bardic inspiration used for evil

everytime i see a picture of denver barkey i genuinely get such intense cuteness aggression. like. what is this small creature and how can it be on my hockey team. who put the small soft creature on my team he will be hurt. by me. for being soft and cute.

i started my new job on monday and i immediately got the sense that my boss gives zero fucks. she wears short shorts and flip flops to work everyday and tells me to my face that if enough people piss her off she’s just shutting the store for the day. today we were working in the back room and out of nowhere she asks me “why don’t you go outside?” she didn’t understand why i wasn’t taking any breaks beside my lunch. i had to explain that in american retail you are shot on sight for not doing something for 0.2 seconds and i am simply in that frame of mind despite having lived in england for 2 full years. long story short she has now mandated that i take a tea and biscuit break at least once a shift.

i will say maybe spider-man is actually a cure for depression it needs more testing but i think im establishing a theory.

in other news i’m almost finished reading lena dunhams first memoir and am about to start her second one it’s doing irreparable damage to my inner monologue