Wolfmom Werewalker

"jesus christ" "who's that"

"this is just like (tv show/movie)" "that's my favorite play"

referring to famous musicians or actors from the real world as "bards"

adding the word "fantasy" in front of modern things (i pull out my Fantasy iPhone and open Fantasy Tinder)

"how hurt are you" "on a scale of one to twenty-eight i'd say i'm at about a nine."

The Greeks had this word, right, we have no idea where it came from, it just kinda popped up out of nowhere, and it could mean either apples, cheeks, or boobs. Problem is it looked and sounded *exactly* like another, unrelated word which could mean sheep, goat, or any animal in general really, which must have got confusing if you were a farmer talking about your livestock, but anyway…

Then the Romans, having stolen practically everything else from the Greeks, thought they’d nick this word too, because Latin isn’t confusing enough without throwing in a bunch of loan words. And they adopted it to mean a pumpkin.

Then the English came along and were all like “when in Rome”, and stole it, where it became our word ‘melon’. Which has now come back to mean boobs.