SAlbinicParadox

realized how i sounded talking out loud today

these are getting weird

happy pride month!! sharing an excerpt from my latest book in which a flamingo falls for a toxic peacock, but is saved by the wisdom of her cool mom & handsome harpy eagle wife ….. bc stable queer elders are everything <3 if you’d like to read more, this book, a quick & easy guide to healthy relationships, is in my shop and wherever books are sold. be safe out there this summer ok?? 🏳️‍🌈

I wanna start saying "not you, rabbit ears" bc that's what my dad always said growing up but idk if the tone will come across.

This was the test of the new pattern and I love her. 🎏💕

But the moment it starts talking about blood purity, her divine right to rule, and how ubermensch her babies will be with the man with the equally super special bloodline? You're doing girlboss eugenics at that point.

"Specialina's love interest is McBroody, a man with rare rabbit powers. With both squirrel blood who have domain over the skies and rabbit blood who have domain over the land, their children will have domain over everything and become the most powerful beings on earth who will bring the kingdom eternal balance, thus the evil rat people do everything to keep these two apart." 🛑🛑🛑 STOP. DO NOT PASS GO. THINK ABOUT WHY THE HAPPY ENDING OF YOUR FEMALE POWER FANTASY IS HAVING GENETICALLY SUPERIOR BABIES.

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

put that hot prince in a gay little hood with an ostrich feather or so help me god

Most unserious animal