⟢ featuring: Blade, Sunday and Dr Ratio x Gender Neutral Reader
⟢ note: Slight mentions of stalking in Blade's part. Reader is an Astral Express member in Sunday's part. This might be ooc. I really hope not tho 😞
As always constructive criticism is welcomed
⟢ The gravity of his desire disgusts him. He thought he’d long since trained himself out of simple mortal desires such as this, but he hates the fact that you’re living proof he has not.
⟢ He won’t tell you. No matter what. He’s disgusting—shrouded in darkness and lathered in sin. What in his right mind would ever give him even the slightest inkling that you might reciprocate? It’s too much pressure to put on you. To tell you that you’re the only person that battered, mangled thing he calls a heart beats for.
⟢ He avoids you. Tries to carve as much distance between the two of you as physically possible. Though he still craves your presence, the last thing you need is to risk your safety and get too closely involved with him.
⟢ He gets so irritable when he hasn’t seen you in a while. Though he’d never admit it, you calm him. Taper his moods and give him something to hold on to during the days he wants to crawl out of his skin.
⟢ He’s protective. Disgustingly so. Even on days he’s trying to distance himself from you, he can’t find it within himself to let you wander around unprotected. He can’t let something happen to you. Not now, not ever. So he watches you. Not obviously, not closely. Nothing you might notice. But close enough for that tight, coiled thing in his chest to loosen.
⟢ He finds it so hard to process his feelings. He’s been hiding them for so long, suppressing and watering them down for the sake of his goals. And now, he’s not sure he can process them normally, like nothing ever happened.
⟢ He’ll probably tell you at some point, once he’s processed and accepted everything. Right now, he’s just very overwhelmed by how he feels. Give him some time.
⟢ You make him want to try to be better. He’s made so many mistakes before, and now he just wants to be someone who deserves the easy kindness and acceptance that seems to roll off you in waves.
⟢ He seeks you out. Nothing too obvious, but often enough. He likes spending time with you, whether it’s while you’re traveling, telling him about your missions, or simply walking around the Express together. It’s easy to tell that you’re definitely the crew member he feels most comfortable with.
⟢ He plans his confession like crazy. He really likes you, and messing anything up isn’t even an option. He plans exactly what to say and how to say it, agonizing over whether he’s even read the signs right. What if he hasn’t, and you don’t like him nearly as much as he likes you? In the end, however, he’s too nervous to actually hold onto anything he memorized.
⟢ He’s so oblivious at first.
He can’t tell why his heart beats so quickly around you, why his hands feel just a little clammy, or why there’s a thinly veiled urge to impress you thrumming just beneath his skin.
⟢ Though he eventually recognizes his feelings for what they are after noticing just how often and casually he seeks you out without even realizing it.
⟢ He’s just the tiniest bit disappointed in himself. Feelings—especially feelings as strong as these—will do him no good in the long run. But he supposes he’s thankful that, at the very least, it’s you. Someone who can actually comprehend the wonders of the universe and is eager to learn more.
⟢ He analyzes his feelings and does research like crazy. He’s never felt like this before, so he’s not exactly well-versed in the customs and parameters of romance and he wants to be sure he's doing at least something right.
⟢ Ratio is not an affectionate person by nature, so you might not even realize he feels this way about you until he actually asks you out. But he’s also someone who knows exactly what he wants and isn’t the type to waste time on meaningless games. To say the least, you know he doesn’t catch feelings easily—if at all—so you’re glad he accepted his feelings well enough to tell you.
