yes…yes… i have Created a small pile of debris

this is killing me

thank you for being the reason i will never ever ever delete my account this is exactly what i needed to read today

what the fuck ARE you talking about

lmfao the Scots in town for the World Cup have made a pilgrimage to Boston's world-famous Cop Annihilating Slide

Me: “Ohhhh ☝️ it’s because the slide is alive and hates cops. This is good.”

WHAT

He thought it was great, and they shared it on social media trucker groups. In a turn i would not expect, a lot of other truckers got really emotional about it. Like, grown men cooing over a stranger's pregnancy photoshoot, going to their wives and asking if they can do something similar 🥺🥺🥺. All in all, strangely wholesome???

hour 8: if i wad 1 apples tall i could live off of one apple for a week... oh but it would rot away... no.... i hate the rot i hate the apple

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

asses to asses, bust to bust

i need you to know that this is already a top contender for funniest anon message of the year for me

yeah bossman lemme get a pack of the uhh, siscon yuricest envelopes

He is my princess diana

I’m actually fucking dying