clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after
clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

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clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after
clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

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fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now
I wish it were more acceptable to discuss suicide and ponder death without having to worry about someone pulling the therapy speak or getting mad at you for thinking about these things.
it’s pride month, minions. you know what that means
do you want us to, like, cast gay spells my leige?
<|:^)

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It’s wild how when you’re fat or even just not skinny you don’t get to wear fucking anything
One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.
It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.
Annual reblog of Freddie and his magnificent cats.
happy Pride Eve!
the thing about being a Tech Person™ is the universe takes it as a challenge. oh you can handle normal problems easily? take some Extremely Not Normal ones. my friend just told me my outgoing voicemail message is in Italian for no apparent reason

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make a bunch of wheels with bread/cheese/meat/vegetables/sauce/extra so that you can Spin for Sandwich
you're making a sandwich!! Spin THIS wheel 3-5 times for the toppings!
How is it!
good!!
it's alright
ew
EW
inedible
Results
op note: I GOT JAM, JAM AND HOT SAUCE. IM DEAD.
whelp
lol. then double ranch peanut butter and ham. Mutual was the most palatable topping tbh.
I am transgender and wish for the fall of the American government.
reblog if you too are transgender and wish for the collapse of the united states
A lot of companies that make things have two separate lines: consumer and enterprise. Consumer is for us poors that the company doesn't need to respect. You can buy more expensive, higher tier consumer items but it's just as fragile. You're paying for more bells and whistles. Enterprise grade is stuff that will actually last because it is often sold in a lot as part of a contract and the contract won't be renewed if the items suck. These things are often just not sold to consumers because why would you ever buy consumer-grade garbage if you could buy this?
For something like computers, this looks like how pricey "gAmiNG" laptops look all fancy but fall apart in about the same timeframe as the lower end laptops for students. But if you've ever handled the sort of laptops for banks or businesses, you'd wonder why laptops can't all be like this. People swear by Lenovo Thinkpads for a reason. Dell's Latitude (general productivity) and Precision (has the power of a gaming laptop but far less bs) lines, HP's probooks, all feel really nice and last for-fucking-ever. But you can't buy them in a store even if you wanted one.
So the trick is to buy what big organizations are buying, but you likely gotta get 'em secondhand when the orgs are done with them. For basic clothes, mil surplus might be a good port of call, for technology see an e-waste recycler or sometimes government auction (you just gotta know what to ask for; ThinkPads, Dell Latitude/Precision, HP Probook/Zbook). Otherwise try to thrift old, pre-enshitification items. The blanket I had as a kid is still going strong and has lived to bury multiple sets of newer bedding (which have worn thin and torn). Kitchen items, see if you can shop at a restaurant supplier.
TL;DR: if you need an item, think "which business needs these to function" and see where they 1) buy theirs (suppliers) or 2) sell their old ones (surplus) and buy that. If you can't do that, look at older, pre-enshitification things.
These days even this isn't true. Enterprise is just as shit.
Latitudes used to be good laptops, thinkpads used to be good laptops, a Microsoft license used to be worth something, but now its all just kind of shit.
trying to make a creative project without men and uproot any masculine words will drive one insane. There's the obvious stuff, right, swordsman becomes swordsmaid, count becomes countess, gladiator to gladiatrix and so on.
But did you know that "-er" is a masculine suffix, for which "-ster" as in "sister" is the feminine equivalent? Baker means a man that bakes, the historical feminine equivalent is a bakster, a webster is a female weaver. Some words already have the feminine as default, youngster, teamster, mobster, but most? Trying to be a principled feminist has you saying shit like goonster
Wait for real? Fascinating.
for real! Lots of other examples too, anything "patr" comes from father, "patriarch" is the obvious one, but patriot, patron, patronym all would need "matr" for mother is instead. Pope and Papacy derive from "Papa" and would be Mome/Mamacy if you want yuri catholicism (hellworld!!) it's EVERYWHERE
My favorite example, beyond the obvious ones like lord/lady, waiter/waitress, steward/stewardess, is housekeeper, which is now the more acceptable term for a maid, when maid, of course, just means "woman" and keeper is masculine, would be keepster or keepess but (to my knowledge) neither were used historically because, well, keeping wasn't something women got to do!
Likewise, waitress has fallen out of favor for host or server, which are also both gendered terms. (hostess or serving girl, respectively. Servant is also gendered, maidservant and servantess were used)
There's been a concerted push with a lot of these to phase out the feminine variants of these words and just treat the masculine variants as neutral, or find neutral alternatives like fireman -> firefighter (even though fighter is also gendered) because the feminine variants are seen as inherently lesser, which, yeah that's how women are seen.
There is a line you have to draw somewhere of "okay let's just treat this and below as gender neutral because, frankly, most words that just mean "person" mean "man" historically because women weren't (and still largely aren't) considered people, and otherwise we're going to shred the whole English language" and I get that.
BUT. I think a lot of folks draw that line at the start and insist that man/guy/dude/bro can be gender-neutral which is obvious stupid. And I think it's always worth having this investigation and questioning how we speak, it shapes how we think about worlds and people real and fictional.
Okay one last silly aside about barista, which is supposed to be gender-neutral from Italian but men got weird about it and then invented baristo so now -ista is kinda feminine? Typically it's just borrowed into English to sound Foreign (Sandinistas leading to the exonym Corbynistas)
Bucket, Captain Lieutenant are gendered masculine btw, it'd be buckette captaine and lieutenante. It's not just an issue of suffixes being "ignored"(masculinized) when borrowed from french because we write Debutante with the e. Multiple times a month I stumble into new examples, the battle never ends
hey i'd just like you to know ever since i saw this post it's been the only thing i think about when at work. Because of it i've tried imagining a version of english that is more feminine or even 100% fem. 1. it's been such a wild ride just going "my god how we speak is weird." 2. I has been a pure joy coming up with an idea for a world for a bee species and a lesbian lizard species to speak in this language.
we are now sisters in arms in an eternal war 🤝

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"i think", i say, about my own ocs, who i made,
the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.