let's just call it an obsession

Try “psychologist” instead. Spelling counts people…learn how or look it up in the dictionary for a change

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

Cats

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

I only accept the eggplant based measurement system of animals 

when she's a little protective over you >>>

@leftnotright local birb harrases owner XD

i’ve never heard a bird screaming in rage before

perhaps you’ll find your perfect career at 41. maybe you will meet the love of your life at 53. at 75, you might discover something you have a great talent for. your favorite musician of all time? possibly, you first listen to them with 38. life doesn’t end with your twenties.

I have one braincell and I use it to overthink

"that's my girl" nghhsjshdjshdjd

International Differences that turn into screaming matches of misdirected fury is one of my favorite genres of humor

Can we talk about how raw of a quote “When I kill God, I’ll make a law in the universe that makes every being put carrots on their sandwiches. … And you? You will eat sandwiches every day.” is