How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?

Have yall noticed how we somehow have strange aversions towards lights?? Like maybe not all of us, but we kind of know that if someone is sitting in the dark, you either leave them or join them. Like last night, I walked into class and there was just one guy there and the lights were off so i just sat down, 30 minutes later everyone else was in and the lights were still off. Only turned it on when the professor came in...

Okay I do not give a shit about this article at all but where did they get this picture of the skeleton wearing prescription pill armor

I do this to anyone I'm around.

I go from sounding like a Canadian to sounding like I immigrated from China cause of two of my coworkers

They find it funny and are trying to get me to combine their accents into one.

MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER as SPENCER REID

I've seen Wade do that enough times to know what it is.

(15+15=30

Three

Five

Nine

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

one thousand is even and

has an a in it.

Okay, so things didn't work out with York. Like, at all. We tried New York and it kinda went well for a while, but it still wasn't that good in the long run, too many rats and alien invasions.

New New York went all in on vacuum trains and, well, we don't talk about it anymore. York 4 seemed to be going swell, but then the new age building materials the council insisted on importing from Alpha Centauri kinda... swelled up? Turns out it was a unique form of hibernation for some microorganisms and then they woke up and it was, uh, not pretty.

New York 2 Electric Boogaloo was, in fact, not named that officially, but after the space rats invaded and became our overlords from the subway system we just gave up on the city and imploded it. Was cheaper that way, and not like anyone lived there - it was basically Delaware all over again, but with even more lax corporate friendly laws.

Finally, we had enough. Through painstaking effort we recreated the original city of York from historical data, figured out how to make clay bricks again and revived the appropriate tree species and BAM. Old York was born. It's boring, but still stands. Just like the original York. I've never heard anything about it, so it must be perfect.

"Why not just come up with a new name if you're so superstitious about them?"

"Shut up alien, you wouldn't understand. You can't just... abandon a name, that's wasteful. It's got history, linguistic connections, meaning, it's... it's just... You can't come up with new city names just because you feel like it!"

"But why?"

So the professor comes in and I cannot express enough how much this man was actually round, not tall, greying, balding, and literally wearing a three-piece tweed suit with a little red bow tie. He was the most perfect human being I've ever met.

Anyway the look on his face when he saw an actually packed lecture theatre was one of sheer unbridled glee. Natural, right? His dinky little subject is suddenly unbelievably popular.

Which gave him the perfect opportunity to talk about pissing for a solid hour. Because that was his specialist subject. Comparative urination etiquette.

This man who was the Platonic ideal of a humanities professor stood there and talked enthusiastically about piss to a packed to the rafters lecture theatre full of bright-eyed first years, and as this was a Monday morning it was almost certainly many people's first ever university lecture of their whole life. His eyes were glittering with joy the whole hour. He was having the time of his life.

There were absolutely no questions at the end of the lecture. He, apparently having fully understood what he was doing, clearly expected this and instructed us to have a lovely day and wished us good luck on our higher education journey.

You could sit anywhere you wanted in the lecture theatre the next week and the lecture was intro to methods in anthropology.