Hep Hep! (Horray!)

love the CC function on emails. "you should know about this but you don't have to take care of it."

love the BCC function even more. "you shouldn't know about this but you can eavesdrop. keep it to yourself." ok then 💅✨

Concept: a separate name for while you're travelling. You only use it during a trip or while in a train/plane/bus etc.

Your travel name should also be whimsical or creative in a way so that when you make small talk with people on your trip you're memorable and having a good time.

Telling the next person on an airplane or in a hostel my name is ✨🌊River 🌊 ✨

People do this with hiking! They have trail names! I once met a guy named Mayor Turtle!

This is the best news I heard all week

Why are streaming services these days all named shit like Fubi and Hehu and lala

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

i'm thrilled my tweet continues to upset new yorkers even after my twitter ban

The amount of red on the belly of a red-bellied woodpecker is nothing short of lacking if not laughable

That last tweet is so depressing

this wound needs more salt

omg imagine being born and you are on a spaceship and everyone aboard is sooo so mad at you just because you burst out of some guy's chest to be born. like um sorry i've not been alive before i didn't even know that's not allowed please be nice to me um the spaceship floor is cold is no one going to knit me some little booties i am calling child protective services