Sometimes I remember tumblr is a thing and like to stop in. In a world of never ending change, some things will always be the same- like this chaos hole ❤️
I’m obviously gonna also vent about something, but it’s something that taught me a lot.
TW going further: s/a, mention of blood
On December 11th, I made an attempt. I sat on my bathroom floor, screaming and crying in fear while holding a blood soaked towel to my body. I had no one I could turn to. My brother ignored my cries and got drunk instead. I didn’t have a single person who I could call, not a single person who would care.
But I did have two things- a wonderful, beautiful poodle who I am so thankful for, and Raleigh Ritchie’s (Jacob Anderson) song “Big & Scared”. That was enough. Those two beings saved my life, and if I ever get the opportunity to meet Jacob Anderson, I will thank him for this.
I did what I needed to do, I took care of myself, and in 9 days, it’ll be 90 days since I decided to truly live, while celebrating another year of my life on Earth.
I’m so thankful to be here, to have the privilege of feeling. I have a very nasty scar left behind, but instead of hating it, I use it as a reminder that I’ve gotten through all of my darkest moments.
Anyways- remember, you don’t need anyone, you’re strong enough to be alone and conquer the world. Be company enough for yourself and love who you are. At the end of the day, you’re the only true person that’ll have your back. That, and you should definitely get a dog ❤️
Be brave. Look for hope and beauty in everyday. Sending all my love to anyone needing it right now.
If you got this far, thank you for reading ❤️