Serenity Valley Radio

lmfao I just saw zohran doing the inaugural swim in a full suit and tie, the schtick genuinely gets funnier the more he does it. My only complaint is should have worn swim trunks OVER the suit

Listening to happy music to get through the disassociative episode

this feels like adhd with depression

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

i enjoy that every single human’s reaction to penguin is unrestrained delight

And penguins lack large terrestrial predators, so their reaction to humans tends to be, “HELLO STRANGE GIANT PENGUINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY FISH?”

I will reblog this on my deathbed.

Please let him science 🐧

i think at least half of the million reblabs on this are from me

There is an international treaty that says we’re supposed to stay 6m away from penguins, and it’s really difficult because no one told the penguins, and they all desperately want to wander up and say hi.

Luigi probably fucks though.

Ok but why is Luigi different

displays internality by being capable of fear. to fear is to have something to lose. and what does he stand to lose? fucking.

advertisement is so constant and everywhere i have to wonder if it even works anymore. im aware my bus stop probably has ads on it but i couldnt tell you what for. i hear 'this video is sponsored by' and i start skipping ahead until its over. u can probably argue theyre still getting in your brain by becoming part of the white noise but like idk man. im feelin really "when everything is ads, nothing is." right now.

my knight you have to live you have to get up you have to put your hand over your wound and hold it there. you have to keep walking and walking and walking because you cannot lay down yet, it’s not time. wipe the blood off your breastplate and look up into the sun. lean on your sword if you need to. lift one foot after another. get up. get up. this would be a pitiful grave.

“This would be a pitiful grave” is now my new go-to when I’m sad or upset. God that’s fire