Under Her Bows

Rewatched I Saw the TV Glow with my partners and it had me ugly crying like 6 times.

/ban user:1153984868804468756

to get rid of it.

if you're interested in the Colorful support post i made regarding this, its under the cut. i'm livid.

Discord bots you need to ban

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Bounce

Only

before I started presenting as a woman, I took every opportunity I could get to wear girl clothes. people love a man in a dress, there's a reason that "why can't you just be a feminine man?" is so common. my mother asked me that and I said, "I tried." I can tell you from firsthand A/B testing that people like me more as a man in a dress than as a trans woman. I got treated better.

it's very easy to understand that they are reacting to the same transmisogyny that we are, but I just really don't buy the idea that we have the Same Struggle. I see a lot of them on tiktok doing skit comedy and, "haha no don't worry, I'm not a trans woman I'm just a man in a dress" is an extremely common joke. I can accept that they are in danger, in that moment, but I need you to accept that the truth would not help me like it helps them.

this is not even like a new or groundbreaking idea I'm putting forth here, I watched Eddie Izzard's Dressed to Kill 18 years ago.

I was referring to reality as in consensus reality, meaning that society treats femboys like cis men. obviously, the closet is not a privilege, but I personally stayed in the closet because it was safer. we don't have to be precious about that.

I want to see us talking about this with more nuance, it's really frustrating how polarized this conversation is. you can talk about the differences in the way cisheteronormative society treats us without thinking of femboys as your enemy, you can talk about how a lot of transfeminists fall into this thinking without speaking with such contempt. many of you have fallen into an us vs them mentality and I get it, I too am under siege, but you just can't do that.

genuinely this was the first comparison I thought of, it's almost 1:1 including the fact that cis lesbians sometimes ignore the misogyny cishet women are reacting to. I resent ciswomen as a class, I can understand that a lot of the transmisogyny they perpetuate is in reaction to cismisogyny, I have no problem with sufficiently-transfeminist individual ciswomen. none of these things contradict each other.