tolkien incorrect quotes

Halbrand: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon!

Elrond: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Elrond: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Gil-Galad: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Celegorm: If I punch myself and it hurts am I strong or weak?

Amrod: Apparently clowns make like 44k a year

Celegorm: I am the most responsible person in the group

Aredhel: Finno, I need to tell you something

Maglor: Going to plan B?

Maedhros: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Melkor: Oh look, we’re under a mistletoe

Fingolfin: I have a bad feeling about this

Sauron: I could fix him but whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier

Melkor: Mairon, wanna play 20 questions?

Maglor: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife

Celegorm: I think Curvo might be gaslighting me