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Love all the posts about Melkor playing jazz or ska during the Music, and you all have very compelling arguments for it! But I'm afraid I just can't let go of the idea of metalhead Melkor for multiple reasons…not the least of which is that Eru "The Strict Uptight Conservative Dad™" Iluvatar hating it is just too funny and too real.
But here's another pick for what Melkor's song could sound like!
It's not metal, but it's by a 60s psychedelic/progressive rock band. They're also considered "proto-metal," and this song is their most famous one. It's the whole 17 minutes long, and I've always personally adored it, but I also know it's not for everyone. It's very much a 50/50 situation: either you love it and think it's a genius piece of music, or you think it's nothing but tiresome, chaotic noise. Which is why I think it would explain the reactions of the Ainur when they first heard something like this: some of them immediately swaying to Melkor's side, while others were completely shocked and horrified XDD
And since the lyrics are about love, I also hereby declare it a good pick for the "Seduction of Mairon" episode.
Thank you @dreamyshiftyaching, @perlen-gold @saintvoids for the tag, and many others who have tagged me in the last weeks. I appreciate seeng those tags, please keep them coming.
What I have to share with you today is nearly completed WIP, the second chapter for my modern angbang AU Eisenknall, set in southwestern Germany. It's a short and sweet glimps into Melkor and Mairon's life five years after their first date.
Read the first chapter on Ao3
Stupid Melkor is mad about shippers being wrong on the Internet
Achtung, this might get a teeny bit self-indulgent for me making fun of my own frustrations about how others treat my One True Pairing in the Silm. This is why I will leave this gripe of mine in Melkor's capable hands.
I tag @rebornflameofthenoldor @a-dwarfs-dream-of-space @kisses-in-the-void @yewfae @gospelxforxthexfallenxones @sauron-kraut and the rairpair connoisseur: @starsofarda for those Melkor/Namo fics.
But now, without further ado, it's Fluffy Angbang Time!
Melkor sat with his laptop in front of him, unsure if he should laugh or cry. He was in a good mind to introduce the screen to his schnitzel hammer still sitting idly in the drawer, but that would mean going to the repair shop again.
Maybe stop looking at Tumblr would be a better choice. Also, he might as well start pounding those schnitzels instead of his screen. Mairon would be back from his trip in three hours and he wanted dinner to be ready. On the bright side, Melkor had remembered to make the potato salad last night before bed. Now there was the question if there was enough clarified butter to fry those schnitzels properly. Nothing was worse than the wrong fat or not enough to bathe the breaded meat to achieve that perfect crispy crust.
The fridge revealed that there was in fact no more clarified butter left, not even some stashed in the freezer, so it was time to put on a pair of shoes, check his armpits for any noticable odours and tidy up that man-bun he was sporting, or just comb it back into a neat ponytail.
Melkor ended up taking a full shower, washing his hair and was out an hour later with a neat braid held together with one of Mairon's golden scrunchies. He ended up going for Ghee instead of the usual German Butterschmalz and also picked up some of those frozen strawberries enrobed in dark chocolate. Maybe he should also swing by the office and get a bottle of that Champagne that needed to be enjoyed before it turned into overpriced vinegar.
Just as he had lit the candle on the table, Melkor heard keys turning, a huff and a heavy object rolled over the threshold to their apartment.
"My flame!" Melkor left the kitchen door wide open behind him, eager to give Mairon a hand and a much needed hug.
"Your absence made me go coo-coo again!" Mairon's embrace was home returned.
"Good to be home, Chef!" Mairon's lips brushed his cheeks, one finger tugging at the front of Melkor's apron. Before anything more could be said, Mairon rushed off to the bathroom. "If my shirt is stained with fat, you are paying the cleaners!" He half sang on his way, before shutting the door behind him.
Travellers returned. Melkor rolled Mairon's case into the bedroom, noticing that he had in fact made the bed with the smaller cushions on the bedspread and not underneath.
"Take that off when you are hugging me!" Back in the kitchen Mairon crept up on him from behind, untying the offending apron. "I do not like fat stains on my linen."
"Lucky for you, all the fat you are fearing has remained in the pan to make your dinner." Melkor pulled out a chair. "Would the master smith care for an aperitif before his dinner"?
"If it's not beer, yes!" Mairon sat, his head tilted backwards, staring at the ceiling. "Those folks in the Pott* know their metallurgy better than I do in some cases, but their taste in after work drinks are not my cup of tea."
Mairon's particularities had been unsettling at first, before they got to know each other, Melkor remembered that stembolt delivery at the very start of their relationship. But he had begun to agree with him, and found his own standards were not much different.
"I don't have any tea for you, but will Champagne do?"
Mairon watched him open the bottle and pour two glasses. "You shouldn't have!" A smile had spread all over his body, Melkor observed. That meant Mairon would also be able to actually appreciate the meal he had cooked and not merely chew through and be off to bed like some other times he had come home after a long day on the train.
After dinner they moved over to the sitting room to enjoy their desert with a cup of herbal tea. Mairon put his arm around Melkor. "So what made you go coo-coo in my absence this time?"
"Fandom skulduggery!" Melkor hated to admit.
"So you have been scouring Tumblr again?"
"Guilty as charged."
"Shippers just can't let a former ship exist in the past and allow their favourite character to move on with even more love in their heart, ready for a new partner!" Melkor growled into his teacup before emptying it.
Mairon collected their cups and got up to carry them into the kitchen. "You have a big heart, Bauglir!"
"Sometimes it's too mushy for my own sake!" Melkor called after Mairon, getting up himself. "Maybe I should save my mush for you!"
He turned off the lights and headed to the bathroom to clean his teeth. On his way, he gave Mairon a kiss on his neck, who was placing the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
"What was that idea of yours again? Wood cabin for a week?"
Mairon closed the dishwasher and turned it on. "You were against that, because you need civilization." Mairon snarked. "Just like you hate camping."
Melkor shivered at the thought of a tent and all the noise form outside that would keep him from sleeping. "If it's not a tent, but solid walls, getting away from all this hassle and overload might not be as bad as I previously said."
Mairon's expression looked satisfied, maybe just a little too much for Melkor's comfort. But it was late and he was maybe beginning to see the point of being unavailable and missing the news for a few days. So he let that smug grin on Mairon's face go uncommented. "So how about we look at that place near Lake Como you had in mind?"
"Wow!" Mairon handed Melkor the tea towel he had just used to polish the Champagne glasses. "At this rate, might be married in a year."
Melkor stood with the piece of linen in his hands, feeling wide awake.
"Was that a proposal?" Sometimes he could not tell if Mairon was joking or sneaking in truth to sew seeds for his machinations to take root in Melkor's mind.
Mairon's shocked expression was almost comical. "When you say it like that, I may not be quite prepared yet!"
"Quite prepared?" That choice of words stunk of a plan.
"I still need to hear back from Celebrimbor if he has time." Mairon said, taking the dishcloth out of Melkors hands, hanging it up himself.
Melkor stood silent, contemplating what to say next. Was Mairon intending on branching out into goldsmith territory to surprise him? "What has Celebrimbor got to do with all this?"
"I am tired, let's go to bed!" Mairon made a throwing away gesture, putting on a weary face.
Melkor understood. "How about we both clean our teeth and then you can tell me all about your secret ring plans I seem to have uncovered?"
"You are too cunning for your own good!" Mairon mumbled, giving Melkor a clap on his backside. "First of all I want that in bed!"
(*) Pott refers to a colloquial term for the (old) industrial Ruhr Area in western Germany: Ruhrpott or just Pott.
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I like how in the fandom where ships like Fili/Kili(3050fics), Maedhros/Fingon(3796) and Legolas/Thranduil(705) can exist (mostly) in peace, Angbang is seen as most offensive.
And no, I have no problem with people shipping these characters(it's not my thing but they, at least, maintain some fandom ethics and don't shit on my ship, so I don't plan on judging them) but I think it says a lot about all these "righteous" warriors who desperately want to portray Angbang as a toxic and immoral ship. It was never about morality(or canon). It was always about Melkor being an inconvenience for their other ships, most of which exist only thanks to tv adaptation
Little edit:
I see that some people who came across this post think that my goal was to criticize mentioned ships so I would like to say once again that this is not the case. I mentioned these specific ships and the number of fanfics with them just to illustrate their popularity (I would say they are really popular considering that Silmarillion and Hobbit are not that big of a fandoms). In no way I meant to accuse people shipping these characters of bad tagging (as I mentioned in the og post, I see these groups as one of more peaceful part of the fandom that doesn't invade spaces of other ships )
The point of my original post was rather to point out how unserious is attitude of people(Again, I don't mean people shipping mentioned ships)who claim that Angbang is a terribly problematic and abusive ship, when at the same time these same people have no problem with incest ships. Am I saying that they should have problem with them and start attacking these ships too? God, no.
What I'm saying is that, if someone attacks a ship between two villains(just because there is some possibility that their relationship might be abusive) but ignores incest ships, they have no right to say that they attacks the first ship for moral reasons.
And to people who say that Russingon is not quite the same as other two ships -
I see what you mean. I agree that cousins are definitely a smaller thing compared to siblings or parent/child. (Maybe if I were a little braver I would consider giving it a try. I have to admit, these fanarts that Pinterest recommended to me were really good).
But I still think it's a fitting example because I think that, from the perspective of someone who claims to be fighting for "healthy" ships, this ship also should be seen as inappropriate
Granted, the "Nereb and Dungalef" plan was never going to work and those two had absolutely no chance of successfully infiltrating Angband and walking back out with a Silmaril in their hands. Even if they had somehow avoided catching Sauron's attention and managed to sneak all the way into Melkor's halls, there was no way to take the jewel from him without Luthien and her magic.
But the moment when Beren lost his temper and asked SAURON right to his face "Who the fuck are you, dude, and why should we obey you?" is just SO so funny to me.
Honey, NO!!! 🥲 No Orc would ever dare say something like that to Melkor's specialest princess!!! Behind his back? Yes, I'm sure they said plenty of nasty things about both Dark Lords. But never to his face! And everyone in that fortress and beyond knew exactly WHO Sauron was 😏
