The Apocalypse That Never Was

some of you people are so annoying. i mean me too but good lord

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.

Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.

having a hometown is such a fucked up concept. i grew up here so i do not want to stay here anymore. i miss it when i am away but once i am back i realise why i wanted to go away as far as possible from it. i am familiar with every corner of this place i did not realise when it slowly changed into something unrecognisable. i would probably like to be buried here but i'd rather die than live here

I like to imagine King Arthur refused to believe he was adopted as a child because if your mean older brother said “You’re not even related to us, a wizard dropped you off at our house when you were a baby.” you would be sooooo skeptical.

Ector introducing Arthur to people as his foster son and Arthur explaining that it is a familial inside joke after he walks away.

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

Destroys you cutely

"if you take testosterone youll look like your DAD!! DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD?!! YOULL LOOK LIKE A GROSS UGLY MAN YOULL LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD!" nope! adopted💖

shoutout to the guys saying "my dad is awesome itll be cool if i look like him" but especially shoutout to the guys saying "i will/do look like my dad on t and i am making him suffer for it. he is evil and he HATES that i look like him. im like him but better" yall have a powerful aura

Some of you are engaging in kink scenarios only the concubines of an ancient emperor could understand