in the violent heart

Crowley is a demon, right? An optimistic demon, who loves listening to Queen, and driving his Bentley, and collecting plants, and drinking wine and Talisker whiskey, and indulging in spy thrillers, and watching humans fall in love (this last one I DEFINITELY will come back to), sure... but still a demon nonetheless. I mean for fucks sake, one of his very first assignments as one, is to "get up there and make some trouble" — 'up there' being the Garden of Eden, and 'make some trouble' being, arguably, to tempt Eve.

I say 'arguably' because as far as I know, we don't... actually know that he was really told to tempt her in the first place. For all we know, 'make some trouble' could have meant anything. It could have meant 'tempt the first woman into disobeying her creator', sure. Or it could have meant causing rain clouds to downpour over a garden where no rain had yet fallen, and in doing so ruin that perfect little image of paradise. Or it could have even meant terrorizing the other animals in his Serpent form.

It could have meant any of those things, and more.

I believe Crowley chose temptation, for a reason — and hear me out: I believe said reason in him choosing to tempt the first humans into a little rebellion, a little disobedience in learning right from wrong after all, actually has to do with why he, himself, was cast out.

Unless I'm remembering wrong we haven't actually been given the reason Crowley was cast out; but our best educated guess, as a collective fanbase, is that he was given such a punishment for daring to ask questions. For wanting to know things. And I won't say this next thing is a good thing of him to have done so, per se, in terms of potential pettiness and whatnot, but.

What if Crowley tempted Eve into wanting to gain the knowledge she did... all because he was denied answers, himself? All because when he wanted to know things, himself, he was also punished? I don't know if anyone else has brought this up as an arguable point already — please free to point me in the right direction if they have — but Crowley being cast out for knowing, but doubting and/or wanting to know more things could very, very much be a direct parallel to Adam and Eve being cast out for possibly having doubts and/or questions, themselves, on top of having gained new knowledge they weren't supposed to have gained in the first place.

What if this very first little temptation of his (and again, I'm not saying it's a good thing, per se) was also the first means of him finding a connection with humanity, despite his position and nature as a demon?

Because as we move on, over the course of the next several thousand years, Crowley remains on Earth almost the entire time, only reporting back to Hell whenever he absolutely needs to; otherwise, at least as far as we've been shown, avoiding Hell if he can help it. He remains on Earth — by doing so, acting on self-indulgence by partaking in the many delights and pleasures (and even some of the vices) that humanity ends up having to offer.

Not only that, but in doing so he as an immortal demon also allows himself the joy of watching us, humanity as a species, evolve, grow, adapt, and change, every step of the way... and in doing so, falls in love with us, humanity, as a whole. He falls in love with us (though of course in a much different way than he falls in love with a certain angel), and all we have to give.

Crowley, as a demon, watches us, as humans, in everything we come up with, in everything we invent, and also watches us in everything we do — the bad and the good, for all of the above.

He watches us hate. He watches us go to war with each other, and destroy each other and ourselves, over the thousands of years. And I like to imagine that, frankly, it always breaks his heart watching us do so.

However—

I also like to imagine that at the same time it's broken his heart watching us destroy, and hate, every time, it's given him happiness and hope watching us not only create and fall in love... but also inspire.

I like to imagine that for the latter, specifically, we've not only brought him hope that things can and do get better (because at this rate he's seen it all from us) — but also that we've inspired him as well.

Because what if that's the beauty of it. What if it's him having fallen in love with humanity not only for the little things and little gestures that we have come up with and invented as a whole that have brought him, as a demon, joy — but also the thoughts and feelings, the sheer number of complex emotions, we've over the course of our very existence become capable of rendering not out of each other but also out of him as an entirely different being.

What if we're the reason he's an optimist in the first place.

What if all of that is the other big part as to why Crowley, alongside Aziraphale, was against Armageddon in the first place. Not just the material things we've invented that he enjoys — but everything we've made him feel for himself, and inspired him with.

Of course none of this is to say that it isn't or can't be the same to be said of Aziraphale. I'm more than convinced that he has also been inspired by us, and felt several emotions of his own, in watching us over the thousands of years.

My point for this post is specifically about Crowley, because in my opinion, as stated already... is what if he's not only connected with us all along, but had somehow found a (albeit, arguably, flawed) way to connect with us from the very start, and will continue to do so?

I don't want him and Aziraphale to become human because I feel that in having been given the opportunity to fall in love with and feel inspired by humanity, and all the ways we've grown, and all we've ever had to offer, as a whole, they also deserve the opportunity to continue to fall in love with us, and continue to be inspired by us.

TLDR; if they're written off as either willingly giving up or being stripped of their immortality in the end, then sure, yes, that's them being provided the opportunity to grow old together and pass on together., etc etc etc. Arguably, that could make for a decently happy ending in and of itself. But. That's ALSO them being robbed of the opportunity to, for the rest of humanity's existence, continue to watch us grow, and to continue to appreciate us and all we've ever been capable of inventing, and will continue to invent, as well as any and all other things we also become capable of causing them to feel as time passes — all while we ourselves, proceed to evolve and grow, and create, and love, even more as a species.

And being robbed of getting to continue to witness such a thing out of humanity isn't what they, in my opinion, deserve.