was sleeping. He does not remember if she told him about it, but he is never that coherent after waking up. 

Regardless, Sasuke does not want to lose sight of this man, so he stands by the window watching. Sarada is sleeping and his wife must be tired from being up all night, so he needs to make sure this handyman does make too much noise. 

After a few minutes, the man outside seems to realize that there is something watching him. When he looks up, the man spots Sasuke at the window and immediately freezes. 

Sasuke waves so the man knows that he is there, making sure he does try anything funny. After all, the rest of his family is resting. He doesn’t not want to disturb them. He needs to make sure this man is not a threat. 

Surprisingly, the handyman screams. He bolts out of the yard. 

Sasuke moves from the living room to the hall to observe the man running for his truck. The handy man takes one last look back, however still seeing Sasuke at the window, all but scrambles into the vehicle before peeling out of the driveway. 

Sasuke is annoyed at the noise but a bit of pride wells up in his chest for expelling an interloper. 

---

Sasuke groggily opens his eyes. 

Someone is weeping. 

Slowly he gets up, bones creaking from the stiff position he was napping in and follows the sounds of the sobbing. When he rounds the corner, he finds Sakura standing by the coffee table. 

A chill runs through him when he realizes she is the one crying. He hates when she cries. Sakura is clutching a framed photograph. Their wedding picture. 

Her tears are flowing freely and falling onto the table top. He notices the wood has become a bit damaged, as if something heavy had fallen on it with great force. Sasuke makes a mental note to have it fixed later.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. He places his hands on her shoulders to comfort her which only causes her to sob harder. 

Sakura is saying something, but he cannot make out gargled words between her tears. It sounds almost like halfway between an apology and a question.

“What’s wrong Sakura?” he tries again. Sasuke needs to know what he did wrong. 

Sasuke waits patiently for her answer.

But Sakura continues to mourn.

---

The sound of Sakura’s voice wakes him up. 

Venturing downstairs, he is surprised to see another person at that doorway. She is dressed in a suit with a shiny realtor badge. 

Sakura looks reluctant, but his wife is also kind so she lets this woman inside anyways. Sakura gives the woman a tour, making sure to point out the highlights of the house. 

The realtor is impressed, as she should be. “Mrs. Uchiha, this house would fetch quite a price on the market, you would make a small fortune! No time like the present!”

Sakura laughs nervously, obviously uncomfortable. 

When Sakura rushes upstairs to grab something, he decides it is time to make his presence known. 

“Get out.”

The woman flinches, terrified. 

“This house is not for sale.” 

He smiles when the woman runs for the door. 

---

Sakura returns this time with another person he does not recognize. 

She really needs to start warning him about potential guests. Sasuke knows he can be pretty unapproachable, especially after just waking up, but for his wife he tries to be on his best behavior. 

The new woman is younger than the last person Sakura brought; on the cusp of adulthood but still a bit of baby fat in her cheeks. She wears red glasses and has her dark hair styled in a short bob, not unlike his wife’s. 

The young woman and Sakura are chatting in the living room. Sakura is happily pointing at dusty knick knacks around the house. The young woman nods along, occasionally adding a comment which makes Sakura laugh.

The young woman doesn’t seem like a threat. Sasuke figures he should at least be a good host. Perhaps he should get refreshments? Or should he introduce himself first? He was never really good with pleasantries and socializing. 

While deep in thought, Sakura and the young woman have now moved to the hallway near the staircase where he stands. They don’t seem to have noticed him yet. 

Sasuke is about to greet them when the young woman asks. “Mama, why are there so many rooms in this house?” 

He is confused. 

Sakura chuckles softly, sadly “Well your papa, told me it was an investment.”

“Was he planning on having an entire soccer team?” She wriggles her eyebrows and Sakura giggles. 

“No, I think he was just so excited to start a family, he went a bit overboard.” 

“I’ll say, this place has 5 more bathrooms!”

“That is just how he is. Always going overboard!”

 Lost by the conversation, Sasuke unknowingly takes a step back. The old staircase creaks, causing Sakura and Sarada to look up. 

“What was that?” 

“Well they did say this place is haunted.” 

“Sarada.” Sasuke can tell even from this distance that his wife is about to cry. He wants to comfort her, but she is looking right past him. 

“Sorry,” there is still a guilty look on Sarada’s face, “I’m sure it was nothing.”

---

He remembers now. 

There was something in the house. His singular goal; to protect his wife and child no matter what. A struggle. Pain and darkness. 

Yet, how long has it been since that night? Why is he unable to piece together the details of today? His head feels like it is about to split.

But Sakura and Sarada are okay. They are alive, well, and healthy; that’s all that matters. He can rest now. Sakura can answer his questions in the morning. He can catch up with Sarada when he wakes up.

As he falls back asleep, he can’t help but feel victorious.

---

When he pulls his hand out of Naruto’s chest, he can’t help but feel a solemn sadness enveloping him. Watching his only friend, almost brother, bleeding out and fading away. 

But he is also giddy. He wants to smile. He wants to laugh. It bubbles up from the depths of his heart.  Because the color on his hands is the same as Itachi’s.

There is power crackling beneath the curses he now bears. There is a chance for vengeance. 

And soon, it will be his brother’s blood between his fingers. 

---

His eyes remember everything. 

So the memory of his brother, falling to the ground painted in the colors of his family, are burned into Sasuke’s weary spirit.

He remembers later that even his tears are dyed in crimson. 

----

In place of his arm is a splatter broken bones and muscle fibers and torn sinew. He wonders if after all of Naruto’s efforts he will die here anyways. 

It is a fitting end for a lost man whose vision has always been shrouded in a violent rage.  

But Sakura is here and she does not let him die. 

Her chakra is calming. Her eyes, so different from his own, are green green green. Like a place he barely remembers. Like a feeling he cannot describe. Like the times he tried to forget. The hues of a kind girl who cries for him even now. 

Sasuke supposes that after a lifetime of bloodshed and carnage and red, the complement of her eyes are a welcome change. 

---

His hospital room is bleached, empty and devoid. Perfect.

Sasuke wants to be a blank canvas. Free from his own gory past that has defined him. Someone who is still pure and untainted like boy Sakura once said she loved. 

Because when Sakura visits, she is the calming greens of a long lost home and the soft pinks of new beginnings. It is blinding and humiliating how he never wants to look away. 

And desperately, Sasuke wants to be reborn as someone who can stand with her. Be with her.  

Because he knows if he reaches out as he is now, his dirty and stained self will just muddy her radiance. 

---

When he leaves for a second time, it is not for vengeance. Not for hatred. Not for fidelity.

Sasuke leaves to become a better person. One who is no longer blinded by wrath and can see the world as it is. Both beautiful and cruel but something worth protecting.  

And when he departs, he cannot help but notice how Sakura’s eyes perfectly complement her rosy cheeks. And Sasuke hopes one day the clan symbol on his back will also be accompanied by the soft pinks of her hair. 

---

His wife and daughter both ironically favor red. His wife’s red is a burning passion. His daughter’s red is an indomitable spirit. 

And his hands are covered in it. 

There is a fear that always grips his heart, how one day they too will be painted in a shade he knows far too well. How that rusty tinge is the perfect companion to the uchiwa on their backs. 

But his wife is a healer. The blood on her hands are from the lives she has saved and will save. The gentle green of her aura and the forest in her eyes soothe the little pieces of his leftover heart.

And although that ugly color lingers on, when his wife intertwines her fingers with his, it is nothing but a memory.

---

During  his regular check ins, Naruto grumbles that he needs to stay in contact more often. The Hokage waves his arms around in a way that is supposed to be threatening and berates him on proper reconnaissance protocol. “And Sakura-chan is lonely with you gone so long!” he adds in at the end of his tirade.

Sasuke scoffs because that idiot is the last person to be talking to him about protocol with his noodle stained shirt and toppling mountains of paperwork. And he can't help but feel a bit insulted by the implication that his self imposed gag order included Sakura.

She is his wife. His beloved partner and his most trusted confidante. Even if it was technically not related to his mission, he keeps contact with her regularly without fail. Sasuke has never been as good as expressing himself as well as he should, but he knows that Sakura in her endless patience found a way to understand him.

---

Sometimes, Kakashi invites him to lunch.

It is always slightly awkward and spent more often than not in silence. Or in uncomfortable one-sided conversation about erotica.

But at the end of every meal, Kakashi claps him on the shoulder, telling him to not be a stranger with a chuckle. But the laugh never quite reaches his eyes.

“Remember you always have a home here.” Kakashi tells him. 

---

At times, Sarada is overjoyed when he comes back. She attaches herself to his side and chatters about nonsensical things that reminds Sasuke of his wife.

But sometimes, Sarada is cold.

She is stand-offish and acts as if he committed another unforgivable sin. She makes snide comments about leaving mama by herself and scathing comments about forgetting his daughter’s face.  

Perhaps this is a rebellious phase? Children grow up fast Sakura tells him.  And who is he to question her?

---

It is subtle, almost unnoticeable. But there are times at home when things are slightly off.

The apartment always seems to be in need of some repair. Every time he seems to even blink, a new piece of technology seems too occupy their living room mantle. And there are no calendars in the house.

In hindsight, he is sure that Sakura is the first to notice. But Sasuke is a boiling frog and he doesn’t realize until it’s too late.

He should have figured from the relief in her eyes whenever he returns home. Or on the quiet nights when she holds his hand so tight as if he will disappear. He should have noticed from the desperation in her kisses. He should have seen it in the falter of her smile.

And then Sakura starts hiding her appearance.

At first, Sakura brushes it off as a bad haircut she is too embarrassed to show others. Then it’s a particularly bad sunburn. After that an allergic reaction to a lotion from Ino gifted her.

He tries to not let it bother him. But with every progressive visit home, the stronger the illusions Sakura wraps herself in. 

He feels like he has not seen his wife in ages.

Until, one day on an unexpected stop home, he catches an unfamiliar middle aged woman in his home. This woman attempts to cast her genjutsu as soon as she notices him but his eyes are quicker. Sasuke dispels the illusion, striding forward until they are face to face.

He reaches out to her but she flinches back. The woman immediately starts apologizing, but Sasuke in between the roaring in his ears and the constricting of his throat, cannot make sense of her ramblings. However in the midst of her panic and his confusion, he does recognize the seal on Sakura’s forehead.

And for him, the pieces finally start falling into place.

So Sasuke asks the question that he has been dreading but never acknowledging, “How long have I been gone?”

---

The further he travels, the more time passes. It is simple physics. It is the law of the universe.

The remnants of Kaguya are far in between and past distant suns. His Rinnegan, his wife theorizes, is like a blackhole connecting two points, compressing space and time in a way that cuts across the cosmos.

Sasuke is a shooting star in the grand scheme of things, where great distances are crossed in a blink of his eye while all he cares about on earth is spinning madly on without him.

He watches as Sakura carefully aligns the hundreds of letters and messages and gifts he sent in the order she receives them.

Sasuke picks up the last correspondence, two weeks ago for him but half a year for Sakura. After a long time when he can finally keep his voice from trembling, he asks “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just didn’t know how to tell you.” Sasuke has never seen Sakura look so ashamed. She covers her face to hide from him but her tears still fall silently. “It would have just caused you more pain.”

“And keeping this from me wouldn’t?!” He is shaking and his Sharingan bleeding. He feels the familiar sting of betrayal. Because of all people, his wife is the person he trusts the most.

But Sakura, despite her tears, speaks calmly. Determined. Resigned. She still does not look at him and he cannot see anything else but her. “If you had known...” she is shaking too now. “If you had known dear, that this would happen every time you go.... Would you still leave?”

And both husband and wife know his answer.

---

A presence like Kaguya’s cannot be tolerated. Even if he cannot watch Sarada grow up. Even if cannot be by Sakura’s side. As long as they are safe in a corner of the universe, Sasuke is willing to sacrifice anything.

It is a habit now to check the date when he returns.

Sometimes only a few weeks have passed. Other times, months have elapsed. But regardless, Sasuke tries to return as much as possible if only for his own sanity. 

Those visits home reinforce what he is fighting for. He wants to protect the place his brother died for. He wants to help Naruto who saved him. He wants a world where Sakura can smile and where Sarada no longer has to fight.  

But most of all, in the darkest most fragile part of his heart, he knows that in reality he just can not bear losing anyone else.  

And eventually, the Seventh Hokage informs him that the last visages of Kaguya are discovered in the depths of a lost faraway planet. The final nail in her coffin.

It breaks his heart to tell his family.

There is no telling when he will return, if he returns at all. And judging by the distance, Sasuke isn’t even sure anyone will be left to return to.

It is a selfish thing for him to ask of her. He should be wishing for her happiness; he should be freeing her from being chained to him. But he asks anyways, because even if it is a lie, Sasuke needs a reason to endure.  A quiet request. A promise.

“Will you wait for me?”

Sasuke desperately wants a home to return to and to him, Sakura has always encompassed that feeling.

---

The next time he returns, his mission is complete and it has been a decade since Sarada’s face has been carved onto the mountain.

Sakura’s hair is gray now and her vision is blurry. She has wrinkles under her eyes and her once strong hands are withered.

They are separated by a lifetime now.

I’m home.

“Sakura, I’m sorry for everything.”

But she still smiles for him like she always does. Like she did when they were young and so hopeful for the future. “Welcome home Sasuke-kun.”

---

Nowadays, Sasuke Uchiha is nothing but ghost story. More legend than man and more cautionary tale than hero.

And nowadays, man slightly younger than the Hokage accompanies Sakura Uchiha.

No one knows where he comes from, just that he appears one day and immediately worms himself into the heart of the Uchiha matriarch.

On the good days, the villagers watch the young man walk side by side with the aging woman. Sakura Uchiha speaks more animatedly than she has in years and the young man smiles tenderly at her as if she is the only person in the world.

Some villagers click their tongues in disapproval. They raise issue with the Hokage about how this swindler is taking advantage of the affections of poor old woman. The old woman’s years of loneliness has made her susceptible to his gold digger’s charms.

Others pity Sakura Uchiha. She is a woman from such a humble background who rose the ranks and accomplished  so much only to be abandoned by the man she loved. Even if it was unorthodox, they wanted the old woman to have a bit of happiness.

But Sarada Uchiha dismisses these rumors and speculations with a sad smile, merely telling her bothersome citizens to leave the couple alone and let them live in peace.

And this man, who comes out of nowhere like a lone meteor, stays by Sakura Uchiha’s side until the end of her days.

Kakashi is exhausted after every skirmish. Naruto is beaten black and blue more often than not. And Sasuke is forced to embrace his darkest impulses just for survival. 

And Sakura stands at the sidelines. Useless. Helpless. Not strong enough to join the fray. But too scared to lose anyone. 

So she resolves to become someone they can rely on. Unfortunately, Sakura Haruno just is and always has been the most un-noteworthy member of team seven. No special bloodlines. No grand purpose. Just a girl in love. 

Zero times hundred is still zero. And Sakura is only as strong as the sum of her parts. Just not hers. 

So she emulates Ino’s stunning confidence. She gladly embraces Naruto’s endless optimism as her own. And she molds herself into the second coming of Tsunade.

At times, Sakura feels like a Frankenstein monster of the best traits of her compatriots. A cherry picked but forced amalgam of an ideal self she wishes she was. And more she borrows from others, the more she forgets if she was ever like this at all. 

But it doesn’t matter as long as it will help bring Sasuke back. She will give up her body and her soul and her everything if it means he can be saved from his despair. 

After all her love, the only thing she knows is hers and hers alone, was not enough for him to stay. 

----

Since his return, Sakura finds herself spending more time with Sasuke. They are closer now. More than friends, but not quite lovers yet. 

They share meals together, with and without the rest of their team. Night or day, Sasuke walks her home after her shifts. And to her surprise and absolute joy, he asks her to spar with him over and over again. Like she is finally is a worthy opponent rather than a burden. 

They are sitting side by side after one of their sparring matches watching the setting sun. And even though they are more comfortable than they have been in years, Sakura can’t help but think that Sasuke is still keeping something from her. 

It is the same squirming feeling she always feels when Sasuke leaves. 

So even though she knows she is going to ruin the quiet peace they finally found she can’t help but ask, “How long are you planning to stay?”

Sasuke hums non-committedly, “Another week or two at most.”

“Oh.” Her heart clenches uneasily. Because once again her love wasn’t enough. That no matter what she does, she might never be enough. 

“I wanted to leave sooner but there was a lot of paperwork on Kakashi’s part.”

 Her head is spinning. “Oh, why’s that?” 

Sakura had thought he is a little less lost now. That his suffering is easing bit by bit. She is too scared to ask when or if he is coming back this time. 

 “I requested to borrow Konoha’s best medic.” Sasuke tells her. 

Sakura brain short circuits. She isn’t quite understand the intentions behind his words and looks at him slack jawed, so Sasuke continues. 

“I think she would be an important asset at my side in uncharted territory.” He inches closer until his forehead touches hers. “And someone dependable in a crisis. I trust her to watch my back.”

Sakura swallows nervously. To her it almost, almost sounds like a proposal in not so many words. 

Their lips are now too close to be friends and just a centimeter away from being lovers. He continues, “And didn’t I promise I’d take you with me next time?”

He may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but when they are alone Sasuke is still the same boy that Sakura fell in love with as a child. 

Because in reality, her husband has always been quite soft. 

Even though he is known throughout the five great nations both as a menace and a hero, this terrifying man is wrapped around a toddler’s chubby fingers. 

When Sarada cries, he is the first to sprint to her side. He never complains about changing diapers or late night feedings. And despite Sarada already learning to toddle on her unsteady legs, her silly husband still insists on carrying his daughter any chance he can. Sasuke spoils and dotes on his only child, far from the image he has cultivated.

And though their romance has never been ideal to others, she never doubts his devotion. 

In the public, they keep a professional distance.  In the comfort of their own home he showers her with affection. Not only is he is a passionate lover but also a considerate one.

He mantians her weapons even when tells him she doesn’t intend to take any missions anytime soon. When her stomach growls, Sasuke always has some of her favorite snacks ready. And on those chilly nights he slips warm wooly socks onto her feet.

He may not be a man of many words, but his actions speak quite clearly.  And because he is like this, so deeply in love as the Uchiha often are, leaving breaks him. 

As the days wind down, Sakura notices a worrying change in her husband. 

Sasuke become quick to anger. His mood changes like a lightning storm. And most concerning, he begins to withdraw away from her and Sarada. 

Just like when he was a child, Sakura knows it is a defense mechanism. To Sasuke, severing bonds means that nothing can hurt him. Those dear people can’t be taken away if he has none to begin with. Just a way to protect what is left of his fragile heart. 

But just like back then, it doesn’t work. 

She finds him one night, one of his last at home, overlooking Sarada while she sleeps. He is bent over her crib in a silent prayer. And he weeps. 

Sakura approaches him quietly. A soft hand on his back, the other intertwining his own. 

Sasuke turns to her, and she sees the same boy from back then. So afraid but duty bound. This time not by revenge or familial honor. 

This time he will leave to protect them. He leaves this time so that Sarada can grow up free of war. It is a decision they make together. That no matter the sacrifice, as her parents, they will protect Sarada’s smile. 

He collapses into her in a half embrace as his strength leaves him. She can feel the tears seep into her shirt as his head rests on her shoulder. The hand on his back now softly cards through his hair while the other stays grasping his own. 

And Sasuke confides to his wife as his often does in his darkest moments. 

“I want to stay…” 

----

Even though she misses him terribly, she still has Sarada. She still has Ino and Naruto. Her parents are always there for her. Kakashi and Sai and Shizune and Tsunade and others support her. She knows will be fine. 

Rather she worries for Sasuke. 

He is a broken boy that grew up into a broken man. And just when he finally finds peace within himself, finally lives the mundane life he had always craved, he is thrown back into a world of monsters and blood. 

But his resolve has always been one of his greatest traits. One of the reasons she loves him so.  And she has complete faith he will vanquish the demons that continue to haunt their world. 

But the heart is a delicate thing.  And as he often does, Sasuke confides in his wife in his darkest moments. 

Marigold for grief. Anemone for undying love. Almond for a promise.

They say that Sasuke Uchiha is one of the strongest men alive. But no one knows her husband like she does.

They gift her mama with magnificent bouquets. Dozens and dozens of long stem roses, carnations as big as her head, and of course cherry blossoms. 

Sarada wishes these dumb suitors would at least have some originality. 

After her mama subtly disposes of yet another large bouquet of red roses, because really how many roses does mama actually need?, Sarada asks her mother whether papa ever gave her flowers. 

“Of course he has silly,” she would chuckle. Mama’s eyes twinkle as if she is aware of a grand secret, “your papa is quite the romantic.”

But Sarada doubts that. 

Despite her mama’s admirers singlehandedly keeping the Yamanakas in business, Auntie Ino swears that she had never seen her father purchase a flower for her mama in all the years she manned the family store. Instead he gifts her practical but very unromantic items. A knife sharpener. Her favorite snacks. 

Socks. 

The Sixth laughs softly and tells Sarada that papa is lucky that mama has been so head over heels for her him from the day they met, because her father didn’t know the first thing about courting. 

And Seventh merely sighs defeatedly and tells her that her father loves her mother very, very much. Even if he has trouble showing it. 

And of course Sarada knows there is nothing romantic at all about leaving behind a wife and child.

---

When she is looking through mama’s wardrobe one day for some sparkly bracelets to show ChoCho at their sleep-over next week, Sarada comes across a finely carved wooden box tucked between Mama’s socks and flannel pajama pants. She opens it expecting some treasure inside but instead finds several notebooks. 

Curious, Sarada begins to flip through the pages. She cannot imagine her mama keeping a diary. Sarada has never seen her write in one, just in the margins of medical textbooks and paperwork from the hospital at the dinner table. 

Inside the notebooks are carefully pressed and delicately preserved flowers. They aren’t the grand flowers she sees at Auntie Ino’s store and not the common ones mama’s suitors give her. 

Instead they are more likened to wildflowers or weeds. Grown untouched by man and completely wild and imperfect. 

Next to each pressed flower is a series of numbers in Sakura’s methodical handwriting. Sarada concludes these are dates from the steady ascension of the values. Mama never keeps the flowers from her admirers, so it surprises her that she would keep these plain blooms and in such careful fashion. 

She returns from the library the next day with a hefty reference guide to flowers, plants, and their miscellaneous meanings, and Sarada meticulously looks up every single plant in those notebooks. 

Bellflowers for unwavering love. Dandelions for overcoming hardships. Rue for regret. 

Some blossoms don’t have a particular meaning, but they can’t be found anywhere near Konoha. These plants come from high in the mountains, deep in the forests, and hidden in the desert plains. Nowhere a normal traveler would go just for a tiny bloom 

And others she can’t identify at all. Too exotic, too strange, and not at all like anything in the world. As if someone is sending mementos from a trip across the universe. 

There is no sender. No return address. No clue on who sends her mother love letters in the form of flowers. 

But mama is always in a particularly good mood whenever a new flower is added to her collection. And Sarada wonders who would send her mama these flowers and why her mama keeps them so lovingly preserved.

Perhaps it is a hobby and Sakura’s acquaintances from all over send her these rare plants to satisfy her mother’s curiosity. Or perhaps they are from a persistent but shy secret admirer who has the common sense not to send the stereotypical bouquet.

But most of all, she hopes its her papa. That the papa she is starting to forget still remembers her mama and her. Hopes that he still has a shred of romanticism left. That these messages are just his secret way of telling them that he is alive and well. That he still thinks of them.

Because when she asks her mama whether she thinks papa whether will be home soon, her mama tells her that papa will be back as soon as he can. 

But mama has always been a terrible liar. 

Because in reality, papa doesn’t send messages. Not to her, not to her mother. His mission is top secret and shrouded in mystery. And as far as she knows, save the Seventh, he hasn’t contacted anyone in years. Maybe because he can’t. Or maybe because he doesn’t want to. 

___

A few days before her parents’ wedding anniversary, she finds herself shopping with her father for the perfect gift. 

Sarada figures he would need help and she doesn’t want her mama to be disappointed by her husband’s lack of romance. So Sarada points out the flowers at Auntie Ino’s shop and explains each ones’ meaning. Ino watches over the father-daughter duo with bemusement. 

“Do you need help there sir? I can see you seem to be quite a novice in the language of flowers!” From the back room, Sarada can hear Uncle Sai’s monotone chuckle. 

But Papa scoffs, “Don’t listen to her Sarada, I’ve sent Sakura flowers before.” He says as if he is just stating a fact. Like telling her the sky is blue or the weather is fair in spring. But the tips of his ears burn bright red. 

And Sarada can’t help but tease her father too, “Well aren’t you romantic papa?”