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fascinating how the silm implies ulmo's gender is Ocean
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@sesamenom
ulmo appears to tuor
fascinating how the silm implies ulmo's gender is Ocean

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just woke up to a weird noise from the tree outside. looked out the window and three baby bears popped out of the tree and ran off
That's because this is Silmarillion
kitto & elto back on my dash in 2026??
actually where IS a fic where Melkor doesnβt return, or doesnβt find Ungoliant or something so all that takes longer to blow up, and FinwΓ« has time to be like, βalright, everyone is slightly getting alongβ¦Indis and I are going on vacation for a few years and while weβre gone, Maitimo is King of the Noldor.β And thenβ¦
FinwΓ«, to himself as he walks out the door: This will work great. Maitimo is eagerly supported by FΓ«anΓ‘ro and his people, and respected (if sometimes begrudgingly) by NolofinwΓ« and his people. Moreover heβs a competent politician in his own right, genuinely interested in the work of rule, level-headed with responsibilityβ¦ I bet we can stretch this vacation to a decade or even semi-retirement without anyone blinking. Nothing with disrupt it.
Maitimo, the second FinwΓ« is out the door: For my first royal decree, let it be known that marrying your half-cousin is totally okay, and incidentally FindekΓ‘no and I are getting married next Tuesday. Youβre all invited!
All Hell (read: family drama): [breaks loose]
He's just following tradition! Clearly you can't be king of the noldor without a marriage controversy.
@shrikeseams 1. Years, obviously; this is Maedhros weβre talking about. 2 (implied). My vague idea of the timeline here is:
a couple months ago: Fingon & Maedhros decide that fuck it, yeah, letβs just ELOPE! β¦but not right this instant; thereβs the bridge-opening ceremony, and then Aredhelβs begetting-day party, and thenβ¦
so in, like, 2 months? Yes, 2 months. Thatβs the plan. βHunting tripβ just the two of them, nothing unusual, handle the consequences when they get backβ¦
about 1 month ago: FinwΓ« announces his vacation plans, including the kingship while heβs gone
Fingon: Oh no! Should we elope right now? Should we put it off longer? I donβt WANT to put it off any longer, I want to take youβ
Maedhros: No no no no noβI got this. I can work with this. WE can work with this. We just need to arrange an entire royal wedding in a month, secretly, while still coordinating with Grandfather for my coronationβand secretly planning yours, after the weddingβ We can combine those to compress the logistics. All the same people will attend. We need invitations; two outfits each, or at least two sets of jewelry; venue and seating; musicians; refreshments; someone on duty to keep my father from starting a fight, someone on duty to keep your father from starting a fightβeasier job, but itβll satisfy Father to seeβ Help me clear off this table and we can start the seating chart! And designing your crownβwhat kind of symbolism do you want? It should be strongly Noldorin, but I think we can afford a hint of Vanyarin aesthetic if youβd preferβ
Fingon, admiring, clearing off the table: Itβs fucked up how this just makes me want to marry you even more. I donβt think Iβ no, yeah, I do actually want a hint of Vanyarin aesthetics. The curlicues their jewelry always has these days.
a VERY young Celebrimbor, looking at Maedhros' design for Fingon's crown: of course I can make this, but why do you need a crown? And why can't I tell dad?
Maglor networks up an entire secret orchestra's worth of musicians, separate from the regular coronation orchestra, and writes the wedding march
Celegorm handles all the Vala-sweet-talking required, starting with subtle hints to Orome and ending with less-than-subtle hints delivered to Manwe via hawk messenger
Maedhros does the logistics, of course, but Caranthir and Turgon are the ones who figure out how to procure the budget for a royal wedding without alerting anyone to suspicious withdrawals from the family coffers
Turgon also helps arrange the venue. after all, he is quite skilled at arranging hidden locations ahead of time
Aredhel volunteers to tackle anyone who tries to start a fight
they don't tell Curufin, but they do try to drop enough hints that he won't be excessively surprised when it happens. one Feanor is enough of a fight risk to deal with for now, and nobody wants a shocked and angry Curvo jumping in as well
Tiny Celebrimbor makes the crown in Mahtan's workshop while Nerdanel covers for him, because there's no way anyone's getting away with making secret crowns in Feanor's forge
fate awaits you with some sort of purpose, probably.
have you ever wanted to take a quiz where every result was bad and every question was weird? well now βοΈ you can

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i want to coin a phrase that's the opposite of writer's block. call it the muse's fire hydrant. thirty thousand story ideas are being beamed directly into your brain and if you don't write them all at once you will die.
yknow what i mean?
[ID: A greyscale sketch of a town street, with a store labelled "Writer's Block" closest to the viewer. A fire hydrant on the corner in front of the store is labelled, 'The Muse's Fire Hydrant". It's gushing water out into the street. A dog is standing directly in front of it with their mouth open wide. /End ID].
my brain: full comic of the last ark! my brain: three different fics at once! my brain: massive reverse gondolin painting with a billion complex poses! my brain: line by line comparison of the entirety of nightfall in middle earth to the corresponding chapters! my brain: the giant family tree that keeps crashing your laptop! my brain: illustrate the entire silm- me: NO
that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmarilβ¦itβs doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure thatβ¦you wouldnβt even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.
and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like,Β βThorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think theyβre being nuts, so Iβ¦kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.β And (itβs been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanorβs gems,Β since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.
Gandalf: *spittake*
Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwoodβs eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingolβs court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. weβre good. weβre good for now*
Gandalf: Thatβs, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?
Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW
Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelledΒ βthisfuckingrockagain.jpgβ]
Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves:Β no.
Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while:Β Absolutely Fucking Not.
Gandalf:Β Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-
Galadriel:Β Youβve got to be kidding me.
Elrond: Thorin OakenshieldΒ has a SilmarilΒ right now?
Gandalf:Β No, no.
Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.
Elrond: *wordless sputtering*
Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]
Galadriel:Β Oh yes, Belladonnaβs boy, you were telling me about him last winter.Β
Galadriel:Β Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?
Elrond: No fucking shit.
Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know itβs nearly mating season. but we have a situation again
Gandalf:Β [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]
Gandalf:Β [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]
Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]
I mean, given that Tolkien retconned βThe Hobbitβ so Bilboβs little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understandΒ why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greedΒ could be linked from his kidβs book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??
You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didnβt immediately raise the alarm about Bilboβs ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril andΒ the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angelβs serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinGΒ β pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactβ. And then. AND THEN! One day heβs like,Β βhey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journeyβ. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screamingΒ βnottheoneringnottheoneringnottheoneringβ while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possiblyΒ be the one- βItβs this plain gold ring thatβs very precious to me and turns me invisible!β
AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CANβT REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURONβS RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN
@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P
Iβve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D
Next youβll be telling me Sting is Gurthang
Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgothβs crown
βAverage Hobbit finds at least one world war inspiring artifact when on a journeyβ statistic inaccurate. The Spiders Took Family, who find a world war inspiring artifact every five feet they step outside the Shire, were outliers and should not have been counted.
Bilbo: Iβm not a burglar I wouldnβt even know how to be!
Also Bilbo: *trips and grabs seven legendary artifacts on the way down*
I propose the alternative theory, Sting is the dagger with which Glorfindel offed the Balrog
may I suggest: Sting is the knife Maeglin tried to stab Earendil with, and the mithril coat is Earendil's baby armor
So we all know Beleg chose the sword Anglachel, right? The evil all black one. But what I realized is that the Silm also mentions Belegβs great bow Belthronding, which was made of βblack yew-woodβ. So both of Belegβs weapons are specifically described as being black. Isnβt that interesting? All Iβm saying is that we usually draw Beleg as looking like Legolas from the movies but maybe we need to start drawing him as goth.
furthermore:
Since the subject came up, would anybody be interested in reading an extremely self-indulgent fic (866 words) I wrote a while ago about Celebrimbor's dental anatomy and elvish teeth tissue and the impact it has on Annatar and why Finrod could fight a werewolf with his bare teeth? ππππ
I know dentistry in the Silmarillion fandom is a very niche interest that probably nobody has, but I genuinely just love my job so much
@nelyoslegalteam Silm dentistry fic!
woahhh since when did they add this reblog graph format???

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Oh, to be granted the power to speak to animals for just like 38 seconds, so that I could tell this pebble-brained feathery fuckass that nobody is impressed that he started singing earlier than anybody else. There's no bird pussy available at 2 am. The dames can sense your desperation. Stop screaming for at least three more hours.
how many times do you think celegorm's been woken up at 2am by a distraught brother asking him to tell the birds to shut up
in honor of the last day of mermay:
gil galad was a swordfish king, of him the harpers sadly sing: the last whose realm was fair and free between the mountains and the sea.
his legs were long, his bill was keen, his shining fin afar was seen; the countless stars of heaven's sails were mirrored in his silver scales.
but long ago he swam away, and where he dwelleth none can say; for past the halls has claimed his soul fish-galad, son of plothole.
do yall ever wonder what youβre best known for in the fandom ?
Excessive levels of historical detail, or fisting. I hope it's the fisting
based off my notifs and my askbox, i'm pretty sure it's the gil galads
the Singing Toadfish from @thescrapwitch's would you still love me if i was half-fish, based on @peasant-player's reverse mermaid trend :)
(is a reverse mermaid technically a peredhel?)
landlord didn't pay for the building backflow test and the city shut off the water :/// it'll be back on tomorrow hopefully but for now here's an ulmo

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maglorath tidbit: Cirdan's spent the past few thousand years wandering around the Mediterranean. he can't leave until Maglor (hermit, soundly ignoring the cry of the gull) and Daeron (even more hermit, too far inland to hear the gulls) do, so for now he's just hanging out in france. he speaks a bizarre hybrid of french, italian, latin, falathrin sindarin, and ilkorin; Maglor and Daeron avoid talking to him partially because of the offense to their linguist senses
mae's followers are his Loyal Subjects / Political Supporters. celegorm's followers are his weird vaguely cultish Cruel Servants. maglor's followers are his crazed-megafandom-turned-heavy cavalry.