Scully1234

“It’s clearly fetish content” YAY!!!!!

Everyone is lusting over the Fat spectre..

hi I’m the computer. You’re not getting that.

World Heritage Post

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

*in tears* Thanks kitty, I needed this...

You're right. I SHOULD be able to take the train from Minneapolis to Berlin.

Fun fact: In several European countries where the drinking age is 18, and the age you can get a driver's license is also 18, there's a window of time where someone who just turned 18 and doesn't have a driver's license to use as an ID yet will simply use their passport. Shitfaced and unsupervised just-newly-legal-adults teenagers from the heart of central Europe showing up in Canada because someone thought "hey let's go to Texas lmao" and nobody was sober enough to say that that's a terrible idea.

Splatoon but its werewolves

They uhhhhhhhh spray cum idk. Whatever.

I can make the same joke 100 times and you will all enjoy it.

One of these days yall will see me and haiku-bot fuckin tbh

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln

Pokemon Heritage Post

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.