Davey Gudgeon

saying 'damn that kinda looks like piss lol' about a crystal clear bottle of water as a subtle flex on my hydration levels

You really can’t find this type of humor anywhere else

"I'm gay" "I'm straight" ok????? I am reaching, but I fall??? And the stars are black and cold???As I stare into the void??? Of a world that cannot hold??? I'll escape now from that world??? From the world of Jean Valjean??? There is nowhere I can turn??? There is no way to go on????😒😒😒

small talk? it was quite big to me. i love you

No YOU'RE cooked. I'm caramelized

Love being fun and silly with strangers… Today at the farmers market the hummus guy saw my bag and was like “We’re filling that up right??” and I was like Twist my arm!! and we both hooted. Then at the end he was like “By the way the baklava is only half sliced so make sure to slice before serving… that is, if you’re going to share!!” and I was like “Oh I wouldn’t count on that!! 😉😉” and we shared another hearty laugh. I love playing in this space with you

I called my brother a wifeguy and he was like “what’s that” so I told it’s a man who’s obsessed with his wife, and there was a pause as he went through all 5 stages of grief in about 20 seconds, and then said, “well what do other people do??”

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

noncon friendship

Coworkers

SON MISTAKE: In teaching my cat son boy the command "out"- intended to mean, "emerge from the enclosed space"- I have unwittingly trained him to understand that if I open a box, cupboard, cabinet, or fridge in his presence, he need only rush inside and stay there, firmly planted with his wide wet baby eyes, and he will surely be granted the opportunity to earn a delightful little treat

not doomed by the narrative but saved by the narrative. yeah i know you'd rather die than keep suffering but the story doesn't actually care what you want. you have to keep going, even when it hurts. even being erased from existence won't stop you from being salvaged from the wreckage of un-being. get up. keep pushing. keep bleeding. keep living.