hi for the love of god hello

I know this makes me a Bad Socialist, but I can’t help but find it hilarious when two rawr-kill-the-bourgeoisie types get to talking and slowly come to realise that they’re setting the bar in very different places with respect to the definition of “bourgeois”. Like, one of them is talking about the direct exploitation of the working class, while the other means “anyone who lives in a house”.

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

Since tumblr is rightfully loving this one, I feel obligated to mention that I ran into the same guy again on the last day of the convention and told him Scribe was really entertained by this, and he said that the night before he'd also really gotten one of the hotel waitresses, who informed him he could take a seat wherever and he replied "Oh, no thanks, I brought my own"

imagine you are a world famous genderfluid drag queen that runs an illegal gay club that hands out free HRT & some kid gets brought in three & a half quarters dead & you're like okay well give him first aid because he seems cool & then later when he wakes up you're like sorry everyone here is a big fan but you need to leave we can't help you any more than this because the cops are gonna kill us if they find out we made an illegal gay club in the walls of their maximum security prison which i am in because my best friend forever is the world's most infamous terrorist & the kid is like "oh you know my dad?" & then you're like. okay well. you have my gay army i guess. i can't let my bestie's apparent kid just die. & then you break out of prison & bring him to war at his request which traumatizes him severely. & then you have to tell his dad about it later like the world's worst impromptu babysitter. but he's cool with it because he's a #ally & also his kid's actual legal guardian did a way worse job so like the bar is pretty low

thankful for bread and butter and garlic #thankful

One Piece worldbuilding dares to ask the question what if the highest-security prison in the world had a gay bar in it

Something else about this is if you’re the average prisoner in this prison you have to get burnt alive or eaten by wolves 24/7 but if you’re queer they take you to the gay bar and you get to party constantly and eat a bunch of delicious food that they’ve inexplicably got in there and also you get free and instantaneous HRT. This is not even subtext it’s literally what they’ve got going on.

ever since i was a little girl i always wanted to be unemployed

Working on a good luck babe dark souls parody, I get as far as "you can make a hundred poison swamps" before closing my laptop and applying to grad school on my phone

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone