hi for the love of god hello

Idgafffff about the patriarchys effect on men LOL

MICROWAVE YOUR PHONE

coming up with sexual roleplay scenarios about growing up Upper-Middle Class

Hey, it looks like your parents aren't home because they're still at their Well-Paid White Collar Jobs...why not stop playing with that New Videogame Console and come have some real fun with me in your Bedroom You Don't Share With Any Siblings ;)

you put a dog on a diet and he'll start begging for plain ass vinegar like he's christ on the cross

Every work of art says things the creator hasn’t considered, but if you’ve really thought about what you’re trying to say then generally the additional dimensions you didn’t know it had are in alignment with your purpose, whereas if you think you’re making no cultural comment at all you are actually making a LOT of cultural comments, most of which will be unflattering to you

looks thru a glory hole & sees a train coming straight towards me

my writing gland is purple and swollen

i suggest not letting it get this far

can i come over and be weirdly quiet and use your lap as a pillow and never leave

can other people stop being loved on this post this is about me

dr pepper is and always will be god tier soda. fuck blue lives.

Links to my free sewing patterns! - big manta ray - smaller manta ray - monster friend (those monsters with horns I’ve been making lately, but without horns) - pie slice - Fred, the Fish of Minimal Effort - tiny cat (aka Jiji) - mini mothman - whale shark/donut whale shark - juggling frog/toad (aka my smallest, simplest frog pattern of the three I’ve made) - large frog - tiny hedgehog - minecraft bee - minecraft zombie - blorbo - Strawberry Hearts quilt pattern - starfish - little octopus - canvas tote (wider than it is tall) - canvas tote (taller than it is wide, more of a grocery bag)  - basic bat and ghost - mini mushroom friends - whale - hammerhead shark - simple seal - cartoon flea (the one from Emperor’s New Groove) - little stingray - little alien  Tutorials: - flannel baby blanket tutorial - onigiri bag tutorial - tomato pattern design walkthrough (how I design the pattern, not a link to the pattern itself) - giant worm tutorial (I don’t know why it’s marked mature? it’s a worm)

Added a little alien pattern! These little aliens fit in my flying saucer plushie/bag but I have not yet shared that pattern (I gotta figure out where I can get more of the plastic dome lid things first) As always, if the timestamp on this reblog is a while in the past, it’s worth clicking through to the original post, I will update it to add links every time I share new patterns on tumblr

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

liberalised religious people love saying "no one actually literally believes [orthodox belief of centuries which the recognised global leaders of the religion hold as true and the majority of local religious figures teach as to be believed literally]" it's literally their favourite thing to say. it's enrichment for them.