hi for the love of god hello

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore

I’ve been to five thrift stores today trying to find a tortilla press and I complained abt it to a friend and she was like “why do you need it? …sex?” ??? ?????? How the fuck do I use it for sex. Am I meant to be crushing my pet into pancakes? I want to meet the woman who uses a tortilla press for sex. YOU could be the innovator who manages it.

shipping update: we decided to just keep your parcel

black mold and lead can’t affect me because i’m pure of heart

im making moves in silence (does something completely boring that no one cares about)

'A popular fanfic author stopped updating her fic because she said that the stress of being constantly falsely accused of using AI was a witch hunt and it was destroying her mental health to the extent that she needed to take a break from writing, leading to multiple online discussions defending her and debates about AI accusations and how You Can't Really Tell So Leave Her Alone, and then someone realised that there were Claude coding artefacts in her fics and that it was a super pervasive problem in that particular fandom, proven definitively by looking at the source coding of each work on AO3, and she denied it for a bit but then ultimately admitted that oopsie, she had been using genAI all along, and then she deleted all of her fics off AO3 and people got mad because they were being denied access to their favourite fics, even though they now knew definitively that they were genAI slop, and then it turned out that she'd actually stopped updating the fic on AO3 in the first place because she'd been shopping it around to agents and editors as an original work with the serial numbers filed off, and she'd been in conversations with a publisher which ultimately got dropped because she'd lied to them about her AI use' oh cool, so we're in Hell, then

bitches get out of kpop and start reblogging ugly tv men. girl what about jaehyun

When you hear the news that there is a growing life expectancy gap between republicans and democrats partially because of the right-wing anti-science conspiracies that have taken hold (especially after COVID) you’re like “Lol. They owned the libs so hard they died.” and then you remember these are the same people having 6+ kids to populate the polls with their white Christian children and medically neglecting them. Then you squint at the data and realize it is not measuring voter data and life expectancy but life expectancy in red areas vs. blue areas and you realize that voter suppression, corruption, racism and poverty is actually killing the people in these places faster than the national average, not their own reactionary views. And you’re so angry it’s being presented like it’s their fault they’re dying.

i recently found out what the * * * that sometimes separates parts of a text is called and youre never gonna fucking believe it