it’s a tough life for someone like me, who should have been born a muppet

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.

Daniel’s first line back being “The Cuntessa” vampirism really freed him to be the biggest bitch ever

People who recycle and put their trash in their pocket until they find a trash can and people who pick up liter when they see it and people who still cut the six-pack rings so animals don’t get trapped or choke on them and people who move turtles out of the road and people who stop for ducks and geese to cross all have a very special place in my heart. You are so good to this world and earth. I hope you know that.

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

happy Barely Keeping It Together Wednesday to all who celebrate

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

every time a female character gets called the mom friend i shoot another hostage

if one more person talks about a man on this post i'm going to cause an international incident