There is magic in the mundane

i meant 2 years

Well, there's always more room for another horse in here! Please, come in and enjoy some of this delicious timothy <3

[now aware that this is a vampire but i assume they have something going on probably related back to their childhood so i'll let them pretend to be a horse until they're ready]

>we save people from fires

>fires can kill anyone, including queer people

>we also save queer people from fires

Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.

"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.

You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.

I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.

FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!

(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)

Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.

The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.

So, today, one of my terrible awful tasks was scrubbing a piece of the flooded basement floor. Not fun. Drank tea first, and played on Tumblr after.

But another task was researching the history of familial terms - aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, etc. - so I could make a fun post about omegaverse alternatives. I WANTED to do this. I LOVE linguistic research! But I was doing it to answer someone's question, so it was work that was benefiting others. Painted my nails first, made myself an electrolyte drink after.

This teaches your brain that work doesn't HAVE to be terrible! Slowly, my brain is learning to stop dreading things just because they were classified as work, and instead dread only the things that ACTUALLY suck.

Below are some verified donation links of organisations that are currently providing assistance for the people in Gaza directly:

Food, water, and shelter

Taawon has launched a campaign to provide support in Gaza through food parcels, shopping vouchers, fresh produce, water bottles and shelter tents.

Watermelon Relief is a project initiated and implemented by a group of activists in Gaza, who work to provide aid to displaced families in Gaza through meals, support and activities.

World Food Programme (WFP) managed to provide assistance to more than 1 million people in Gaza in May by delivering food in shelters, makeshift camps and shops.

Life for Gaza is an initiative through which the Municipality of Gaza aims to provide basic necessities for the people of Gaza such as water projects, waste collection and the reconstruction of roads.

Arab Group for the Protection of Nature (APN) is working to plant farmlands in Gaza through their "Revive Gaza Farmlands" project, through which they had already started planting vegetables, fruits and leafy greens in Gaza.

Purchasing eSIMs is one of the only remaining ways to keep Gazans connected with the outside world, to get their stories out or even enable them to call for help after Israeli strikes.

The Sameer Project is a donation based aid initiative that provides tents, cash aid, diapers and formula for displaced families in Gaza.

Care For Gaza is an organisation that works to provide essential aid such as food packages and cash to deliver to displaced families in Gaza.

Palestine Children's Relief Fund, through their "Gaza Relief and Recovery" campaign, plan to provide essential medical supplies and treatments, as well as food and clean water.

Mutual Aid for the People of Gaza is a fundraiser managed by Mona in Gaza, who personally purchases and distributes basic supplies including food parcels to families in Gaza.

Help Gaza Children is another grassroots effort operating on the ground in Gaza to support families with food, water and clothing.

Medical care

Medical Aid for Palestine (MAP) provides medical supplies and supports healthcare services in Gaza.

Gaza Wound Care is a medical team in a tent in Nuseirat, providing care to children and supporting pregnant women.

is because people have been arrested and put in fucking PRISON just for having gay sex in the privacy of their own homes. in the United States. this millennia.

if you think i'm joking, look up Lawrence v. Texas (2003). 14 out of the 50 US States STILL had laws on the books criminalizing sodomy--and yes, you could be imprisoned for multiple years and sometimes even life for repeat offenses.

in the years directly leading up to the landmark case, enforcement even in those 14 states varied, but it was absolutely weaponized against queer people, especially when stacked on top of other offenses to make up a longer sentence.

"Sodomy" does not, in a legal context, mean "anal sex."

It means "any sexual act the court has decided is deviant."

BDSM? Sodomy.

Crossdressing for sexual pleasure? Sodomy.

Jacking off to nude photos or video your consenting adult lover sent you of themselves? Sodomy.

Het oral sex? SODOMY!!!

If you're starting to think "but how could anyone prove that happened without breaking down the door?"

Ha. Haha. Ahaha.

First, I'll give you one guess how they did prove it.

Two, these were often scapegoat charges--basically they couldn't actually nail you on anything because you hadn't done anything actually illegal, only things they didn't like, and they relied on public disgust against your "degenerate character" (yeah there's a very big reason we keep saying not to use that word and it's not to be killjoys) to make sure you knew your place.

Which means that in practice:

Went to a socialist meeting? Sodomy.

Male kindergarten teacher? Sodomy.

Mixing races? Sodomy.

Not Christian (or the right kind of Christian)? Sodomy.

YES THEY FUCKING DO COUNT.

Wanna know why?

Take a look at how many politicians have labeled trans people and their allies as pedophiles.

Take a look at how many politicians used to label gay people as pedophiles.

Take a look at how much suspicion falls on innocent men who just think working with kids is fun and want the chance to help, grow, nurture, and teach.

Take a look at yourself.

What about you could someone twist into "that person is a pedophile" if they wanted rid of you?

I can tell you exactly how they'd do it with me. I'm queer. I have a niece who came out as lesbian in her teens. I supported her.

Clearly I groomed her into that lifestyle, right?

Child sex abusers should be proven in a court of law to be guilty, and penalized to the fullest extent of the law. Pedophiles who have not abused children and seek to avoid doing so should not be hanged for something going wild in their brains.

Yes! That's super uncomfortable to say! I'm a CSA survivor! It's awkward and it means I have to defend people I really wish were not the way they are!

But the rope you use to lynch another will yank you into the tree to die.

Its also a fucking useless example for sodomy law especially because of how wildly age of consent can vary even in the united states. Which I hate that people get so weird about when you try to discuss it. No, knowing this stuff isnt a "red flag" you have to know something before you can speak on it or try and change it!

Child marriage is legal in 34 states with 4 of them technically not even having an age minimum outside of common law that could theoretically set it at 12. If we go back a few years the state of it would be even MORE dire as many of these laws putting age minimums only were put into place in the past eight years! So if one defines sodomy as "any sexual act done premarital that isnt missionary" then these wouldn't be covered.

Sodomy laws are USELESS for protecting children, because laws about CSA are better off being their OWN thing with strictly defined terms. Sodomy is so nebulous and hand wavy it does nothing but punish people who have done nothing wrong, strict terms with clear meanings is what creates protections. "You can't just make "if we think its gross" the law and expect that to actually work on deterring people who are doing the actual crimes. Which are ALREADY illegal.

“We need a law that makes it illegal to go into a bathroom that doesn’t align with your birth sex! Otherwise, people might go into the wrong bathroom to sexually assault someone!” Huh, interesting, but isn’t it already illegal to sexually assault someone, including in a bathroom??? Because if so, then you can just completely discard that explanation for the entire law. It is already illegal to go into the wrong bathroom and sexually assault a person; ergo, the law is not about sexual assault at all, it’s just about bathrooms.

“We need to arrest undocumented immigrants in order to crack down on gang activity!” Huh, interesting, but isn’t that gang activity already illegal??? So, if you wanted to crack down on gang activity, you could simply arrest people who are associated with gangs, and in fact, we do already do that. Ergo, this rhetoric isn’t actually about gang activity at all; it’s just about undocumented immigrants.

“We need to diminish free speech and freedom of movement rights for suspected terrorists, because otherwise they could commit mass murder!” Well, interestingly, mass murder is already illegal, and if you have probable cause that indicates that someone is planning to commit mass murder, you can simply arrest them for that. Since the law is already fully equipped to go after people who are genuinely suspected of gearing up to commit a violent terroristic act, this clearly isn’t really about terrorism at all; it’s just about diminishing free speech and freedom of movement rights.

“We need tort reform that caps the monetary damages that large corporations can be forced to pay, in order to keep people from bringing frivolous and fraudulent lawsuits!” Hmm, but see the thing with that is fraud is already a crime, and frivolous lawsuits can already be thrown out. If a law caps the amount of damages corporations need to pay in lawsuits which were not found to be frivolous or fraudulent, then almost by definition, it has nothing to do with frivolous lawsuits or fraud – it’s just about limiting corporate liability.

I could go on.

Always ask yourself what the actual function of a proposed law is – not just the stated goal, but what it actually does that is not already covered by an equally restrictive law.

And remember, a good general rule is:

That’s right. Victimless crimes, and they can’t get them expunged or themselves removed from the list. Which… isn’t actually all that uncommon. A lot of people demonize sex offenders and people who defend them without considering all the many ways that our society labels victimless crimes as sex offenses.

Did you know that inside your car counts as “public”? And therefore if you’ve ever peed in your car, that’s public urination, a sex offense? If you’ve ever changed clothes in your car, that’s public nudity and exposure. If you’ve done either within range of a school, even if it’s not within hours and there are no children present, extra layers of charges can be added to make it a sex crime against children. Who does this target the most? Well, of course, homeless people, who often have no choice about going inside a building to do their business. It’s part of the criminalization of homeless people and homelessness itself.

Get familiar with animal body language, especially dog & cat, as they’re the two most common household pets and the animals you’ll most likely come into contact with on a regular or semi-regular basis.

Cats can seriously fuck you up, they can cause deep scratch and puncture wounds that are hard to heal and are very prone to infection & disease. Dogs can straight up kill you.

Biting is usually a last resort*.

There are so many stories about dogs biting people “out of nowhere” when in reality, the dog showed signs of distress or discomfort, but they either went unrecognized or ignored.

Animals cannot communicate with words like we can, but they DO THEIR BEST to communicate their feelings with us. It’s up to us to learn what they’re trying to say and respond appropriately.

You wouldn’t walk up to a strange person and get up in their face and start tussling with them and petting them and hugging them, don’t do it to a strange animal. These are living beings with their own personalities, likes, dislikes, and discomforts.

And for the love of god, please remember that not all bites are purposeful or aggressive. I’ve been bitten on accident for many reasons. I got bit when I accidentally stepped on my late childhood dog’s tail when he was sleeping. My other childhood dog gets mouthy when she plays and doesn’t know her own strength. I’ve been bitten when giving a dog a treat because they didn’t know how to take it gently from my hand.

I work at an animal shelter. Dogs get surrendered for accidental/non-aggressive bites all the time. A dog got surrendered for biting the owner while having a seizure. A dog got put on the euthanasia list for accidentally biting a child who was eating directly in front of their face in an attempt to get the food.

The dogs that do not tolerate everything are overlooked or considered “dangerous” or “unfit for adoption.” If they “act out” one too many times, that’s it for them.

Most of us don’t go around looking to start a physical fight, but if someone came up behind me and hugged me out of nowhere or started grabbing my face or tugging my ears or whatever, they would get absolutely decked. Animals are the same way.

My point is, read up on animal body language, TEACH YOUR KIDS to respect animal body language, and don’t instantly demonize them if they show discomfort or distress.

From now until the Senate vote, This period of time is our last chance to stop KOSA.

Upset at Discord and Youtube's age verification policies? If KOSA passes, your alternatives to these sites will be affected too. You would not be able to avoid it, not unless you decide to leave social media entirely, which many people cannot do. You would have to choose between privacy and access to your accounts. All is NOT lost, but our hope relies on calls, petitions, emails. I cannot stress enough how important these next few months are. Every call made in the next few months is for the future of the online world. If you have struggled to find time to make a script, or don't know what to say, use 5 Calls. They give you a script to use while calling. People have also provided other scripts. @daytimemin for example has a document with scripts.

Find your senator here: U.S. Senate: Senators

From now until the Senate vote, This period of time is our last chance to stop KOSA.

Upset at Discord and Youtube's age verification policies? If KOSA passes, your alternatives to these sites will be affected too. You would not be able to avoid it, not unless you decide to leave social media entirely, which many people cannot do. You would have to choose between privacy and access to your accounts. All is NOT lost, but our hope relies on calls, petitions, emails. I cannot stress enough how important these next few months are. Every call made in the next few months is for the future of the online world. If you have struggled to find time to make a script, or don't know what to say, use 5 Calls. They give you a script to use while calling. People have also provided other scripts. @daytimemin for example has a document with scripts.

Find your senator here: U.S. Senate: Senators