Let's just say

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

$10 budget Raiders of the Lost Ark

The fact that the beheading was at the order of a superior, and the solution was to create some sort of monster of disobediance to the letter of the law instead of just lying and saving them adds a certain mythological resonance.

do you ever start writing a comment on the internet and then think “oh what the fuck am i going on about” and delete it

I also enjoy writing an entire paragraph, thinking "you know, I don't actually need to be involved in this conversation," and deleting it

your maid fucking bit me. look at me. i know you told her to do that. she wouldn't do that if you didn't tell her. it was calculated and businesslike

im in big trouble with some wraiths i owe a lot of wraith money

Diversity win! Ancestral curse recognises non-biological parenthood!

Diversity win! Ancestral curse recognizes trans woman as eldest daughter!

i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect

not to abduct and reroute this very old post but i reblogged this almost 9 years ago and tagged my gf in it while we were still long distance, and now we have a house together so like. keep going, y’all

if a vampire were to steady my throat by wrapping their hand around it and maneuvering it so that they can feed from my neck i don’t think they would get anything. On account of all of the blood immediately rushing down to my